Goth single ladies

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I just want to make you happy. But women around me keep dying. (Part 5)

2020.09.21 00:04 poloniumpoisoning I just want to make you happy. But women around me keep dying. (Part 5)

Sorry it’s been a while. Things are spiraling into chaos fast, but I’ll try my best to retell the facts to those that have been kind enough to pay attention to my story.
After Scotia explained to me that Richie never left the pub, and that he was only quieter than usual that night, we ended our video call, and I had more questions than answers – who or what came to have a drink with me?
But I didn’t have a lot of time to give it some thought, because I was visited by Scotia’s most difficult friend shortly after.
She barged into the clinic like a hurricane.
“I’m the Memory Witch and I’m here because Scotia requested it. Don’t overuse it and don’t ever contact me directly”, she introduced herself in a sour voice, then had me sit on a chair to start what she came to do.
The Memory Witch was easily the most obnoxious woman I’ve ever met. She was short and overall looked like a nerdy 15-years-old, with stripped socks and kind of goth-loli clothes, but on the inside I’m pretty sure she was one of those stereotypically scary witches from Grimm’s tales.
“Eat it”, she shoved something that looked and felt like loofah in my mouth.
Both my tongue and brain started feeling numb. She then set up one of those CRT TVs from the 80s beside me – how did she even bring that thing with her?
“Focus on sharing those specific memories with me. Do nothing else.”
Every single sentence she said to me sounded annoyed and downright rude, but she was the only one I had to help me with that, so I did my best to follow her orders.
“You”, The Memory Witch looked at Berthina. “Grab his hand. He’ll need it.”
When the witch turned on the old TV, I felt like every nerve in my body was being hit by lightning. I was able to take a quick glance at the screen before passing out.
In between the static, I could see Elijah and a woman.
She was literally watching my memories like a movie.
***
I woke up hours later to an orange room, and realized the sun was already setting; Berthina was sitting in the quasi-darkness browsing the internet.
“Boss!”, she got up and quickly hugged me. “Thank goodness you’re ok. It will take me a while to forget your screams.”
“What happened?”
“She played Marisa’s memories that were with you on that little old TV. Like, over and over. For hours. You seemed to be in terrible pain, even passed out, but she didn’t stop. She then brought a woman named Saturn or something like that and this other lady wrote down some things. She’s another powerful strange person.”
I grabbed the paper.
Dear Daniel,
I’m sorry you were whimpering and drooling when we first met. Let’s grab a coffee one of these days. My name is Mars and I can determine a person’s first name and their approximated location if I see a clear footage of them. Here’s what I’ve got from your memory:
It was then followed by a list containing six names. Each had a city, state or country written near it.
“I’m already looking for them on Facebook but you know… it’s not super helpful to search for an Aurelia in Portugal”, Berthina explained. “I think this one has a lot of potential, though.”
My assistant pointed to the screen – she was researching a woman named Magnolia in a very small town, a two-hour drive from where we live. In this case, Google wouldn’t be as useful, but we were both thinking the same thing.
“I’ll go there”, I suddenly decided. “We’ll close the clinic for one or two days until I find her.”
“Want me to come with you?”, Berthina asked.
“I think you’d be more helpful tracking Marina. She went no-contact with her – our – father, but maybe she’ll look for him now that all the worst parts are forgotten. And when she does, I need you to be there.”
Berthina nodded. She was a truly loyal, helpful angel.
***
I went to bed early so I could start driving before sunrise the next day.
The next day came, and I was incredibly anxious. This woman was an old flame of my father, so whatever she knew about him would be extremely useful and important to me.
I’d use all my half-demon charm and tricks to get the information out of her, I promised myself, as I sat in my car, parked across the main square under the drizzle. I figured I’d be the best way to find a local, at least until the weather decided to be against me.
Defeated and after waiting for three whole hours – which feels like days when the only thing you’re doing in carefully examining the faces of the meager passersby – I decided to enter a café.
There was only another client inside, a woman in extremely old-fashioned but tasteful clothes; you couldn’t see her face behind the giant, intricate hat, and her hands were gloved, so she could be anyone, of any age.
“Here’s your coffee, Magnolia”, the waitress said softly, and turned to tend to me.
“Can you please lock yourselves in the kitchen?”, Magnolia asked softly, as she took off her gloves. Her hands were incredibly young and pristine. “I believe I have a few matters to set with this young man.”
***
Her movements were soft but powerful, quick but seamless; she was the most experienced fighter I’ve ever saw, and I saw some shit when it came to Scotia and her friends. And God, she was beautiful – milky skin, the blackest hair, dark-blue eyes, lips like petals, jawline like Sophie Loren’s. The whole main heroine thing.
Her first hit caught me completely off-guard, so much that my only reaction was to fall from my chair under the weight of her elbow, pathetically trying to cover my head. It seemed to intrigue her.
“You’re not that much of a fighter”, she remarked, and then covered the distance between my table and the door in a second, closing it with the tip of her boot. “I’m not taking any chances, as far as I know you’re just the bait.”
I shook my head no, still mesmerized and in disbelief. I never expected me to be the prey in this exchange – in fact, I just wanted to get information out of her, I didn’t mean to hurt her at all.
“Explain yourself”, she demanded, her galaxy-like eyes gleaming with authority.
“Yes, as you guessed, I’m Elijah’s son”, I prefaced.
“Elijah?”, she laughed. “Oh boy, why would an adult man call himself that? But please, proceed.”
“I never met him in my life. My mother died at 40 and I hate him for that. I’m going around trying to gather information about him.”
Her eyes pinned to mine, she seemed to examine my soul.
“I believe you. You don’t reek of death, although… you had some darkness in your path before you started doing well, huh?”
I nodded.
“Still, I have a lot to uncover before I can trust you. How did you find me?”
“I saw you on the memories of a girl named Marisa Evans”, I replied. It was the only time she ever looked downcast in front of me.
In my half-sister’s memories, Magnolia was always covering her face, and she was the only woman who didn’t either mistreat or ignore Marisa. Instead, she betrayed her.
Magnolia was good, almost like a motherly figure, and over the course of four months the two of them bonded and became close. But one day she simply left without saying goodbye, boiling anger and abandonment into the young girl’s heart.
“That kid was such a side-effect”, she muttered. “Is she doing well?”
“She’s not, but I think she’ll be soon”, I replied, simply.
She shook her head. “Seeing me in that girl’s memories isn’t enough to track me. Explain yourself”, she menacingly pointed her umbrella at me.
I told her about the Memory Witch and her associate – as vaguely as I could to avoid uncovering their identities, while still providing her enough information to answer her question properly.
The corners of her mouth finally went up a little, showing she was satisfied with my answer. She then left a dollar bill over her table.
“Follow me. Things are about to get stranger for you.”
submitted by poloniumpoisoning to PPoisoningTales [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 03:04 trapezevigilante 100K Giveaway - Basic Witch at 30

MOOD BOARD
Once upon a time, I, like many of us, was young and cool and ~*~eDgY~*~. I spent my days ringing my eyes in thick black eyeliner, listening to Chiodos, and whatever else it is that angsty teens do. My favorite outfit consisted of a pair of DIY'd ripped jeans with hand prints bleached onto the back pockets that a group of friends (and some strangers) had drawn all over in sharpie paired with a charcoal gray t-shirt with a giant pink skull on it, ratty converse high tops, and a toki doki lesportsac. Eventually, that angsty teen matured into a slightly less angsty twenty-something, and in just a few short months she'll be 30 and have officially graduated from angst to subtle existential dread. Along with this metamorphasis into "adulthood", my style has matured a bit as well- the eyeliner has been reduced to an upper lid only cat-eye, and no one draws on my jeans anymore. I still love a dark vibe though and my mood board is dedicated to the grown up witch life and all the **fun** that comes with it.
ITEMS INCLUDED:
Chloe Lace Trimmed Jumper - Grown up sweater with a grown up price tag. Lace detail as a nod to all the frilly victorian goth nonsense I used to (ok, still do) drool over. Haven't been able to find a 1:1 rep for this yet, but here's a similar one on taobao
Commando Perfect Control Faux Leather Leggings- The quintessential edgy but polished staple item. High waisted and perfect for holding in the Quarantine 15. I got mine from Nordstrom
iPhone 11 - For important adulting stuff and definitely not browsing RepLadies and WeChat moments. Incoming call from responsibilities that won't be answered, but also won't send to voicemail so it's not obvious that it's deliberate. Instead, stare at the ringing phone and wait patiently so you can get back to QC-ing that purse- it's on sale, after all.
An Absolute Ton of Unread Emails - I couldn't think of anything that better exemplifies what adult life means for me. Once upon a time, I was a person that cleared each notification. Now, I stare at the ever-increasing number and hope I don't miss anything too important.
Gentle Monster Her 01 Sunglasses - For blocking out the haters and preventing UV damage and crow's feet, while maintaining that cool girl she-might-be-famous vibe. As dark as my witchy heart. I got mine from this AE shop
Frye Veronica Ankle Boots - I thought hard about whether I should include these or combat boots, another edgy adult staple, but ultimately went with these because I like the way they look with the faux leather leggings better. Also they have buckles and jingle a little when I walk. One time last year a random guy starting humming "Bad to the Bone" out loud as I walked past wearing these and a leather jacket. I think he was making fun of me but that's exactly what I was going for so, thanks. If you want strangers to sing about you too, you can get some here
A Big Pile of Bills - Isn't being an adult FUN?!?!
Dior Rose Celeste Necklace - Again, witchy vibes, but subtle enough for adulting. I don't own this particular piece yet but recently someone posted a picture of a cat wearing it on the RL discord and I've been obsessed with it ever since. It's part of TS Heidi's 4 for 99 jewelry sale and I'm planning to place an order as soon as I settle on three other pieces- tough choices.
A Black Cat - Both of my cats are tabbies but this guy fit in better with the ~aEstEtiC~ of my mood board. Not pictured, all the cat hair covering that chic black sweater
And finally, the subject of my mini review..
Fendi Peekaboo Iconic Medium - Black with GHW/Monster Eyes
Overall it's a solid high-mid tier rep and I'm glad I got it! My only gripe is that I wish I had gotten the mini size. The medium isn't GIANT, but it's just a bit bigger than bags I normally wear. I considered getting rid of it and purchasing the mini instead, but it looks like there is not a single mini version of this particular bag at any factory in China right now so I decided to hang on to it. It can hold a ton and I'm super excited to use it for day trips etc when day trips become a thing again.
Happy 100K everyone!!
submitted by trapezevigilante to RepLadies [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 04:58 powerofawkward Grunge/Alt people are much MUCH nicer then old “nice” people

It legit gets on my nerve when people say “Don’t get piercings/tattoos! People will think bad of you!” Like excuse me Karen, but I 100% trust a heavily tattooed person with multiple tattoos and that Harley motercycle more then those ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ stuck up middle aged Christian woman. And they’re honestly so much nicer. Last year I went to Hot Topic on my birthday with my friends for a shopping trip. I’m not 18 yet and neither are my friends and we didn’t have jobs (I have one now, but it’s at my boyfriends record store and I more so volunteer then work because he can’t afford to pay me yet, so instead I paint albums and sell them there) so our families gave us $100 for each of us and we went to Hot Topic. This middle aged woman who looked like the definition of a Karen literally trailed behind us the entire time we were there, every. Single. Time we even touched something she would almost yell “There’s a buy two get one free discount” (Yes Linda, we understand. That’s why we’re looking at it.) snapped at us when we asked questions and was extremely slow when checking us out, which none of us normally wouldn’t care, but we were in a major hurry because we had to meet my friends mom at 1:15 at the food court and by the time she was done it was 1:10 and we told her “Hey, not to be rude, but please be fast, we have to get to the food court soon to meet our guardian so she knows we’re okay.” (Their mom is a bit protective, but tbh it’s a mall and there’s a lot of bad people in the world, so I don’t blame her on that one) And she rolled her eyes and went e v e n s l o w e r.
Almost a year later, my boyfriend and I went to the mall because one of my customers paid me a big amount (big for me, anyways hahaha) and I wanted to go shopping. My boyfriends store closes at 6 PM and our mall closes at 7 and we got there at 6:30, so we had to RUSH. We got to Hot Topic, and there’s a man with giant gages, (hope I spelled that right) multiple piercings and tattoos and dressed very goth. Was extremely nice, and when I told him I was worried about not being able to get to Claire’s before they closed (I only shop there because they’re the only place in my area that sells fake piercings/earrings and I don’t have pierced ears anymore and also can’t get other areas pierced yet, don’t judge. Plus, their stuff actually is kinda cute tbh) and says “Okie dokie! I’ll make sure to get you out real quick then!” In an extremely nice tone and was really nice to us and helpful.
So yeah, goth people are totally assholes. Suuure, Karen. 🙄
(I also wanna add really quick, I understand that the first employee did have to follow us around to make sure we don’t steal, it’s standard procedure and I do it a ton at my boyfriends store, so trust me, I definitely understand. That’s not what I’m criticizing, what I’m criticizing is the fact that she didn’t keep an eye on us, she legit followed us around, not doing anything else except watching us and snapping at us in a very small store that gets crowded very fast and made us all extremely and visibly uncomfortable. The lady even scoffed at one of my selections at one point, making me feel bad and made me put it back. I’m fine with the employees keeping an eye on me, I’d just much rather they do it subtly or at least attempt to be subtle so I don’t feel uncomfortable or unwelcome.)
submitted by powerofawkward to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2020.09.09 01:53 gwilkes0585 Quick reviews of 14 D&F scents

Hey, all! I'm still going through my backlog of scents as I try to tame the monster inside of me that whispers "Buy it alllll...." I figured the more reviews available for scents, the better, so today, I'm doing Death and Floral.
Quick note about the business/TAT: D&F has incredible customer service. If you have a question, the owner, Brim, will get back to you in about five minutes. She's quick to fix any issues, and she is an absolute workhorse. I can't say enough about this house's great communication, fun social media presence (I don't even like social media, but I follow D&F), and interesting collections.
My tastes: I love skin-but-better scents, woody scents, spices, and unisex/masculine-leaning scents. I enjoy most vanillas, lightewhite ambers, and atmospherics if they don't go too dirty. I hate patchouli, honey, and soil/dirt/earth notes.

DEATH AND FLORAL REVIEWS
The blues are all the same
Description: Smooth vanilla cognac, aged barrel wood, and sticky honey.
Review: Honey. So. Much. Honey. This is one of the scents that helped me figure out that honey is a death note for me, unfortunately. If it’s not, I think you’ll enjoy a nice smokey, honey scent. If honey also doesn’t work for you, pass on this one.
Who do I imagine wearing this? A cool older woman who drinks Scotch straight every night
FS, KS, or DS? DS

The same way I am in love with the moon
Description: Palo santo blended with smoked sandalwood and a lunar accord. Deep and reminiscent of a breezy night under a looming full moon
Review: How do I say this nicely? To me, it smells like a diaper. I wanted to love it, but I’m getting a little bit of indole and a little bit of powder.
Who do I imagine wearing this? An actual baby
FS, KS, or DS? DS

The soft crunch of bread and bone
Description: Flakey coconut French Madelines, stifling bakery air, vanilla cremé and crunchy macarons, the last sip of green tea with a mysterious lover.
Review: That stifling bakery air note is legit. This smells like a nice bakery that has been boarded shut for about a century. I get the vanilla, a breadlike aroma (not yeasty-- closer to buttery), and dust.
Who do I imagine wearing this? A barista at an artisanal bakery that is only open for four hours a week
FS, KS, or DS? KS

The sweater we buried you with is hanging in my closet
Description: A luscious blend of three different vanillas, resinous amber, Arabian sandalwood, a soft cashmere sweater.
Review: Rich, golden vanilla comes through right away. It dries down to an almost skin-but-better scent-- more like skin wearing a fancy lotion. This is a very subtle and well-blended scent that will make the person standing next to you wonder how you smell so nice. If you put this in a fancy bottle and slapped a $90 price tag on it, it would fit right in with designer, luxury fragrance lines.
Who do I imagine wearing this? The person who is so sickeningly pretty and put-together but is also too genuinely nice for you to be bitter about it
FS, KS, or DS? FS

Half-hoping to be eaten by a bear
Description: Woody, sweet bare skin; the lingering scent of dry leaves on a cold morning.
Review: Y’all, this is my scent. This is my everyday, buy another full-size bottle before the first runs out (just in case), #1 skin-but-better scent. It smells like the forest in fall in a dry, cold way. There is no decay, greenness, or wetness here. It is all cedar, skin, and magic. It isn’t strong whatsoever, which is the only thing I could possibly fault it for. Yes, I am biased. No, I’m not sorry.
Who do I imagine wearing this? Me, and I’ll hoard them all if they every stop being sold
FS, KS, or DS? FS then FS again

Decomposing roses for a decomposed romance
Description: Rose, white musk, vanilla, pink peppercorn, honeysuckle.
Review: I don’t even like rose scents, but I like this one. It doesn’t work amazingly well on my skin just because I am relatively averse to roses, but I still keep it and sniff it lovingly. It smells like the best roses-- roses that are deep red and should go on the front of a Valentine’s Day card. No old lady or funerary roses here.
Who do I imagine wearing this? The woman on the cover of a check-out line romance novel
FS, KS, or DS? KS

Lay Me in the Earth, and from My Fair and Unpolluted Flesh Let Violets Spring
Description: Milky baby deer skin, soft fur musk, warm earth, oak trees, floral forest floor moss.
Review: This is another one that has something indolic I haven’t quite put my finger on. It is less abrasive for me than The same way I am in love with the moon, and I did apply it and wear it for a while to see if it softened. The funk did wear away a bit for me, but it never really blossomed into the woodsy scent I was hoping for.
Who do I imagine wearing this? Have you ever met someone who can make kinda gross things seem cool through sheer confidence? That person would wear this.
FS, KS, or DS? DS

The wolf only needs luck to find you once
Description: Crisp forest night air, lunar musk, large drifting oakwood trees, the musky scent of a trailing shadow.
Review: This one needs some rest before you’re going to really get a good representation of everything it has to offer. When I first smelled it straight out of a 100-degree mailbox, I pouted and stashed it away with the other samples that are on the chopping block from my collection. I loved the idea of it, though, so I came back to it. It’s a nice, subtle musk that reads outdoorsy. I’m not in love, but for someone who wants something a little danker than Half-hoping to be eaten by a bear, this is a great musky alternative.
Who do I imagine wearing this? The camp counselor everyone had a crush on
FS, KS, or DS? KS

Swamp Elixir
Description: Soft honeysuckle and mossy oak trees, blended with water lilies and sparkling pink lemonade.
Review: Pink lemonade and honeysuckle, 100%. This scent really makes me wish there was a D&F honeysuckle single note because I think maybe this house could be the one that resolves my search for the perfect realistic honeysuckle. I don’t love citrus no matter how well done it is, so I’ll keep this sample but not FS.
Who do I imagine wearing this? A quirky art teacher whose parents probably wanted her to be a housewife instead
FS, KS, or DS? KS

The Peach Queen
Description: Delicate blend of rosy golden peaches, skin musk, and white amber.
Review: This is an excellent, realistic peach. It’s a little bit green, a little bit sweet, and thoroughly golden. I don’t know how something can smell golden, but this does. It’s not cloying whatsoever but is most definitely identifiable as straight peaches; it’s probably the most wearable peach fragrance I’ve smelled. If you’re in need of a peach scent, look no further.
Who do I imagine wearing this? I used to work with this woman who dressed like Stevie Nicks, wore make-up like Kim Kardashian, and earned a doctoral degree before she was thirty. She would’ve loved this scent.
FS, KS, or DS? KS

Nothing rusts in the desert, the air is full of ghosts
Description: Pink cactus flowers and sweet grass, with notes of warm rain and woody dry vanilla.
Review: I get the warmed sweet grass right away. I don’t get much of a woody vibe, even after drydown. This is the kind of fragrance that would be in a diffuser at a fancy spa. It’s light, a bit green, a bit floral, and just sort of a lovely background scent. It’s not my jam, but if you like subtle florals, this will be right up your alley.
Who do I imagine wearing this? The yoga instructor who certifies other yoga instructors
FS, KS, or DS? DS

The secret of wives and widows
Description: A dark and mysterious blend of Arabian sandalwood, luscious vanilla, orchids and southern night air, white tea in a fine cup of China held by a figure with long painted nails.
Review: This one was a journey. I drove myself nuts trying to figure out what the first waft I was getting could be. I finally figured it out: Nail polish! On the skin, the nail polish does fade on the dry down, and you’re left with the exact smell of a well-kept lawn in the South on a summer night. Make no mistake-- this is a LAWN, not a yard. There is a garden somewhere giving the air a tiny bit of floral sweetness, but it’s mostly green, humid, and a little bit foreboding. This is an atmospheric for people who really love atmospherics.
Who do I imagine wearing this? A frightening woman from the deep south who *will* shoot you if you spill tea on her white carpet
FS, KS, or DS? KS

Mountain cats will come to drag away your bones
Description: Pepper, laurel leaf, wood, musk, tobacco, amber, fresh mountain air.
Review: This one starts out as not-too-green, dry laurel and breezy mountain air. Don’t ask me how a perfume can smell breezy-- Brim is the wizard here. Is it ozone? I bet it’s ozone. Anyway, it’s light, a little sweet (from the tobacco, I’m guessing) and a bit green tea-ish at first. After it dries down, the musk and amber come through. I don’t get much pepper at any point.
Who do I imagine wearing this? A person who is incredibly good at both interior decorating and woodworking
FS, KS, or DS? KS

Goth Dolly
Description: Peru balsam blended with spiced sandalwood, and black lipstick accord. A tribute to womanhood and being whoever you want to be.
Review: I get the balsamic edge and powder when I take a whiff out of the bottle. It dries down to a woody powder. I’m on the fence about this one. It’s wearable and little bit dark but sort of reads as fancy sunscreen to me? Powdery scents amp like crazy on my skin, so anyone with a similar chemistry should use caution. Kind of smells like the inside of a Hot Topic circa 2006.
Who do I imagine wearing this? A person who can wear thigh-high, lace-up leather boots unironically
FS, KS, or DS? KS, maybe DS
submitted by gwilkes0585 to Indiemakeupandmore [link] [comments]


2020.09.08 00:52 Shiromifeari [TD] Island of Challenges: Episode 10

Previously, on Island of Challenges...
A mess was formed, and a very colorful one at that, our Final 15 campers fought for invincibility AND icesuckles in the paintball hunting game of the ages! Blood was drawn, lives were lost, but with precision, skill, and definitely a lot of luck... the Snarky Sharks once again snagged a victory from the Mellow Mouses!
While some Sharks spent the hot day cooling down, others just begun heating up! When our two resident couples entered a faithful eavesdropping sequence, many truths were exposed... or so they thought. Taylor and The Syncopation grew further apart after a misunderstanding, while the relationship of Sammy and Don only got closer.
After yet another loss, Flik started questioning whether sticking around Sass was good for her, but wasn’t completely sure of which side to take yet. While Dylan felt like it was finally time for him to step out of the shadows, he organized a very confusing setup, tricking others into voting in such a way where no matter who left, someone would be left shocked and mad... it would for sure end up badly...
However, all that work ultimately didn’t amount to anything, since the votes did not matter at all! Kaity was pinpointed as the culprit of the burning of Sagebay Island, and as such, due to prompting from the authorities... she was disqualified from the competition, leaving all the Mouses with their jaws hanging on the floor! They may want to bring them up so no ants crawl in.
Regardless, with this very shocking elimination, how are the Mouses coping with it? Will they ever make a comeback against those wicked Sharks? Will any more relationships be destroyed today? Because that’s been happening a lot lately!
Find out the answers to all these questions, and more, right now! on ISLAND... OF... CHALLENGES!
—————

Episode 10: Barnacle Heads!

—————
Current Status:
Snarky Sharks: Angelina, Don, King, Logan, Pratyush, Sammy, Taylor and The Syncopation
Mellow Mouses: Dylan, Flik, Ian, Surf, Sass and Violet
—————
The remaining six Mouses are seen getting ushered out of the campfire area and onto the main camp, it was a difficult task, as most of them were still in a state of shock from Kaity’s disqualification.
Dylan comes across Flik, who was writing something in a notebook, he sits down beside her and asks what she’s doing. She smiles at him, and shows what she had written, it’s a bunch of illegible scribbles, Dylan facepalms, mumbling he should have expected that. Regardless, Flik explains her thought process, she wanted to trace back the votes, so they could find out what could have happened had Kaity not been ejected. He’s shocked, because it’s actually a good idea, he relays everything he knew, and after a little dwelling, they come to the conclusion that: Sass voted Kaity, Violet and Kaity voted Sass, while Ian and Surf voted Dylan. Only two votes remained, theirs.... they both admit to voting Kaity, which means she would have been eliminated anyway. Dylan comments it’s a slightly reassuring thought that nothing would have changed, Flik seemed upset, she tells him she didn’t want to vote for Kaity... but she didn’t really have a choice. He asks her why she always does what Sass wants instead of what she wants... she doesn’t have an answer, Dylan stands up, and says that if Flik ever wants to make a move, she can hit him up, before leaving to let her think more.
In the girls’ side of the cabin, a contrast between Sass and Violet was present, the goth was tried to sleep so the sadness of losing her friend would ease off, while the model couldn’t stop giggling. Violet finally had enough, she goes up to Sass and asks what is her problem, how could she act like that after what had happened!? The model eyes her, before telling her it’s a game, it’s irrelevant at the end of the day. So... she basically means she doesn’t see her actions as personal? Violet questions how excluding her from the majority wasn’t emotionally charged, given how she saw her as a “weirdo”. Sass responds it had nothing to do with how she saw her, otherwise she wouldn’t have aligned with her in the first place, the model just sees her as a threat, she wanted to cut her as soon as she could... but never got the opportunity, Violet to some extent feels the same way, while she doesn’t like her, she also sees Sass as an obstacle, avoiding elimination several times after everything she’s done takes some level of skill. They stand in silence for a moment, before Sass tells Violet she’ll keep it down, both go to sleep... with an odd newfound respect for each other.
At the beach, Ian raises an eyebrow as Surf shows him the castle he and Kaity had built 3 days ago, he questions how he never noticed it was there, and the surfer tells him most of the campers seem to be unaware of the stuff that really goes down on the island. While his friend’s back is turned, Surf spots a bear standing up on two paws walking by the forest, the animal waves at him with a smile, and he happily waves back. His attention is taken back to Ian when the same asks him what he is going to do with it, Surf kicks off a part of the castle, making it collapse, he says somewhat embarrassed that he promised Kaity he would destroy it. Ian smiles and pats him on the back, adding that he did the right thing by fulfilling his word, making Surf grin, the two watch as the thousands of ants that had made a home out of the now destroyed building begin crawling out of the sand in panic.
—————
Confessionals:
Ian: (He rubs the back of his neck), Man, my jaw still hurts from how much I left it hanging. Kaity didn’t even mean to start the fire in the first place, which only makes things worse. And of course, I lost an ally and a friend at the same time! I need to find a way to turn things around for us... we need to win a challenge after everything we’ve been through lately.
Violet: That conversation with Sass opened my eyes... I should start taking this game in a more direct approach, that way I won’t feel so bad when I have to betray people, find ways to throw others under the bus and manipulate my opponents- (she stops for a second) Dammit! I’m starting to sound like my father! But again, it’s for a million dollars, only one of us is getting it at the end...
Surf: Homie, the people on this island really don’t give much of a thought to their surroundings, do they? It’s way more fun living here than the others make it out to be! It’s a shame it all gets overshadowed by the drama, if everyone just sat down one day to relax, I’m sure we’d all have a great time together!
Dylan: Flik has impressed me, but... she’s still not the brightest, she’s showing herself as someone I can trust due to our friendship, but also use as a guinea pig for strategies. (he laughs in a cocky tone) Sass is overlooking just how much using Flik could actually benefit her, I wonder how would she react if she was eliminated by the same person she thinks she’s been controlling this entire time...
—————
A few days later, the contestants are called to the mess hall, specifically the kitchen, Chef Helga stood on the counter eyeing the campers with a stare that could melt steel. She states the host will be away for a week due to legal problems with the burning of Sagebay Island, while he’s gone... she’ll be in charge.
Gulps can be heard from all directions, she may be a tiny old lady, but they were all scared of what she could do, now that she’s taking the host’s place, she has even more power! How would you not be shaking in your boots!? She slams her wooden spoon on the counter to get everyone’s attention:
“Welcome to your ninth challenge, barnacle heads. Since I’ve been making breakfast, lunch, dinner and other rewards for y’all, it’s time for you to repay your end of the deal! We’ll be doing a classic from my time... a cooking battle. You must prepare three separate dishes, an entrance, a main course and dessert. You will be judged on how well made said food is by me... and a face you’re all very familiar with”
As Helga finishes her statement, someone enters the mess hall, to the surprise and dismay of the Mouses... it was Ana. She glared at their fallen faces, Sass on the other hand did not seem upset at all, she had a sly smile plastered on her face:
“That excuse for a woman and I will be rating ya’ll’s dishes with a scoring system that goes from a tiny 0 all the way to a perfect 10. The group with the most points wins invincibility, IS. THAT. CLEAR!?”
Everybody nods in fear. She informs both teams they’ll have to elect a head chef, who will both lead and present the dishes when they are finished. Don and Violet step forward, shocking a few, however, no one had problems with them taking charge. Helga gives them 3 hours to prepare everything they need, as she and Ana leave, a kitchen timer can be heard ticking... time is everything when it comes to cooking, so they better start moving.
For the Sharks, Don suggests they should pair up with whoever they can work with the best. Everybody is content with the idea, after a minute, Angelina looks around, and notices she’s the only one without a partner. Logan, Pratyush and King had already gone off to make the entrance dish... she was stuck between choosing Sammy and Don or Taylor and The Syncopation, she didn’t like either, but the former pair was more tolerable, making her choice obvious. Sammy and Don warmly welcome her despite how she had been acting, she comments “it’s gym class all over again”, even though she never even went to high school.
Since the Mouses had 6 people, they need to form 3 pairs, Ian suggests doing what the Sharks did, while Sass believes they should let the goth choose the duos, she’s the head chef after all. Violet could smell from a mile away what the model was doing, make her do important decisions so if they lose, she’ll take the blame... well, if she wants to play, she won’t hold back, she goes along with Sass‘ idea, and pairs up everyone, she takes Dylan for herself, while she teams up Sass and Ian, leaving Surf and Flik to themselves.
—————
Confessionals:
Ana: That’s right, I’m back bitches! Not permanently, but I’ll take what I can get, life has been good, but I haven’t forgotten how my elimination went down! If you think the Mouses stand any chance at winning this challenge with me here... you are sorely mistaken.
Logan: Crud, I don’t know how to cook... my dad is from the military! We eat everything raw! How am I supposed to help here!? Stupid Chef Helga... why can’t we just keep having physical challenges? (he points at himself angrily) I’m amazing at those!
Flik: Normally cooking! When mean I doesn’t take house my too! I’m literally... good hope happen though, here I down at love because I doesn’t some I this let’s it too burn apparently try instructions.
—————
Pratyush begins ordering Logan and King around, they were at a time strain, so he was a little pushy. When questioned by Logan on whether he actually knew how to cook, Pratyush states he’s not the best, but he’s more organized and attentive than both him and King combined, which the jock thinks is a fair point. As time goes on, their dish turns out... ok, it was clearly burnt, but King states they should leave it as it is, as he doesn’t feel like they’ll be able to do better. Pratyush on the other hand doesn’t share his sentiments, he makes them try again, there’s always room for improvement.
Don is impressed with how well Angelina follows his instructions, she comments on how trash talking cooking channels eventually led her to learning a thing or two about making food. When she asks Don on his abilities, he states somewhat vulnerably that it wasn’t always like this for him... his father left him and his sick mother at a young age, so he had to learn how to take care of himself and support his mom at the same time. Angelina doesn’t know what to say, the mood becomes awkward and somber. Out of the blue, she says his mom must he proud of the man he grew up to be, surprising both Don and her... regardless, Don smiles at her, adding he didn’t expect to hear that from her, she comments she didn’t either.
A similar scene occurs with Dylan and Violet, the former voices his thoughts on how he didn’t expect the goth of all people to step forward as the head chef. Violet, like Don, explains why she’s good at preparing food, her parents divorced, and her mother got most of the childcare time, but since she’s a charity volunteer, she’s not the most present in the house, her father is also a terrible cook, so she’s normally the one who makes dinner for him whenever she’s there. After a while, her skills got more sharpened until where she stands nowadays, unlike Angelina, Dylan doesn’t act too sympathetic, in fact, midway through her story, he got bored and went over to check on Flik and Surf, making Violet pretty angry.
Flik and Surf show Dylan the dessert they created, a neat looking pie! He takes a bite out of it, and immediately regurgitates what he ate! When he looks inside, he notices a green and slimy texture. Dylan asks what ingredients they used, Surf says they used beetles, like the recipe book asked, Dylan takes a look at said book, and after he reads it, he shoves it in the surfer’s face, angrily yelling they were supposed to make a BERRY pie, not a BEETLE pie. Surf and Flik share a look, they knew they had fucked up, but before they could ask Dylan how to fix it, he was already running out the door towards the nearest toilet.
Ian looks at his team, Violet is doing everything by herself, but her anger is making her distracted, Flik and Surf are panicking for god knows what reason, while Sass and Dylan are nowhere to be found, the Sharks on the other hand seemed to be doing great, they’re all getting along. He sees the model walk into the kitchen, and begs her to help him make one good dish, as he doesn’t want to lose another challenge, Sass tells him not to worry, she made sure they won’t see the campfire ceremony today after seeing how chaotic things became. Ian raises an eyebrow at her confidence, she tries to reassure him, saying to trust her on that one, and he claps back that he did so in the past, which didn’t end well for him... but then sighs in defeat, because he doesn’t have any better ideas.
—————
Confessionals:
Dylan: (Dylan is not in camera view, all that can be heard is the sound of him vomiting nonstop)
Pratyush: I proud myself in my organization skills, at least in real life... not so much when it comes to my game. I like King, but he’s a little too immature and inconsistent, while Logan is a dense asshole 80% of the time. And yes, I know this doesn’t mean much coming from me, but you get the point, I wasn’t going to let them make a mess out of our dish!
Angelina: Dammit! (she facepalms) I have no idea why I comforted Don... but now I feel bad about leaving Sammy hanging a week ago, even after that... she’s been treating me with nothing but kindness and respect. Should I try and make things right with her? (she rolls her eyes) ugh, game, stop forcing me to think about other people’s feelings!
—————
Time is up! A stern looking Helga enters the mess hall along with Ana, who seemed nervous for some reason. The teams reunite and put their dishes on the table for the two ladies to judge them.
The Sharks were up first, Don presents what they made confidently, the entrance is french fries, the main plate is a whole turkey, while the dessert is a chocolate cake, everything is neatly put together. Helga seems to enjoy every dish, but does point out it’s still amateurish, regardless, they did quite well, Ana on the other hand nitpicks every single thing about their food, and forces displeasure whenever she takes a bite.
The Sharks’ final score is...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...21/60.
Helga gave them 7’s on every dish, while Ana didn’t give them a single point.
After that came the Mouses, Violet lacks enthusiasm when selling what her team prepared. The entrance was... a burnt pretzel, the main dish was undercooked spaghetti, and dessert was... a beetle pie. They both vomit after tasting the pie, Helga complains this is one of the most horrible presentations she’s seen on her career, while Ana... seems to be crying, but she tries to hide it, she gives every single dish universal praise.
The Mouses’ final score is...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...30/60.
Helga gave them no points at all, while Ana gave every plate 10’s across the board.
Helga eyes Ana with a clear judgement of her scoring decisions...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...Nonetheless, she announces the Mouses as the winners, she can’t be bothered to do a recount.
The Mouses erupt in celebration, they had been longing for the chance to redeem themselves, and that moment was now. Helga adds that along with invincibility, they’ll be able to eat everything they have prepared as a reward! Hearing this, they all burst out of the mess hall. She sighs and turns to the Sharks, commenting it’s been a while since their last loss, but now... they’re back on the chopping block, she’ll look forward seeing who they’ll choose to devour.
—————
The Mouses come back to camp with a sense of fulfillment, sure, it was a very questionably earned win, but they didn’t care, one round of safety is one round of safety, and that’s the truth.
Ian and Flik argue about whether deja-vu is a type of bird or the name of some weird 90’s pop song, neither speaks french so there’s no way of knowing, in the end, they respectfully agree to disagree.
Later, Ian and Flik can be seen discussing deja-vu, they can’t come to the conclusion of whether it’s a disease or the name of a forgotten one-hit wonder. Both get the sentiment that they had this conversation before, they’re informed by a nearby Violet that this is what deja-vu is, a feeling of familiarity that you can’t quite put into words where you got it from.
Inside of the male’s cabin, Surf sat on his bunk, he hears the sound of someone walking over to him. He looks up to find... Sass, she had a flirty look on her face, of course, he becomes red like a tomato instantly, she puts her manicured hand on his shoulder, and whispers on his ear that she knows he likes her. He shivers at the sudden contact, she tells him in a soft tone that all he has to do for her to like him back... is to do everything she says from now on. She questions if he understood, and he repeatedly nods, that’s a good enough answer for her, she gets up, and leaves him alone to ease the sexual tension.
—————
Confessionals:
Ian: Now that Violet brought this to my attention... I have been getting this “deja-vu” feeling, me bonding with Surf, my argument with Sass, and then Flik and i talking about the same thing twice... (he scratches his head) I can’t tell if this is all a huge coincidence or if the writers are running out of ideas.
Sass: (She’s laughing non-stop), I can’t believe my plan worked! I did a little blackmailing. I told Ana that if she didn’t make us win, I would reveal she has family band, the “Spicer Family”, she told me before she was eliminated about how she didn’t want the world to find out because it would ruin her reputation... well, karma is a bitch! (She starts laughing again, before falling inside the toilet). Ew! Okay... maybe I deserved that (she pulls herself out), and about Surf... well, you can never have too many puppets.
Surf: What was that!? Did I just get a girlfriend without realizing!? My friends told me before coming here that if I get one, my heart is going to feel different. It doesn’t... one of my legs feels a little weird though, you know, that one in the middle that’s really small for some reason? What does this all mean!?
—————
If something happened once, you could bet it was possible to happen again. Yes, it was a bullshit outcome, but the Sharks once again felt the taste of being on the losing end, it was bound for fate to repeat itself one day.
The Syncopation has quite the meltdown, their two most recent losses weren’t the fairest in his eyes, he still doesn’t want to admit he’s afraid of Nickelback songs, but he had a point about losing this challenge. Nonetheless, he was becoming an annoyance to the team in the state he was in, Sammy attempts to calm him down, however, she’s stopped by Taylor, who pushes her away and tells her to mind her own business, before pulling Sync away from her.
Taylor drags him to the forest, before setting him down, Sync laughs, commenting she acted as mad as the last time they were there. Truth be told, back when they were eavesdropping on Sammy and Don... they heard the last tidbit about Pratyush, what went down afterwards is where things get interesting:
Taylor feels a little embarrassed at how she had just acted, The Syncopation asks her what that was all about, and of course she wasn’t going to tell him why, but she didn’t think he was going to let it go. So instead, she turns the argument against him, questioning why he followed her, he also doesn’t have an answer... the tension rises, and neither tries to break the silence... until their eyes meet, they look deep into each other, and that seemed like all the confirmation they needed. They both lean in, and kiss, after about a minute, they stop to catch their breathes... they look at each other again, Taylor comments on how weird she feels, Sync shares the sentiment, he rarely feels this way... there’s just something really captivating about her, he actually likes her, and isn’t just attracted to her, Taylor tells Sync she feels the same way, but she didn’t know the best way to go about it, she never had a “real” relationship, which he can relate to.
Eventually, they started dating, however, unlike Don and Sammy, they didn’t tell anyone, as it wouldn’t end well to oust themselves as an obvious pair, they’re still figuring things out... but it seems like things are much more stable now that they’re not trying to one-up each other, they work as a team, a very deadly one at that. They decided on a target, as one can imagine, there can only be one power couple on this island. Taylor says she wants Sammy voted out, she’s a very dangerous social threat, and if they don’t do something now, she’ll be unstoppable, Sync agrees, however, he doesn’t think with the team’s current state that they’ll be able to get enough people to vote her out. That only leaves one person, the loner who has been making himself more and more unlikable lately... it was their best shot at that point, they agree that Sync will tell Logan who to vote for, while Taylor will work her magic on the rest of the team due to his meltdown from earlier.
Don pulls Pratyush aside in the male’s side of the cabin, he apologizes for the way he treated him, he hasn’t been able to fully fit in yet, which is why he’s been so abrasive. Pratyush is aware that Don’s only talking with him because of the fact that he’s on the chopping block, but he does feel bad, he seemed genuine, and Sammy told him how much she cared for him. He nods, and accepts his apology, he asks him the plan, and Don responds he’ll be voting for someone who has been very sketchy lately, he thinks it would be better to get said person out of the equation.
Everything was nearly set, they only needed one more vote to force a tie, and to Sammy’s surprise, Angelina approaches her, she begins tearfully apologizing, crying that she’s never had friends before, everyone on the internet is so fake, and she didn’t believe she would find a person who genuinely cared for her here. Sammy understands where she’s coming from, she attempts to give her a hug, but Angelina stops her, saying she still hates any kind of contact. As her friend, Angelina also tells her the team is targeting Don... and she may jump on that train, Sammy is surprised, she questions why she would do that after what she said... the agoraphobe responds that it’s the game, he told her his story during the challenge, and if she’s sitting at the end with him... she may get crushed pretty badly. Sammy... tears up, she had just started a relationship with someone, and now they were going to take him away. Things angers Angelina, she tells Sammy to create more of a backbone, this is why everything hasn’t been going well for her, she’s too nice, she needs to start letting her anger out more. Sammy takes her words to heart... take her anger out... she may know where to start.
—————
Confessionals:
The Syncopation: Sorry not sorry Donnie, you had your chance to prove yourself, but time and time again, you did the exact opposite. You showed me you’re as useless as Mya, as annoying as Gretchen, and as dumb as Logan, what a loser! Even if he knows that he’s going, I won’t be shocked if he’s still surprised!
Don: (he sighs) Well... I tried everything that I could, I think my time has come, regardless, I made some pretty darn good memories here. I got a girlfriend, and maybe... I got a little bit out of my shell, I learned a lot while on here, and I may not have won the million, but the experience was worth it.
Taylor: I’ve never been on a real relationship before, but now that I’m dating The Syncopation (she sighs), It’s nice, we share a lot in common, we’ve been able to work better together now that we cleared the air, and he’s fucking hot! Doesn’t mean I’ll stop flirting for my game, and neither will he for that matter. But... it’s good to have someone to count on, I guess... look, it’s still a novelty for the both of us, don’t judge!
Sammy: (she wipes a tear from her eye), I guess this is it... I didn’t want this to happen, but no one seems to be budging... I’m making sure his elimination won’t be in vain. Im following Angelina’s advice a bit, this person has been pretty quiet lately, however, they shouldn’t be ignored, they’re a monster... and I’m going to give them a little paranoia tonight.
—————
The 8 Mouses sat on the tree stumps, awaiting for the Campfire Ceremony to start. Chef Helga calmly made her way to her spot across from the camper, she held a tray with 7 heavily marshmallows on her hand... they looked delicious!
After everyone casts their votes, Helga begins explaining the elimination process. King tells her to hurry up, causing him to get hit on the head with a marshmallow, she yells that it’s her first time doing this, he doesn’t have to be so mean, and adds that he’s safe with no votes against him.
The other campers with no votes against them are...
Sammy
Pratyush
Angelina
The Syncopation
Taylor, Logan and Don remained, Helga states all three of them got at least one vote. Sammy hugs Don’s arm, while Taylor can feel Sync holding her hand discreetly, Logan sighs at the fact that he has no one to comfort him.
Avoiding the bottom 2 is...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...Logan
He is a bit surprised by the outcome, but he’s not complaining! Taylor huffs, this is the second time in a row she’s been in the bottom 2. Don looked ready for what was about to happen next, no matter who goes, a partner’s heart will be broken today.
The final marshmallow goes to...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...Taylor
She releases the breath she had been holding as she catches her marshmallow, Don gets up, turns to his team and says he bears no resentment to any of them, and wishes them all good luck, before walking towards the Dock of Shame.
Before he can step on the Boat of Losers, he’s stopped by Sammy, she holds his hands and states she’s going to miss him a lot, he kisses her hand, showing how he feels the same way. As the boat takes him away... he had a look of fulfillment on his face, he yells at Sammy to win for him, which she promises she’ll do, before he disappears into the night.
—————
Oh, I guess I’m doing voice-overs as well, anyway, Don was chewed out of the team, that must suck for Sammy, but she shouldn’t have made their relationship so obvious if she didn’t want him to go in the first place!
Now that The Syncopation and Taylor have tied the knot, will they suffer the same fate as Sammy and Don? How will Sammy deal with the loss of her beloved? Will Surf go along with Sass’ demands to get her? Wow, there’s been a lot of talk about love and lust today... ugh, younglings
To find out the answers to all these questions, tune in next time! On ISLAND... OF... CHALLENGES!
—————
Votes:
Don: Angelina, King, Logan, Taylor and The Syncopation
Taylor: Don and Pratyush
Logan: Sammy
—————
Thoughts on Don:
Yeah... I know, a somewhat predictable elimination, but I thought it would be better to do it this way so I could start setting up Sammy’s character for the future. Anyway, Don was one of my favorites this season, and I’m sure his elimination will come as a shock to some of you, I didn’t think highly of him at first, but I was surprised with how much I was able to get out of him once he started interacting with Sammy. Overall, his presence will be noted. Also, I hope the Beetle Pie becomes a thing.
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2020.09.04 23:09 lil_waine [Sell][US] Destash sale featuring Jeffree Star Alien, KvD Pastel Goth, Looxi shadows, Kylie palettes, Marc Jacobs highlighters, random $10 palettes

Welcome to my sale!! I am trying to destash some palettes and stuff that I don't use anymore. I'm hoping these products can find new homes.

Alamar Reina del Caribe palette, purchased off MUE, light use, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2
Bare Minerals Ready 8.0 palettes in The Power Neutrals and The Star Treatment, light-moderate use, missing one brush in Power Neutrals, take both for $10, verification photo 1, photo 2
*SOLD* Custom palette featuring Looxi shades and Colourpop Glass Bull single eyeshadow inside Make Up For Ever magnetic palettes (Looxi shades: Foxy lady, Baby Girl, Duperstar, Charmed, Misfit, Nirvana, Mila, Malibu), $15 for the whole thing, verification photo 1, photo 2
Jeffree Star Alien palette, light-moderate use, $45 obo, verification photo 1, photo 2, photo 3
*SOLD* Kat von D Pastel Goth palette, light use, $25 obo, verification photo 1, photo 2, photo 3
*SOLD* Kat von D Monarch palette, light use, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2, photo 3
Kylie The Bronze Palette, light use, original white packaging, note: this was purchased when they were released, they did not come with a mirror back then, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2, photo 3
Kylie The Holiday 2016 Palette, light use, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2, photo 3
Kylie The Diary Palette, light use, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2, photo 3
*SOLD*Kylie, Peach palette, light use, no brush, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2
Lorac Pro 2 Palette, light- moderate use, scratch on Cocoa shadow, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2
*SOLD* Marc Jacobs highlighter in Worth the Wait, light use, $15, verification photo 1, photo 2
*SOLD* Marc Jacobs highlighter in Gilty, purchased off MUE, light use, $15, verification photo 1, photo 2
~~\Take both Marc Jacobs highlighters for $2*0~~
SOLD Persona Identity palette, light use, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2, photo 3
SOLD Stila In the Garden palette, light use, no brush, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2, photo 3
Tartelette in Bloom palette, moderate use, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2, photo 3
SOLD Too Faced Chocolate Bon Bons palette, light use, Earl Grey shadow has a chip, stain on the outside packaging, $10, verification photo 1, photo 2, photo 3
submitted by lil_waine to makeupexchange [link] [comments]


2020.09.03 00:06 RocketMan_672 My pitch for a possible Frasier revival...

So, there’s a lot of ideas being thrown around that the Frasier revival is going to revolve around Frasier living with his son, Freddie, and, while I can’t confirm that that won’t be the premise of the revival, I can confirm that I wouldn’t really like it if they went down that road.
First off, I am aware that Freddie had some weird patches, like that episode where he was a goth for instance, but I think that he wouldn’t have grown up to be remarkably different from Frasier; Lilith is too formal and domineering of a parent for Freddie to grow up to be someone resembling Martin or a ‘stereotypical millennial’ like people have been throwing around. Having three Frasiers this time around - because remember we’d get Frasier, Freddie and Niles would presumably still be around too - sharing the space isn’t going to make for good comedy, so he’s off the cards, at least as a main character anyway.
Second, I just didn’t like Freddie that much. At all. I found him irritating for reasons I can’t quite put my finger on and I still find all of his episodes quite “skippable”. Not to blow smoke up my own a**, but I think I can do a better job at constructing a character in a single Reddit post than Frasier did with Freddie in 11 seasons.
So, the fact of the matter is we need Martin, but John Mahoney is no longer with us, so there needs to be a ‘new Martin’, not a carbon copy - because I think that would make for extremely cringe-y television - but a character that fills the void that John Mahoney’s passing has left. We can’t use Freddie for reasons stated above, so I propose we use...
Alli!
Who’s Alli? You might ask. Well, you remember Roz had that baby in the original series and named her Alice, well, that’s her now, albeit with a name tweak - that I’ll explain later - and an actual personality this time. However, before I delve into Alli’s story, a little bit of background:
Between the end of the original series and the present, Frasier married and subsequently divorced Charlotte. He also had a radio gig whilst living in Chicago, but, as the world is beginning to choose podcasts over radio more and more, the radio station closed down and Frasier decided to retire rather than try and find another job. Now, after Martin’s death, Frasier has decided to move back to Seattle to be closer to family.
Even though he maintains that it is not the same because it is ‘on the floor below his old apartment’, the series opens just as Frasier has moved back into an apartment completely identical to the one from the original series. Played for comedic effect but with kind of serious undertones, Niles claims that Frasier yearns for ‘the good old days’ again, and his obsession with having everything identical is a manifestation of this desire. Frasier denies that he wants the apartment to be identical, right before insisting that Niles help him move the couch because it is ‘slightly to the left of where it was.”
After settling into his ‘new’ apartment, Frasier finds retirement in Seattle not what he thought it would be. While he does find it familiar and comforting, Frasier feels quite left out and lonely in his retirement to Seattle, since neither Niles, Daphne, Roz or many of the side characters at KACL have retired. Niles and Daphne claim they’re still ‘saving up’ to afford a top tier college for both of their two children, even though it’s becoming clear that their son, David - a slightly aloof 17-year-old who only seems to be interested in soccer and punk rock - is not quite Ivy League material. Roz, on the other hand, refuses to retire until she gets KACL back up on its feet again, even though the now-unpopular radio station has been at death’s door for years. When Frasier questions Niles about why Roz has remained so obsessed over ‘rescuing’ KACL when its demise seems inevitable by now, Niles replies with a cryptic: “Well, what else does she have to obsess over?”
In an effort to reacquaint Frasier with Seattle and properly reconnect with him, Niles convinces Frasier to host an elaborate wine and cheese tasting at his apartment with esteemed guests. The evening turns disastrous when a conversation between Roz and Daphne about their respective lives directly before the party turns gloomy, and they reach for the wine for comfort. This soon results in Roz crying about how much of a failure she is and, after Roz struggles to find a positive quality about David when prompted, Daphne crying about having raised an aimless son. After an offhanded comment by Roz about how David would ‘kick butt’ in a public school - since him and his sister go to a ritzy prep school - while her daughter, Esty, would be ‘eaten alive’ in an attempt to comfort Daphne, she then cries about having raised a poor-spirited daughter.
Meanwhile, David, who was forbidden from going to a music festival and instead told to watch his sister while Frasier and Niles hosted their tasting and Roz and Daphne had a girl’s night, sneaks out anyway. In case it is not already obvious, Esty was not only named after Hester Crane, but mirrors Niles and Frasier in her behaviour, so, while David sneaks out, Esty is shown miming a conductor while listening to classical music through her headphones. Before he leaves, David gives her a brief look of bewilderment.
At the music festival, David is surprised when a punk rock band on the experimental side enters the stage with Alice as their lead guitarist, except she’s now introduced as Alli. While they are a semi-talented band, their style gets them booed offstage, as the festival is filled mainly with mainstream and cover punk rock bands. Afterwards, David meets Alli backstage, where it is quickly made clear that she has had little to do with her mother or the Cranes for some time. The rest of Alli’s band appears and confronts about the extremely negative reception that they just received. Here, it is revealed that Alli’s stubbornness to change - which is meant to resemble Martin’s - has been the main factor in the band not changing their style even if they are continually booed offstage. The rest of the band has agreed that they cannot go on like this and announce they are changing with or without Alli’s permission and she instantly threatens to leave the band if they go ahead with it. The scene immediately cuts to the band members eagerly speeding away in their van without Alli.
David, though air-headed at times, is big-hearted and assures Alli that he can help her since she is now stranded in Seattle without anywhere to go. After she recoils at the idea of David taking her to his parents for help, he remembers the wine and cheese party taking place at Frasier’s apartment and tricks Alli into thinking that the party is just ‘a place where a friend of his lives that she can go’ - as Alli was too young in the original series to properly remember the famous apartment.
At the wine and cheese tasting, the gathering has been completely ruined by Daphne and Roz’s unruliness, with the latter having taken to crying over the laps of random party guests and the former having taken to drunkenly seeking validation from them that she has been a good mother to her children.
Frasier and Niles are beyond mortified at the events unfolding around them, although Frasier admits to Niles in the kitchen that the whole affair is reminding him of the dinner parties in the original series and while he is overcome with embarrassment, he admits that he thinks he is beginning to feel whole and truly at home in Seattle again. Niles, as they walk out of the kitchen, adds on to Frasier’s statement that, while he is horrified now, he doesn’t see things getting any worse than this.
On cue, the door swings open and there stand David and Alli, dressed in their best festival gear. Alli instantly recognises the Cranes and her mother and both parties are shocked at the sight of the other. Alli, while she greets her, is extremely distant and brisk with her mother, addressing her simply as “Roz” instead of her mom.
David explains himself and Alli to his parents, stating beforehand that he “found Alli while taking a walk”, despite his obvious change of appearance since Niles and Daphne left their home earlier. Alli just wants to leave, preferring to ‘couch-surf and hitchhike her way to somewhere’ than ever face the prospect of having to live with her mother again, which seems like the only solution before her.
Roz pulls Frasier away and proposes an offer to him: In exchange for reviving Frasier’s show on KACL and giving him a job, he gives Alli a place to stay. At first, while he instantly realises having a radio gig again would mean true fulfilment, Frasier refuses, citing that Alli will be “just like his dad living with him again”. Frasier suddenly pauses when he realises what he has just said and, after a brief moment of silence, Roz admits to Frasier that Niles told her about his behaviour when he was moving into the ‘new’ apartment - again, an exact replica of the one from the original series - and his desire to have everything the way it used to be. Roz then asks Frasier if he can make this one last thing just how it used to be. Frasier eventually relents, but on one condition.
The final scene of the episode before the credits play resembles the last scene of the original series, except the camera pans across Frasier’s booth in the opposite direction, opting to show the window behind him first, which shows Niles, Daphne, Alli, David, Esty and others watching him through the window. As Frasier signs off, thanking the station personally for the second chance, the window beside him is shown, showing Roz behind the producer’s desk. Alli, meanwhile, has kind of taken up a Kirby kind of role at the station - like an assistant to Frasier and Roz among others - even though making her resemble Kirby is the last thing I want to do, because Kirby sucked lol.
A staff member enters Roz’s side of booth immediately after the end of show and announces that it was the highest-rating segment on KACL in over a decade and everyone appears ecstatic. While it appears as a happy ending, severe tension between Roz and Alli still exists, David’s aloofness still concerns his parents and the question of who will replace Roz as station manager looms over KACL.
The end credits show David, Niles and Daphne arriving home the night Alli arrived in Seattle. Niles, having realised that David snuck out to go to the music festival, chews him out as he directs him upstairs. Daphne follows, but notices Esty still conducting in time with the music coming out of her headphones in the living room and gives her the exact same look of bewilderment that David gave her earlier before heading upstairs. Esty has not noticed her, nor her father or brother, come in.
And that’s it...
Just to clarify a few things and to tie up some loose ends: On the topic of why Alli and Roz are estranged, it’s slowly revealed that Alli had a music teacher in high school that she was extremely close to and whom she eventually saw as father figure; it was this teacher, in fact, that introduced Alli to the style of music that she now simply cannot leave behind. This teacher was also the first person that Alli came out to.
That’s right, motherf**kers, Alli is the show’s first starring character who identifies as openly gay. I think that it’s a sin that a show with a cast and crew that’s included so many LGBT people never did it in the original series, so I’m out to fix it. On a semi-related note, on the topic of Alli’s name change, I came to the conclusion that Alli simply has a more androgynous tone that the obviously feminine Alice. While Alli is by no means non-binary, the character is not afraid to turn away from a lot of stereotypically feminine interests and most definitely does not behave, as old white people would put it, ‘like a lady’. Also, again, while she is not non-binary, Alli’s dress sense and the way she presents herself at times is not strictly feminine or masculine. Anywho, I just can’t see a name like Alice fitting the character anymore and, even though Alli is also a feminine name, I do think it comes across as a bit of a halfway point between Al and Alice and therefore the name is not as staunchly feminine as Alice. The fact that Alli was born as Alice is not retconned either, it is explicitly stated that she made the decision that she would prefer to go by Alli some time ago but before that she was still Alice.
Anyway, back to Alli and Roz’s relationship and how it got so bad, Roz eventually ‘decided’ that she was in love with Alli’s beloved teacher, according to Alli, and began to pursue him. After things ended extremely awkwardly between the two, the teacher abruptly told Alli that he could not teach her anymore and left Seattle. Alli struggled to cope with losing what almost felt like a second father and, as a result, her and Roz’s relationship deteriorated significantly. After high school, Alli moved closer to her mother’s extended family in Wisconsin for college and has had little to do with her mother ever since.
Alli is not a carbon copy of Martin, but her personality at times clashes with Frasier’s just as his did. She is not overly materialistic nor does she put much thought into what others think of her and, as I mentioned above, Alli can be quite stubborn and, while she is not as traditional as Martin was, unwavering on matters that she holds close to her heart. For example, in one theoretical revival episode, Martin’s old chair ends up in Frasier’s possession again. After she sees that David - who was extremely close with Martin - is visibly upset by Frasier’s announcement that he is simply throwing the chair away, Alli passionately argues that Frasier simply cannot do that.
Also in contrast to Frasier’s staunch moral compass - take “Oh my god, I’m dating Lana/Lorna Linley for completely self-serving reasons and I feel the need to tell her, blah, blah, blah…” for example, Alli at times has little moral compass. For example, in a later episode in the theoretical revival, Alli receives news that her former bandmates were arrested for drug possession not long after she was kicked out of and the band’s dog, Billie, a Yorkshire Terrier, needs a guardian. She is adamant that the dog is not her responsibility and she owes none of her former band mates anything, Frasier, however, after misinterpreting a conversation between Alli and a lawyer, thinks Billie is a very small reptile and convinces her that taking him in is ‘the right thing to do’. He fails to realise that this means an extremely lively dog will be living with him again until it’s too late.
HOWEVER, and this is a big HOWEVER, Roz’s parenting that we saw in the original series, that included supplying Alice with classical music and enlisting Niles’ help to get her into a very good preschoo has resulted in Alli’s intelligence actually being comparable with that of Frasier and Niles’. However, Alli shows little interest in any of the pastimes that Niles and Frasier would be interested in and instead partakes mainly in ‘common man’ hobbies and interests, such as playing an acoustic/electric guitar, participating in social media, watching reality television and engaging in many other forms of mainstream pop culture. Alli’s mannerisms also mean that she would not be easily accepted by the circles that Niles and Frasier associate with. For example, in one theoretical episode, Niles joins an intellectual debating team and Alli is revealed to have a savant-like knowledge and understanding of many historical topics. However, her proclamation of: “YA TAKE A SWING AT THE QUEEN, YA BEST NOT MISS!” after delivering an excellent rebuttal at the end of the episode indicates that she is still far from being fully accepted by the snobbish society.
So, that’s about it, I have either elements that I’ve left out, so if you have a “what do you think _______ is doing in the revival?” feel free to bother me with it. Other than that, enjoy my completely theoretical and fanatical take on what the Frasier revival should entail... Good day and good mental health... or whatever lol
submitted by RocketMan_672 to Frasier [link] [comments]


2020.09.02 01:30 getyaisha "Tales from Idleberge: The H Files" final (Fiction)

“This is Kasey Monroe reporting for channel 3 news. Were here live at Harold Wilson high school the scene of what’s being called one of the most horrific crimes in recent history 43 people were murdered in the building behind me and according to police this could be connected to a string of disappearances in the area we’ll keep you informed as the information comes in. Our hearts go out to the good people of Idleberg, back to you Tom”…. I’d been in the hospital for two weeks and the homunculus hadn’t come back. The whole town was going crazy after what happened at the school, the state police had been called in along with every news station for miles the town was flooded with people from all over.
In a bizarre sort of way this was probably the best thing to ever happen to this shitty little town. All this death brought new life to Idleberg, every business in town was turning a profit, literally bathing in the blood of its fallen brothers and sisters. (Yet another reason to hate this town and everyone in it.) My head had been killing me for the last two days and I didn’t make the connection till I realized no one else had gone missing since the high school, the homunculus was moving away from town. But that didn’t make sense the creature won’t leave an active food source unless it’s compelled to. Something was drawing the homunculus out. I snuck out of the hospital that night and walked home, when I got there I loaded up the rental car and started driving until my head stopped hurting. The first place I came to was a truck stop about 60 miles outside of town, the place was busy so I doubted the creature would be there but my head wasn’t hurting, it had to be close by. I pulled up parked the car and went inside, I ordered a burger and fries with a coke to go, then went outside for a smoke. I stood there for a while watching the traffic roll by I took a long drag off my cigarette, thumped it out then turned to go back inside, everything changed the second I stepped through that door. The air was stale and the room was covered in dust the lights flickered, it looked like no one had been here in years but this place was packed, shaking my head I backed out slowly once I was back outside the building changed to a dilapidated shell, the neon signs now sun bleached, broken and scattered around the empty parking lot. I rushed to my car, I was almost to the door when the sound of wet feet slapping the concrete behind me made me turn around. No one was there, I backed up until I bumped into the car. Popping the lock I hopped in and peeled out of that lot as fast as humanly possible. I drove a few miles up the highway till I found a fleabag motel and got a room for the night. It took forever to fall asleep but when I did it didn’t last long. A loud boom shook the room and startled me out of my sleep, I sat straight up in the bed looking around for a few seconds until I heard someone running followed by another boom as whoever it was slammed into the door of my room again. I grabbed my gun and rushed to get a look, I made it to the window just in time to see a bloody, skinless man thing slam into my door and explode sending wave of blood splattering across the window. They kept coming one at a time until the door finally gave way and they came spilling in. I fired off a full clip every time I shot one of those things they exploded spraying the room with a black viscous fluid that reeked of rotting flesh and when my gun went empty I used it to club the shit out of a few of them before they overran me. I struggled, I fought until I couldn’t fight any more, but there was nothing I could do, they pinned me to the ground and started to regurgitate a flesh colored fluid on me. When they were done they let out a simultaneous roar then fell over dead. Now I say dead because the second they hit the floor they started dissolving into a shit colored nightmare. (So yeah ide say they were dead). But while all this is going on the puke that had me pinned to the floor was getting heavier and starting to move. The instant it oozed off me I sat up gasping for air and the second I did that fucking thing let off a cloud of gas that I took deep into my lungs.
I backed up gagging still gasping for air, every muscle in my body burned then locked up. I was forced to watch the homunculus cannibalize its replicas then take form but it wasn’t complete. It had no hair, its skin was thin and pale it was literally weeping that oily secretion to the point it looked wet. It had no facial features just eyes and a mouth, it started laughing as its skin turned grey and began to shrivel away, a pain shot through my brain as that thing dried up and went silent. All of these replicas were weak they had to combine just to convey a single thought that meant the source body was getting further away this was a distraction. The homunculus needed me to stay put while it made its escape. I tracked that thing for two weeks straight after that, I ended up in Missouri in a little town called Holts Summit. I got into town late one night, I was exhausted so I pulled off the road into a U haul lot on Summit drive and tried to get some rest. I was having the best dream ever only to have it disturbed by the unmistakable sound of a police flashlight tapping against my window. “Is everything ok here sir?” The officer asked while shining his light around in the car. Wiping the sleep from my eyes and taking a deep breath I responded. ”Yeah everything’s fine officer, I’m just tired I’ve been on the road a while.” He looked around the car for a few seconds then asked for my license and went back to his cruiser. After a few minutes he came back and handed me my license. “Ok sir there are a few hotels on 54” he said pointing back over his shoulder. “I suggest you find one of them and get off my streets” he handed my license and walked away. To be honest I was avoiding hotels after what happened last time but a hot shower, a soft bed didn’t sound half bad. Nothing happened that night to be honest nothing happened for the next couple of days but that gave me time to reach out to some of the contacts I made gathering supplies off the dark web. I contacted the guy who sold me the sun stone elixir. Now I’m not gonna lie, this guy creeps me out, he’s not an overly imposing figure he’s actually a short middle aged guy with a shaved head but there’s something about him that makes your skin crawl when you talk to him. The only really strange thing about him is that he insists on being called “Hermes”. Long story short Hermes agreed to meet me at Lake Mykee the next day. When I pulled up he was already there the strange thing was there were no other cars in the lot and I didn’t recall passing any cars on the way in. I parked the car and got out the entire time Hermes kept his back to me as he looked out over the lake, he didn’t react to me being there until I got a few feet away from him, and even then he didn’t turn around he just spoke.” Hello mister Allen, nice meeting with you again.” he hissed still not turning to face me.
“Yeah whatever, can we get this over with? I have a bitch of a headache and I just wanna get back to my room.” He chuckled and finally turned to look at me. “That blood bond is a raw deal isn’t it?” he chuckled again, and I played dumb. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Can I please get what I came here for?” He paused and looked at me then handed me a one liter flask filled with sun stone elixir. “Happy hunting mister Allen.” I handed him the money and walked away, he stood there watching me the whole way to the car with that strange little smirk stretched across his face. I swear I could still see him watching me through the rearview as I drove away.
I needed a plan, I knew from the beginning a gun couldn’t kill the homunculus but I needed to know if I could hurt it and I did. When I chased it into the woods my plan was to get it back under control, but I wasn’t prepared for the replicas in the end I had to shoot it to save my own life, still it taught me something.
In “The book of the crow” it said lead could be used to stop or capture it but it didn’t give the specifics of how. Just a reference to another book.” Tabula Smaragdina” (The Emerald Tablet) but I didn’t have time, I needed a solution. I drove around town brainstorming for a while until I got hungry and pulled in to the first place I saw. It was a little café called Cameron’s seemed, good enough for me. I went in got a table and ordered chicken fried steak, I finished my meal paid the bill then went outside to get in my car. When I get there there’s some greasy ass goth chick sitting on the hood, lighting up a blunt.
“Hey what the fuck are you doing? Get off my car!” She looked at me, hit the blunt and stayed put. “It’s not really your car, now is it Josh?” She let out a cloud of smoke and hopped down, I stepped back and looked around. She chuckled and shook her head.” See you around Mr. Allen” then she hit the blunt again and walked passed me. Something about her tone of voice pissed me off. (Not to mention she knew my name) I turned around in time to see the greasy little skank walk into an alley next to the café. I went after her, she couldn’t have been more than a few steps ahead of me but I swear when I got to the alley she was already at the other end of it, facing me. Now I may not be the fastest person in the world, but there’s no way in hell she could get that far, that fast. She stood there just long enough for me to see her then she walked away. I thought about chasing her, I really did…. for a whole 5 seconds I thought about it. Then I went to my car and drove back to the motel. When I got back to my room I made a few phone calls then practiced drawing transmutation circles for a while. Four hours and 50 sheets of paper later I gave up then downed a fifth of scotch and went to sleep. When I woke up the sun had gone down, I got up and went outside for some fresh air, the second I stepped out the door the faint aroma of urine and copper floated in on the breeze. I stood there scanning the area trying to pinpoint where it could be coming from but there was no one around, the breeze came in from my left so I went back in my room grabbed the sun stone elixir and my gun then headed out. I walked around for a while not really sure what or who I was looking for until I came to a gas station. I think the place was called Kwik run but I’m not sue in any case it isn’t important, I stopped there to grab some smokes and a bottle of water. When I got inside the guy at the register pretty much ignored me till I got to the counter. He put his phone down and looked at me like I had just ruined his night then asked “Will there be anything else?” I looked at his name tag, “Chuck” It took everything in me not to reach out, grab him by the hair and bounce his skull off the counter top a few times instead I took a deep breath and chuckled to myself. “Give me a pack of Marlboro Black 100’s, Chuck.” he shot me a hateful look then turned to get my smokes as he did the lights went out and something slammed into the window on the other side of the store making a wet screeching sound as it was dragged across the glass.
Chuck nearly jumped out of his skin, “What the fuck!” another boom echoed through the store as something hit the glass closest to the register. There at the window was an old woman she was covered in dirt and grime, her hair was a greasy grey tangle of god knows what, she was banging on the window with both hands smearing what looked like shit on the glass the whole while she stared in at us smiling.
She let out a scream and started to beat her head against the glass. “Lock the door, lock the door” Chuck yelled out. I rushed to the door and clicked the locks just as the old woman got there, we were face to face the only thing between us was the shatter proof glass, she pounded on it franticly screaming for a few seconds before she started slamming her head against it again, this time she kept it up until the skin on her face split and she started bleeding.
“Holy shit, this old bitch is crazy!” Chuck grabbed his phone and started franticly calling the police. The old lady stopped, streams of blood now pouring from the gash in her forehead that horrible smile was somehow growing wider, the corners of her mouth now splitting, peeling away revealing more teeth loud wet pops could be heard as her jaws unhinged and her mouth opened unnaturally wide. She brought up her filth covered arm then reached into her own mouth, her body convulsed gagging on her arm before she pulled out a fleshy balloon about the size of a football and raised it over her head. She let out a scream then squeezed it till it popped releasing a wave of black fluid that instantly began melting her skin away. Huge clumps of melting flesh began splattering at her feet as she dissolved into a pool that was starting to move, it oozed through the cracks of the door bringing with it that all too familiar stench of copper and urine.
I pulled my shirt up over my nose and ran for the back of the store, Chuck was standing there petrified, body trembling, tears running down his face, I yelled to him but it was too late the gas hit him. He screamed as every muscle in his body seized then vomited before crumbling to the floor twitching. An almost insane sounding laughter bounced off the walls as the homunculus let off wave after wave of that rancid gas. The next sound I heard was Chuck screaming as the hideous blob began feasting on his flesh within seconds the screaming stopped, a blood covered hand grabbed the counter pulling its body up into view. Its lifeless eyes peeked over the edge of the counter at me, there was something different about the creature now, it seemed almost rabid its movements were spastic and twitchy, it let out a wall rattling roar as it leaped onto the counter and rushed towards me. I pulled my gun and fired two shots into the thing but it wasn’t fazed it kept coming. I reached for the flask of elixir but it was too late the homunculus grabbed me slamming me into the wall forcing me to drop it. Its grip tightened around my neck as it lifted me off the ground growling its face shifted and contorted as it took on the appearance of Thomas. It chuckled and released another cloud of gas, I gagged as bile rushed up into my throat partially from the gas but mostly from seeing that assholes face again.
“Silly little meat thing, why are you here?” it released me sending my body crashing to the floor. The second I hit the ground I gasped for air and instantly regretted it, my body cramped up and I puked all over the floor. The homunculus reached down and swirled a finger around in the warm pool of vomit then tasted it, “Did you really think you could control me? Meat thing.” Somehow I managed to get my body to move, reaching out and grabbing the flask I popped the top off with my thumb. The instant the flask opened the homunculus reacted by letting out a sound that nearly shattered my eardrums, I cringed trying to cover my ears as the creature ran and slammed into the glass until it shattered allowing it to escape into the darkness of the night.
I could hear sirens in the distance, the cops would be here soon I forced myself up off the floor and stumbled away from the gas station. The entire way back to the motel I could hear that cicada like sound echoing through the darkness, something had changed, the homunculus was on its own path and I needed to know why. When I got back to the motel I started researching anything that could force the homunculus to ignore the blood bond, I read for hours then on the last page of the book of the crow there was a small passage that read “Beware the Chimera’s perfume.” There was no way around it I needed to get my hands on “The Emerald tablet” I called everyone I could think of except one (Hermes) and they were all dead ends.
I made the call, the phone rang for a while I honestly hoped he wouldn’t answer, but he did. “Mister Allen I’ve been expecting your call, how may I assist you this evening?” His voice was like sandpaper on my brain I just wanted to get the conversation over with.
“I’m looking for the Emerald tablet do you know where I can get it?” He stayed silent for a second “Why yes I do, but you’re going to have to come to me to get it”…….
 Chapter 4: 
The sound of thunder rumbled in the distance as the first few drops of rain started to fall, Josh stood outside his car at Pettisville Community Park wondering how long this was going to take. A statuesque red head jogged by stopping at a bench to tie her shoe, for a brief second he could have sworn it was Alley, he put the thought out of his mind as he watched her jog away disappearing into the park. “Great ass on that one.” a man’s voice chuckled from behind him. Josh turned around to see a short heavy set man with thinning grey hair, “Didn’t mean to startle you” he said coughing into his hand before wiping it on his shirt and reaching out to shake. Josh stood there looking at him for a second before he finally withdrew his hand, “You must be Josh. Hermes told me to meet you here. I believe I have something you need.” Josh looked the guy over before finally saying anything, “So you’re the nameless one? Seriously? What’s that all about?” the old man chuckled and shook his head “The names Tim, I call myself that when I deal with Hermes because the guy is a bit of a creep and I prefer he doesn’t know my real name.” Josh shook his head slightly laughing to himself wishing he had done the same, “Any way Tim, can we get on with it? How much for the book?” Tim smiled and nodded, “Straight to the point, I like that, it’s already been taken care of pal, meet me at 8, I’ll be at Murphy’s bar in town. Do yourself a favor though, stay away from Hermes the dude is bad news.” With that the old man turned and walked away whistling some strange little tune.
There wasn’t much in Pettisville so finding the bar was pretty easy, Josh got there a little early ordered a drink and took a seat in a corner booth facing the door. About half way through his beer Tim plopped down in the seat across from him placing the book on the table, “Here you go pal, hope it does you some good, God knows it didn’t do shit for me.” Tim laughed then ordered a couple of shots from the bar, “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you need this thing for?”
Josh finished off his beer then took one of the shot’s and downed it before getting up from the table, “None of your fucking business, have a nice night.” He took the book and headed for the door dropping a twenty on the bar as he walked out, he hadn’t been paying much attention but when a horribly familiar stench wafted in on the breeze he realized his head hadn’t hurt since getting to town, the homunculus was here. Josh popped the lock and tossed the book on the front seat looking around the empty street, “Shit” he muttered to himself sliding into the driver’s seat, “Where the hell are you?” He drove around town hoping to spot any signs of the creature, if it was there it had to be feeding so all he had to do was figure out who the homunculus was pretending to be.
He pulled off the road and took the flask of sunstone elixir from the glove box then checked the pistol he kept under the seat, before he could get back on the road red and blue lights lit up the interior of his car as a patrol car pulled up behind him. ”Great” he muttered to himself slowly placing both hands on the steering wheel. “Turn the car off and put your hands out the window, (the officer ordered) now open the door and step out facing away from me, put your hands up and walk backwards towards the sound of my voice then get down on your knees.” Once Josh was cuffed up and placed in the police car the officer began conducting a search of the car, it wasn’t long before he found the flask and the gun. The officer came back and placed both items on the hood of the car then got on the radio but before he could finish the call something came rushing out of the bushes and slammed into him.
The impact rocked the car and sent both the pistol and the flask tumbling to the ground, the struggle only lasted a few seconds then the gut churning sound of tearing flesh and breaking bones cut through the silence. Josh panicked he laid back on the seat and tried kicking out the windows, with each thud of his feet against the glass he could feel his body starting to cramp up, that putrid smell was seeping through the vents filling the car, somewhere in the chaos there was a moment where everything went still. Taking a deep breath Josh mustered what little strength he had left and kicked the window one last time, instead of shattering it came off track and slid halfway down. Struggling for a few seconds he managed to slide the cuffs underneath his legs and bring his hands up in front of him, the instant he sat up the door was violently torn off and he was yanked out of the car…
The homunculus wasn’t pretending to be human, instead its body was an amalgamation of deformities its skin was pale nearly translucent road mapped with thick dark veins. It was almost spiderlike, it walked on four oversized arms using its hands for feet, it didn’t have what you would recognize as a face instead its bulbous misshapen body was covered with eyes and large dagger like teeth hung from its undercarriage. This couldn’t be the source body, it was too small but even the replica’s attempt to take human form, this was insanity, the source had begun creating its own version of life, there was no getting it under control now. Josh scanned the area hoping to lay eyes on the flask but there wasn’t enough time, he had to run, getting to his feet he sprinted toward the only light he could see. There was no way he could outrun that thing it was on him almost instantly, with one swipe it knocked him off his feet and sent him tumbling into the open field next to the road. Josh gasped for air and desperately tried to get back to his feet but another bone rattling blow sent him right back to the ground, a low hissing sound filled the air as that all too familiar coppery funk made his tongue go numb and his eyes roll back in his skull, sirens in the distance almost put a smile on his face just before his body convulsed and everything went black…..
Josh woke up a few hours later in the county jail, he was charged for the stolen rental car (the rental service reported it stolen when it wasn’t returned on time), possession of a firearm and last but not least the murder of Officer Clarke Landry. Needless to say he spent the next several hours having the shit beat out of him by several highly motivated very pissed off police officers, and when they couldn’t get a confession out of him they left him in a battered heap on the floor of his cell.
The next morning he was awakened by a voice he hoped to never hear again, “Hello Mr. Allen.” (Hermes). Josh sat up and spit a glob of blood on the floor, “What are you doing here? Hermy.” The creepy little man looked around Josh’s cell, then narrowed his eyes and frowned, “It’s Hermes, Mr. Allen and I’m here to make you an offer. I will get you out of this little predicament of yours and in return you’ll give control of the homunculus to me.” Josh chuckled to himself “I can’t give you something I don’t have, and besides I’m in here for murder, you can’t get me out of this one doc.” Hermes checked his watch and smirked, “Do we have a deal, or not, Mr. Allen? I don’t have time to argue the details.”
It was a no-brainer, sit in jail for murder or pretend to give this freak what he wanted and walk away a free man, Josh agreed, “Fine, if you can get me out of this, you can have the damn thing, I just hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.” A smirk crept across Hermes face, “I’m glad to see you’re a man of reason Mr. Allen, now let’s get you out of here.” He reached into his pocket and retrieved a small piece of folded tan paper then slid it into Josh’s cell, “Unfold the parchment and place it on the back of your right hand.” The unsettling little smirk on his face sent chills through Josh’s body but if it meant freedom, why not? The instant the parchment hit his skin it dissolved into his flesh, a searing pain rushed up his arm as a glowing blue transmutation circle scorched itself into his skin. Hermes smiled and held up his right hand revealing the exact same symbol on his palm, “You are now bonded to me. This bond cannot be broken, if you run, you die.” he gestured to the officer at the end of the hallway and there was a loud clank as the cell door unlocked…….
There was no paperwork no conversations, they simply walked out of the jail and got into a car that was waiting out front, not a single officer so much as looked in their direction, Josh was blown away at just how simple it was and the second the car door slammed he just had to know.
”What the fuck is going on here? How did you pull that off?” Hermes shook his head “As you would say Mr. Allen, None of your fucking business.” He motioned to the driver, “Take us home please, Lucy.” Josh glanced over at the driver and recognized her instantly, (the Goth girl). It hit him like a ton of bricks, they had been watching this whole time he scratched his chin taking a deep breath and turning to look out of the window. “So what’s the play here, Hermy? Who are you people? Some kind of fucked up cult? A bunch of rich people with a death fetish? Why do you want this thing so bad?” Hermes cleared his throat and scowled, “It’s Hermes, Mr. Allen and since you’re in such a talkative mood, let me ask you a question. Why didn’t you get rid of the creature after it killed Eliza Stuart?”
Josh froze (how did he know that?) “I don’t know” he stumbled through his words “Shit got crazy I wasn’t able to control it, when it finished what I directed it to do, it tried to kill me.” Hermes laughed, “You still don’t get it. The homunculus can’t kill you, you’re its only link to this world, but that won’t stop it from hurting you or driving you crazy enough to kill yourself.” Josh stayed quiet for the rest of the trip, after an hour or so they arrived at a large house on the edge of town and exited the vehicle. Once inside Josh was given fresh clothes and a hot meal, after that he spent the next few hours wondering around the house, it was filled with strange paintings and display cases that looked like something out of a museum. He stopped in front of a large display that only had one thing in it, a glass cylinder. Inside of the cylinder was something Josh knew all too well, it was a homunculus in its blob state, it was clearly dead underdeveloped and misshapen a failed attempt. Hermes voice startled him from behind, “You know what really bothers me? A novice like yourself was able to accomplish what so many skilled practitioners could not. It’s infuriating, I’ve spent years attempting this and failed countless times, yet here you are a no body with the key to our future.”
The tone of his voice made Josh chuckle, “Well Hermy, I don’t know what to tell you, maybe I’m better than you, or maybe you just suck.” Hermes frowned and let out a grunt as he turned to walk away, “Come with me Mr. Allen, it’s time we get started.”….
Over the next few days Josh along with Hermes, Lucy and Tim searched Pettisville for any signs of the homunculus and came up empty until they reached a neighborhood development project run by a man named Pierce. According to him several members of his crew had gone missing and there had been quite a few unexplained deaths since they began construction, but when he mentioned being contacted by Thomas Gentry, Josh knew they were in the right place. The second they were back in the car Josh let the others know, but Hermes didn’t seem all that surprised. According to him they had been watching Peirce for a while on a different issue, but it made complete sense the creature would be drawn there. Josh didn’t bother asking for details, he didn’t care, as long as this was about to be over he was content, they made their plans and agreed to return that night to finish the job.
The plan was simple Hermes would take some of Josh’s blood and mix it with the sunstone elixir then inject himself, once that was done a second syringe would be filled with the combined blood and injected into the homunculus, since the creature couldn’t kill him he would have to be the one to do the injection, the others (Tim and Lucy) would be well armed and act as bait. Once the creature is injected Hermes would break their bond and Josh would be free to go…
The rest of the day flew by and when the sun dropped the hunt was on, Josh didn’t like the idea of getting that close to the creature and the fact that Hermes had never successfully birthed a homunculus was giving him serious doubts about the plan. “Hey Hermy, what makes you think this will work? I mean, your track record makes me feel like this gonna get us all killed. What makes you so sure?” Hermes paused clearly agitated and took a deep breath, “I’m afraid the details might be a bit much for you, Mr. Allen. Just know my technique is second to none.” Josh nodded his head looking over at Tim and Lucy who were strapping on riot gear and loading assault rifles, “Just so were clear here Hermy, no matter what happens once I’ve done my part, I’m out.” Hermes smiled to himself, “Believe me Mr. Allen I’m counting the minutes.”…..
They arrived at the construction site a few hours after sun down, the overpowering stench of urine and copper made it obvious the creature was there but where? There were lot of houses to check, most were still under construction but there were at least one or two homes on each street that were possibly occupied, they would have to check them all. They strapped on their respirators and headed for the first house, the second they stepped into the front yard things went wrong. There was a woman sitting on her porch swing humming a little tune as she gently swayed back and forward, the instant she locked eyes on Josh she jolted to her feet and let out a scream before charging off the porch. Tim was in front and let off a quick burst from his AR-15 dropping her but not stopping her, the second she hit the ground her body convulsed as her bones exploded beneath her skin tearing through flesh that was peeling away in bloody layers as screams became roars. Lucy rushed over and pumped a few more rounds into it but it was too late the alert had been given, more were on the way. Hermes walked over and knelt down to inspect the replica, “Absolutely amazing, you must share your secret with me Mr. Allen, what you have done here is god-like, you sir have a true gift.” Even through the mask he sounded impressed, Tim and Lucy on the other hand weren’t so enthusiastic about the situation.
“We need to get out of the open!” Tim barked out as more figures approached from the far end of the street. Skinless humanoid things emerged from the darkness screaming as they ran full speed towards the group, “What the fuck are those?” Lucy yelled out as she opened fire on the incoming wave of replicas, meanwhile Hermes calmly strolled across the front lawn and vanished into the house. Josh slowly backed away, with Tim and Lucy distracted and Hermes undoubtedly hiding somewhere in that house this was the perfect time to get out of there, he turned and bolted for the car, between the bursts of gunfire he heard Lucy yelling “Shit, he’s running, get back here you asshole!” ignoring the thought of getting shot in the back Josh picked up his pace and sprinted towards the road they came in on, for a second he really thought it would work, until a searing pain surged up his right arm, every muscle in his body contracted and he face planted into the concrete. Josh grunted through clenched teeth and tried to move but he couldn’t, all he could do was lay there listening to the sound of Lucy and Tim catching up to him. “You owe me twenty bucks, sucker. I told you he would run.” Lucy jogged over to Josh and looked down at him, “You really are a fucking scumbag aren’t you?” She dug in his pocket, pulled out a 20 and handed it to Tim, “Now help me get him on his feet so we can get back to Hermes.”…..
Once they were inside the house Josh’s body returned to normal, Tim and Lucy had taken up positions, one watching the street and the other watching the back of the house. Hermes was pacing the floor excitedly, “This is incredible, fully functioning replicants. The source body must be magnificent, you must tell me Mr. Allen how were you able to accomplish this?”
Josh closed his eyes, rubbed his face and chuckled to himself, “I followed the instructions. It’s that simple Hermy, no secret, I did exactly what I was told to do step for step and it worked, the end. I don’t know what you’re waiting to hear.” That look of excitement was replaced with anger, Hermes stopped pacing and held up his right hand making a fist. Pain surged through Josh’s body as a wicked smirk formed on Hermes face, “You will tell me what I want to know, or you will die in this place, Mr. Allen. Now tell me!” he was nearly foaming at the mouth as he yelled. Hermes released his grip and stepped back as Josh collapsed to the floor, “Sooner or later the homunculus will run out of clones and the source body will come for you, and when it does I will be waiting.”
Josh laughed through the pain, “Bullets only work for replicants, dumbass, what do think is gonna happen when it gets here?” Hermes smirked and turned on his heels, “That Mr. Allen, is my little secret.” Tim interrupted from the window “Does anyone else hear that?” the room went silent for a few seconds, then somewhere in the distance they all heard it, a baby crying. “Shit.” Josh muttered as he scrambled up from the floor, “Get away from the windows!” he shouted just before Lucy chimed in from her post near the kitchen, “I got movement over here! Multiple targets moving fast! Holy shit are those babies?….” Lucy was cut short by hundreds of black barbed quills tearing through the house, she screamed in agony as the quills shredded her body armor and lodged in her flesh, the tip of each quill was leaking a thick acidic liquid that was now being pumped into her by the dozen or so spikes that were sticking out of her body. Lucy gurgled and stumbled into the main room with everyone else, her skin was turning purple as massive blisters rapidly erupted all over her body spewing blood and pus, she gasped for air one last time before dropping to her knees and going silent. Distorted child-like cries reverberated through the house as dozens of scouts poured in through the shattered windows, the scouts were about the size of a full grown German Sheppard with the head of a human infant and a body covered in two foot long barbed quills, they walk on all fours but have well defined arms and legs.
A child-like face peeped around the door frame and let out a screech as more of them rushed into the room and piled onto Lucy’s body, Tim opened fire, the reaction was instant, in the blink of an eye dozens of poisonous quills ripped through the room when the scouts exploded. Josh dove for cover behind a couch but Hermes and Tim were standing in the center of the room, they both crumbled to the floor, screaming. Josh himself had been struck by two quills, one was sticking out just below his right hip and the other had torn into his left calf. “Fuck!” he yelled ripping out the first quill from his upper leg, tearing out a nice chunk of flesh in the process, the wound pulsed and throbbed as a warm sensation rolled through his body and the pain faded.
The child-like squeals and wet cracking of bone drifted into the background, the sound of Tim gurgling and gasping for air and Hermes laughing hysterically echoed through the room. He sat up and almost effortlessly removed the second quill, then using the back of the couch Josh pulled himself onto his feet, the scouts were gone. There was a trail of blood leading out the back door, Tim was covered in weeping blisters, a large section of his face had melted away and there were 7 or 8 quills sticking out of his body but somehow he was still breathing. Hermes stopped laughing the second he saw Josh standing, there were quills dug into his flesh and yet he seemed almost calm as that strange little smirk crept back to his face. Josh glanced down in time to see the muzzle flash from a pistol gripped in Hermes hand, his head snapped back as bits of his brain and skull splattered across the wall, Hermes dropped the pistol in his lap and laughed as Josh’s lifeless body crashed to the floor.
Hermes tilted his head back and chuckled to himself as a low hissing sound filled the room, he jolted upright wincing in pain, the overpowering stench of copper and urine filled his lungs, he coughed and gaged, retching from the bile rushing up the back of his throat. His body seized so violently he bit through his own tongue and soiled himself before grinding his teeth until they shattered. Festering blisters rolled across his skin like ripples through water, Hermes screamed praying the world would go black, but it didn’t, from somewhere behind him a door creaked open and a naked woman walked into the house. She had long red hair and pale slick skin, she crossed the room silently and stopped standing over Josh’s body for just a second before turning to Hermes. She slowly walked over to Hermes, knelt in close and whispered into his ear, (her voice a low guttural growl), “I’m so hungry”……………………………….
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2020.09.01 03:44 getyaisha "Tales from Idleberge: The H file 3-4" (Fiction)

“This is Kasey Monroe reporting for channel 3 news. Were here live at Harold Wilson high school the scene of what’s being called one of the most horrific crimes in recent history 43 people were murdered in the building behind me and according to police this could be connected to a string of disappearances in the area we’ll keep you informed as the information comes in. Our hearts go out to the good people of Idleberg, back to you Tom”…. I’d been in the hospital for two weeks and the homunculus hadn’t come back. The whole town was going crazy after what happened at the school, the state police had been called in along with every news station for miles the town was flooded with people from all over.
In a bizarre sort of way this was probably the best thing to ever happen to this shitty little town. All this death brought new life to Idleberg, every business in town was turning a profit, literally bathing in the blood of its fallen brothers and sisters. (Yet another reason to hate this town and everyone in it.) My head had been killing me for the last two days and I didn’t make the connection till I realized no one else had gone missing since the high school, the homunculus was moving away from town. But that didn’t make sense the creature won’t leave an active food source unless it’s compelled to. Something was drawing the homunculus out. I snuck out of the hospital that night and walked home, when I got there I loaded up the rental car and started driving until my head stopped hurting. The first place I came to was a truck stop about 60 miles outside of town, the place was busy so I doubted the creature would be there but my head wasn’t hurting, it had to be close by. I pulled up parked the car and went inside, I ordered a burger and fries with a coke to go, then went outside for a smoke. I stood there for a while watching the traffic roll by I took a long drag off my cigarette, thumped it out then turned to go back inside, everything changed the second I stepped through that door. The air was stale and the room was covered in dust the lights flickered, it looked like no one had been here in years but this place was packed, shaking my head I backed out slowly once I was back outside the building changed to a dilapidated shell, the neon signs now sun bleached, broken and scattered around the empty parking lot. I rushed to my car, I was almost to the door when the sound of wet feet slapping the concrete behind me made me turn around. No one was there, I backed up until I bumped into the car. Popping the lock I hopped in and peeled out of that lot as fast as humanly possible. I drove a few miles up the highway till I found a fleabag motel and got a room for the night. It took forever to fall asleep but when I did it didn’t last long. A loud boom shook the room and startled me out of my sleep, I sat straight up in the bed looking around for a few seconds until I heard someone running followed by another boom as whoever it was slammed into the door of my room again. I grabbed my gun and rushed to get a look, I made it to the window just in time to see a bloody, skinless man thing slam into my door and explode sending wave of blood splattering across the window. They kept coming one at a time until the door finally gave way and they came spilling in. I fired off a full clip every time I shot one of those things they exploded spraying the room with a black viscous fluid that reeked of rotting flesh and when my gun went empty I used it to club the shit out of a few of them before they overran me. I struggled, I fought until I couldn’t fight any more, but there was nothing I could do, they pinned me to the ground and started to regurgitate a flesh colored fluid on me. When they were done they let out a simultaneous roar then fell over dead. Now I say dead because the second they hit the floor they started dissolving into a shit colored nightmare. (So yeah ide say they were dead). But while all this is going on the puke that had me pinned to the floor was getting heavier and starting to move. The instant it oozed off me I sat up gasping for air and the second I did that fucking thing let off a cloud of gas that I took deep into my lungs.
I backed up gagging still gasping for air, every muscle in my body burned then locked up. I was forced to watch the homunculus cannibalize its replicas then take form but it wasn’t complete. It had no hair, its skin was thin and pale it was literally weeping that oily secretion to the point it looked wet. It had no facial features just eyes and a mouth, it started laughing as its skin turned grey and began to shrivel away, a pain shot through my brain as that thing dried up and went silent. All of these replicas were weak they had to combine just to convey a single thought that meant the source body was getting further away this was a distraction. The homunculus needed me to stay put while it made its escape. I tracked that thing for two weeks straight after that, I ended up in Missouri in a little town called Holts Summit. I got into town late one night, I was exhausted so I pulled off the road into a U haul lot on Summit drive and tried to get some rest. I was having the best dream ever only to have it disturbed by the unmistakable sound of a police flashlight tapping against my window. “Is everything ok here sir?” The officer asked while shining his light around in the car. Wiping the sleep from my eyes and taking a deep breath I responded. ”Yeah everything’s fine officer, I’m just tired I’ve been on the road a while.” He looked around the car for a few seconds then asked for my license and went back to his cruiser. After a few minutes he came back and handed me my license. “Ok sir there are a few hotels on 54” he said pointing back over his shoulder. “I suggest you find one of them and get off my streets” he handed my license and walked away. To be honest I was avoiding hotels after what happened last time but a hot shower, a soft bed didn’t sound half bad. Nothing happened that night to be honest nothing happened for the next couple of days but that gave me time to reach out to some of the contacts I made gathering supplies off the dark web. I contacted the guy who sold me the sun stone elixir. Now I’m not gonna lie, this guy creeps me out, he’s not an overly imposing figure he’s actually a short middle aged guy with a shaved head but there’s something about him that makes your skin crawl when you talk to him. The only really strange thing about him is that he insists on being called “Hermes”. Long story short Hermes agreed to meet me at Lake Mykee the next day. When I pulled up he was already there the strange thing was there were no other cars in the lot and I didn’t recall passing any cars on the way in. I parked the car and got out the entire time Hermes kept his back to me as he looked out over the lake, he didn’t react to me being there until I got a few feet away from him, and even then he didn’t turn around he just spoke.” Hello mister Allen, nice meeting with you again.” he hissed still not turning to face me.
“Yeah whatever, can we get this over with? I have a bitch of a headache and I just wanna get back to my room.” He chuckled and finally turned to look at me. “That blood bond is a raw deal isn’t it?” he chuckled again, and I played dumb. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Can I please get what I came here for?” He paused and looked at me then handed me a one liter flask filled with sun stone elixir. “Happy hunting mister Allen.” I handed him the money and walked away, he stood there watching me the whole way to the car with that strange little smirk stretched across his face. I swear I could still see him watching me through the rearview as I drove away.
I needed a plan, I knew from the beginning a gun couldn’t kill the homunculus but I needed to know if I could hurt it and I did. When I chased it into the woods my plan was to get it back under control, but I wasn’t prepared for the replicas in the end I had to shoot it to save my own life, still it taught me something.
In “The book of the crow” it said lead could be used to stop or capture it but it didn’t give the specifics of how. Just a reference to another book.” Tabula Smaragdina” (The Emerald Tablet) but I didn’t have time, I needed a solution. I drove around town brainstorming for a while until I got hungry and pulled in to the first place I saw. It was a little café called Cameron’s seemed, good enough for me. I went in got a table and ordered chicken fried steak, I finished my meal paid the bill then went outside to get in my car. When I get there there’s some greasy ass goth chick sitting on the hood, lighting up a blunt.
“Hey what the fuck are you doing? Get off my car!” She looked at me, hit the blunt and stayed put. “It’s not really your car, now is it Josh?” She let out a cloud of smoke and hopped down, I stepped back and looked around. She chuckled and shook her head.” See you around Mr. Allen” then she hit the blunt again and walked passed me. Something about her tone of voice pissed me off. (Not to mention she knew my name) I turned around in time to see the greasy little skank walk into an alley next to the café. I went after her, she couldn’t have been more than a few steps ahead of me but I swear when I got to the alley she was already at the other end of it, facing me. Now I may not be the fastest person in the world, but there’s no way in hell she could get that far, that fast. She stood there just long enough for me to see her then she walked away. I thought about chasing her, I really did…. for a whole 5 seconds I thought about it. Then I went to my car and drove back to the motel. When I got back to my room I made a few phone calls then practiced drawing transmutation circles for a while. Four hours and 50 sheets of paper later I gave up then downed a fifth of scotch and went to sleep. When I woke up the sun had gone down, I got up and went outside for some fresh air, the second I stepped out the door the faint aroma of urine and copper floated in on the breeze. I stood there scanning the area trying to pinpoint where it could be coming from but there was no one around, the breeze came in from my left so I went back in my room grabbed the sun stone elixir and my gun then headed out. I walked around for a while not really sure what or who I was looking for until I came to a gas station. I think the place was called Kwik run but I’m not sue in any case it isn’t important, I stopped there to grab some smokes and a bottle of water. When I got inside the guy at the register pretty much ignored me till I got to the counter. He put his phone down and looked at me like I had just ruined his night then asked “Will there be anything else?” I looked at his name tag, “Chuck” It took everything in me not to reach out, grab him by the hair and bounce his skull off the counter top a few times instead I took a deep breath and chuckled to myself. “Give me a pack of Marlboro Black 100’s, Chuck.” he shot me a hateful look then turned to get my smokes as he did the lights went out and something slammed into the window on the other side of the store making a wet screeching sound as it was dragged across the glass.
Chuck nearly jumped out of his skin, “What the fuck!” another boom echoed through the store as something hit the glass closest to the register. There at the window was an old woman she was covered in dirt and grime, her hair was a greasy grey tangle of god knows what, she was banging on the window with both hands smearing what looked like shit on the glass the whole while she stared in at us smiling.
She let out a scream and started to beat her head against the glass. “Lock the door, lock the door” Chuck yelled out. I rushed to the door and clicked the locks just as the old woman got there, we were face to face the only thing between us was the shatter proof glass, she pounded on it franticly screaming for a few seconds before she started slamming her head against it again, this time she kept it up until the skin on her face split and she started bleeding.
“Holy shit, this old bitch is crazy!” Chuck grabbed his phone and started franticly calling the police. The old lady stopped, streams of blood now pouring from the gash in her forehead that horrible smile was somehow growing wider, the corners of her mouth now splitting, peeling away revealing more teeth loud wet pops could be heard as her jaws unhinged and her mouth opened unnaturally wide. She brought up her filth covered arm then reached into her own mouth, her body convulsed gagging on her arm before she pulled out a fleshy balloon about the size of a football and raised it over her head. She let out a scream then squeezed it till it popped releasing a wave of black fluid that instantly began melting her skin away. Huge clumps of melting flesh began splattering at her feet as she dissolved into a pool that was starting to move, it oozed through the cracks of the door bringing with it that all too familiar stench of copper and urine.
I pulled my shirt up over my nose and ran for the back of the store, Chuck was standing there petrified, body trembling, tears running down his face, I yelled to him but it was too late the gas hit him. He screamed as every muscle in his body seized then vomited before crumbling to the floor twitching. An almost insane sounding laughter bounced off the walls as the homunculus let off wave after wave of that rancid gas. The next sound I heard was Chuck screaming as the hideous blob began feasting on his flesh within seconds the screaming stopped, a blood covered hand grabbed the counter pulling its body up into view. Its lifeless eyes peeked over the edge of the counter at me, there was something different about the creature now, it seemed almost rabid its movements were spastic and twitchy, it let out a wall rattling roar as it leaped onto the counter and rushed towards me. I pulled my gun and fired two shots into the thing but it wasn’t fazed it kept coming. I reached for the flask of elixir but it was too late the homunculus grabbed me slamming me into the wall forcing me to drop it. Its grip tightened around my neck as it lifted me off the ground growling its face shifted and contorted as it took on the appearance of Thomas. It chuckled and released another cloud of gas, I gagged as bile rushed up into my throat partially from the gas but mostly from seeing that assholes face again.
“Silly little meat thing, why are you here?” it released me sending my body crashing to the floor. The second I hit the ground I gasped for air and instantly regretted it, my body cramped up and I puked all over the floor. The homunculus reached down and swirled a finger around in the warm pool of vomit then tasted it, “Did you really think you could control me? Meat thing.” Somehow I managed to get my body to move, reaching out and grabbing the flask I popped the top off with my thumb. The instant the flask opened the homunculus reacted by letting out a sound that nearly shattered my eardrums, I cringed trying to cover my ears as the creature ran and slammed into the glass until it shattered allowing it to escape into the darkness of the night.
I could hear sirens in the distance, the cops would be here soon I forced myself up off the floor and stumbled away from the gas station. The entire way back to the motel I could hear that cicada like sound echoing through the darkness, something had changed, the homunculus was on its own path and I needed to know why. When I got back to the motel I started researching anything that could force the homunculus to ignore the blood bond, I read for hours then on the last page of the book of the crow there was a small passage that read “Beware the Chimera’s perfume.” There was no way around it I needed to get my hands on “The Emerald tablet” I called everyone I could think of except one (Hermes) and they were all dead ends.
I made the call, the phone rang for a while I honestly hoped he wouldn’t answer, but he did. “Mister Allen I’ve been expecting your call, how may I assist you this evening?” His voice was like sandpaper on my brain I just wanted to get the conversation over with.
“I’m looking for the Emerald tablet do you know where I can get it?” He stayed silent for a second “Why yes I do, but you’re going to have to come to me to get it”…….
 Chapter 4: 
The sound of thunder rumbled in the distance as the first few drops of rain started to fall, Josh stood outside his car at Pettisville Community Park wondering how long this was going to take. A statuesque red head jogged by stopping at a bench to tie her shoe, for a brief second he could have sworn it was Alley, he put the thought out of his mind as he watched her jog away disappearing into the park. “Great ass on that one.” a man’s voice chuckled from behind him. Josh turned around to see a short heavy set man with thinning grey hair, “Didn’t mean to startle you” he said coughing into his hand before wiping it on his shirt and reaching out to shake. Josh stood there looking at him for a second before he finally withdrew his hand, “You must be Josh. Hermes told me to meet you here. I believe I have something you need.” Josh looked the guy over before finally saying anything, “So you’re the nameless one? Seriously? What’s that all about?” the old man chuckled and shook his head “The names Tim, I call myself that when I deal with Hermes because the guy is a bit of a creep and I prefer he doesn’t know my real name.” Josh shook his head slightly laughing to himself wishing he had done the same, “Any way Tim, can we get on with it? How much for the book?” Tim smiled and nodded, “Straight to the point, I like that, it’s already been taken care of pal, meet me at 8, I’ll be at Murphy’s bar in town. Do yourself a favor though, stay away from Hermes the dude is bad news.” With that the old man turned and walked away whistling some strange little tune.
There wasn’t much in Pettisville so finding the bar was pretty easy, Josh got there a little early ordered a drink and took a seat in a corner booth facing the door. About half way through his beer Tim plopped down in the seat across from him placing the book on the table, “Here you go pal, hope it does you some good, God knows it didn’t do shit for me.” Tim laughed then ordered a couple of shots from the bar, “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you need this thing for?”
Josh finished off his beer then took one of the shot’s and downed it before getting up from the table, “None of your fucking business, have a nice night.” He took the book and headed for the door dropping a twenty on the bar as he walked out, he hadn’t been paying much attention but when a horribly familiar stench wafted in on the breeze he realized his head hadn’t hurt since getting to town, the homunculus was here. Josh popped the lock and tossed the book on the front seat looking around the empty street, “Shit” he muttered to himself sliding into the driver’s seat, “Where the hell are you?” He drove around town hoping to spot any signs of the creature, if it was there it had to be feeding so all he had to do was figure out who the homunculus was pretending to be.
He pulled off the road and took the flask of sunstone elixir from the glove box then checked the pistol he kept under the seat, before he could get back on the road red and blue lights lit up the interior of his car as a patrol car pulled up behind him. ”Great” he muttered to himself slowly placing both hands on the steering wheel. “Turn the car off and put your hands out the window, (the officer ordered) now open the door and step out facing away from me, put your hands up and walk backwards towards the sound of my voice then get down on your knees.” Once Josh was cuffed up and placed in the police car the officer began conducting a search of the car, it wasn’t long before he found the flask and the gun. The officer came back and placed both items on the hood of the car then got on the radio but before he could finish the call something came rushing out of the bushes and slammed into him.
The impact rocked the car and sent both the pistol and the flask tumbling to the ground, the struggle only lasted a few seconds then the gut churning sound of tearing flesh and breaking bones cut through the silence. Josh panicked he laid back on the seat and tried kicking out the windows, with each thud of his feet against the glass he could feel his body starting to cramp up, that putrid smell was seeping through the vents filling the car, somewhere in the chaos there was a moment where everything went still. Taking a deep breath Josh mustered what little strength he had left and kicked the window one last time, instead of shattering it came off track and slid halfway down. Struggling for a few seconds he managed to slide the cuffs underneath his legs and bring his hands up in front of him, the instant he sat up the door was violently torn off and he was yanked out of the car…
The homunculus wasn’t pretending to be human, instead its body was an amalgamation of deformities its skin was pale nearly translucent road mapped with thick dark veins. It was almost spiderlike, it walked on four oversized arms using its hands for feet, it didn’t have what you would recognize as a face instead its bulbous misshapen body was covered with eyes and large dagger like teeth hung from its undercarriage. This couldn’t be the source body, it was too small but even the replica’s attempt to take human form, this was insanity, the source had begun creating its own version of life, there was no getting it under control now. Josh scanned the area hoping to lay eyes on the flask but there wasn’t enough time, he had to run, getting to his feet he sprinted toward the only light he could see. There was no way he could outrun that thing it was on him almost instantly, with one swipe it knocked him off his feet and sent him tumbling into the open field next to the road. Josh gasped for air and desperately tried to get back to his feet but another bone rattling blow sent him right back to the ground, a low hissing sound filled the air as that all too familiar coppery funk made his tongue go numb and his eyes roll back in his skull, sirens in the distance almost put a smile on his face just before his body convulsed and everything went black…..
Josh woke up a few hours later in the county jail, he was charged for the stolen rental car (the rental service reported it stolen when it wasn’t returned on time), possession of a firearm and last but not least the murder of Officer Clarke Landry. Needless to say he spent the next several hours having the shit beat out of him by several highly motivated very pissed off police officers, and when they couldn’t get a confession out of him they left him in a battered heap on the floor of his cell.
The next morning he was awakened by a voice he hoped to never hear again, “Hello Mr. Allen.” (Hermes). Josh sat up and spit a glob of blood on the floor, “What are you doing here? Hermy.” The creepy little man looked around Josh’s cell, then narrowed his eyes and frowned, “It’s Hermes, Mr. Allen and I’m here to make you an offer. I will get you out of this little predicament of yours and in return you’ll give control of the homunculus to me.” Josh chuckled to himself “I can’t give you something I don’t have, and besides I’m in here for murder, you can’t get me out of this one doc.” Hermes checked his watch and smirked, “Do we have a deal, or not, Mr. Allen? I don’t have time to argue the details.”
It was a no-brainer, sit in jail for murder or pretend to give this freak what he wanted and walk away a free man, Josh agreed, “Fine, if you can get me out of this, you can have the damn thing, I just hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.” A smirk crept across Hermes face, “I’m glad to see you’re a man of reason Mr. Allen, now let’s get you out of here.” He reached into his pocket and retrieved a small piece of folded tan paper then slid it into Josh’s cell, “Unfold the parchment and place it on the back of your right hand.” The unsettling little smirk on his face sent chills through Josh’s body but if it meant freedom, why not? The instant the parchment hit his skin it dissolved into his flesh, a searing pain rushed up his arm as a glowing blue transmutation circle scorched itself into his skin. Hermes smiled and held up his right hand revealing the exact same symbol on his palm, “You are now bonded to me. This bond cannot be broken, if you run, you die.” he gestured to the officer at the end of the hallway and there was a loud clank as the cell door unlocked…….
There was no paperwork no conversations, they simply walked out of the jail and got into a car that was waiting out front, not a single officer so much as looked in their direction, Josh was blown away at just how simple it was and the second the car door slammed he just had to know.
”What the fuck is going on here? How did you pull that off?” Hermes shook his head “As you would say Mr. Allen, None of your fucking business.” He motioned to the driver, “Take us home please, Lucy.” Josh glanced over at the driver and recognized her instantly, (the Goth girl). It hit him like a ton of bricks, they had been watching this whole time he scratched his chin taking a deep breath and turning to look out of the window. “So what’s the play here, Hermy? Who are you people? Some kind of fucked up cult? A bunch of rich people with a death fetish? Why do you want this thing so bad?” Hermes cleared his throat and scowled, “It’s Hermes, Mr. Allen and since you’re in such a talkative mood, let me ask you a question. Why didn’t you get rid of the creature after it killed Eliza Stuart?”
Josh froze (how did he know that?) “I don’t know” he stumbled through his words “Shit got crazy I wasn’t able to control it, when it finished what I directed it to do, it tried to kill me.” Hermes laughed, “You still don’t get it. The homunculus can’t kill you, you’re its only link to this world, but that won’t stop it from hurting you or driving you crazy enough to kill yourself.” Josh stayed quiet for the rest of the trip, after an hour or so they arrived at a large house on the edge of town and exited the vehicle. Once inside Josh was given fresh clothes and a hot meal, after that he spent the next few hours wondering around the house, it was filled with strange paintings and display cases that looked like something out of a museum. He stopped in front of a large display that only had one thing in it, a glass cylinder. Inside of the cylinder was something Josh knew all too well, it was a homunculus in its blob state, it was clearly dead underdeveloped and misshapen a failed attempt. Hermes voice startled him from behind, “You know what really bothers me? A novice like yourself was able to accomplish what so many skilled practitioners could not. It’s infuriating, I’ve spent years attempting this and failed countless times, yet here you are a no body with the key to our future.”
The tone of his voice made Josh chuckle, “Well Hermy, I don’t know what to tell you, maybe I’m better than you, or maybe you just suck.” Hermes frowned and let out a grunt as he turned to walk away, “Come with me Mr. Allen, it’s time we get started.”….
Over the next few days Josh along with Hermes, Lucy and Tim searched Pettisville for any signs of the homunculus and came up empty until they reached a neighborhood development project run by a man named Pierce. According to him several members of his crew had gone missing and there had been quite a few unexplained deaths since they began construction, but when he mentioned being contacted by Thomas Gentry, Josh knew they were in the right place. The second they were back in the car Josh let the others know, but Hermes didn’t seem all that surprised. According to him they had been watching Peirce for a while on a different issue, but it made complete sense the creature would be drawn there. Josh didn’t bother asking for details, he didn’t care, as long as this was about to be over he was content, they made their plans and agreed to return that night to finish the job.
The plan was simple Hermes would take some of Josh’s blood and mix it with the sunstone elixir then inject himself, once that was done a second syringe would be filled with the combined blood and injected into the homunculus, since the creature couldn’t kill him he would have to be the one to do the injection, the others (Tim and Lucy) would be well armed and act as bait. Once the creature is injected Hermes would break their bond and Josh would be free to go…
The rest of the day flew by and when the sun dropped the hunt was on, Josh didn’t like the idea of getting that close to the creature and the fact that Hermes had never successfully birthed a homunculus was giving him serious doubts about the plan. “Hey Hermy, what makes you think this will work? I mean, your track record makes me feel like this gonna get us all killed. What makes you so sure?” Hermes paused clearly agitated and took a deep breath, “I’m afraid the details might be a bit much for you, Mr. Allen. Just know my technique is second to none.” Josh nodded his head looking over at Tim and Lucy who were strapping on riot gear and loading assault rifles, “Just so were clear here Hermy, no matter what happens once I’ve done my part, I’m out.” Hermes smiled to himself, “Believe me Mr. Allen I’m counting the minutes.”…..
They arrived at the construction site a few hours after sun down, the overpowering stench of urine and copper made it obvious the creature was there but where? There were lot of houses to check, most were still under construction but there were at least one or two homes on each street that were possibly occupied, they would have to check them all. They strapped on their respirators and headed for the first house, the second they stepped into the front yard things went wrong. There was a woman sitting on her porch swing humming a little tune as she gently swayed back and forward, the instant she locked eyes on Josh she jolted to her feet and let out a scream before charging off the porch. Tim was in front and let off a quick burst from his AR-15 dropping her but not stopping her, the second she hit the ground her body convulsed as her bones exploded beneath her skin tearing through flesh that was peeling away in bloody layers as screams became roars. Lucy rushed over and pumped a few more rounds into it but it was too late the alert had been given, more were on the way. Hermes walked over and knelt down to inspect the replica, “Absolutely amazing, you must share your secret with me Mr. Allen, what you have done here is god-like, you sir have a true gift.” Even through the mask he sounded impressed, Tim and Lucy on the other hand weren’t so enthusiastic about the situation.
“We need to get out of the open!” Tim barked out as more figures approached from the far end of the street. Skinless humanoid things emerged from the darkness screaming as they ran full speed towards the group, “What the fuck are those?” Lucy yelled out as she opened fire on the incoming wave of replicas, meanwhile Hermes calmly strolled across the front lawn and vanished into the house. Josh slowly backed away, with Tim and Lucy distracted and Hermes undoubtedly hiding somewhere in that house this was the perfect time to get out of there, he turned and bolted for the car, between the bursts of gunfire he heard Lucy yelling “Shit, he’s running, get back here you asshole!” ignoring the thought of getting shot in the back Josh picked up his pace and sprinted towards the road they came in on, for a second he really thought it would work, until a searing pain surged up his right arm, every muscle in his body contracted and he face planted into the concrete. Josh grunted through clenched teeth and tried to move but he couldn’t, all he could do was lay there listening to the sound of Lucy and Tim catching up to him. “You owe me twenty bucks, sucker. I told you he would run.” Lucy jogged over to Josh and looked down at him, “You really are a fucking scumbag aren’t you?” She dug in his pocket, pulled out a 20 and handed it to Tim, “Now help me get him on his feet so we can get back to Hermes.”…..
Once they were inside the house Josh’s body returned to normal, Tim and Lucy had taken up positions, one watching the street and the other watching the back of the house. Hermes was pacing the floor excitedly, “This is incredible, fully functioning replicants. The source body must be magnificent, you must tell me Mr. Allen how were you able to accomplish this?”
Josh closed his eyes, rubbed his face and chuckled to himself, “I followed the instructions. It’s that simple Hermy, no secret, I did exactly what I was told to do step for step and it worked, the end. I don’t know what you’re waiting to hear.” That look of excitement was replaced with anger, Hermes stopped pacing and held up his right hand making a fist. Pain surged through Josh’s body as a wicked smirk formed on Hermes face, “You will tell me what I want to know, or you will die in this place, Mr. Allen. Now tell me!” he was nearly foaming at the mouth as he yelled. Hermes released his grip and stepped back as Josh collapsed to the floor, “Sooner or later the homunculus will run out of clones and the source body will come for you, and when it does I will be waiting.”
Josh laughed through the pain, “Bullets only work for replicants, dumbass, what do think is gonna happen when it gets here?” Hermes smirked and turned on his heels, “That Mr. Allen, is my little secret.” Tim interrupted from the window “Does anyone else hear that?” the room went silent for a few seconds, then somewhere in the distance they all heard it, a baby crying. “Shit.” Josh muttered as he scrambled up from the floor, “Get away from the windows!” he shouted just before Lucy chimed in from her post near the kitchen, “I got movement over here! Multiple targets moving fast! Holy shit are those babies?….” Lucy was cut short by hundreds of black barbed quills tearing through the house, she screamed in agony as the quills shredded her body armor and lodged in her flesh, the tip of each quill was leaking a thick acidic liquid that was now being pumped into her by the dozen or so spikes that were sticking out of her body. Lucy gurgled and stumbled into the main room with everyone else, her skin was turning purple as massive blisters rapidly erupted all over her body spewing blood and pus, she gasped for air one last time before dropping to her knees and going silent. Distorted child-like cries reverberated through the house as dozens of scouts poured in through the shattered windows, the scouts were about the size of a full grown German Sheppard with the head of a human infant and a body covered in two foot long barbed quills, they walk on all fours but have well defined arms and legs.
A child-like face peeped around the door frame and let out a screech as more of them rushed into the room and piled onto Lucy’s body, Tim opened fire, the reaction was instant, in the blink of an eye dozens of poisonous quills ripped through the room when the scouts exploded. Josh dove for cover behind a couch but Hermes and Tim were standing in the center of the room, they both crumbled to the floor, screaming. Josh himself had been struck by two quills, one was sticking out just below his right hip and the other had torn into his left calf. “Fuck!” he yelled ripping out the first quill from his upper leg, tearing out a nice chunk of flesh in the process, the wound pulsed and throbbed as a warm sensation rolled through his body and the pain faded.
The child-like squeals and wet cracking of bone drifted into the background, the sound of Tim gurgling and gasping for air and Hermes laughing hysterically echoed through the room. He sat up and almost effortlessly removed the second quill, then using the back of the couch Josh pulled himself onto his feet, the scouts were gone. There was a trail of blood leading out the back door, Tim was covered in weeping blisters, a large section of his face had melted away and there were 7 or 8 quills sticking out of his body but somehow he was still breathing. Hermes stopped laughing the second he saw Josh standing, there were quills dug into his flesh and yet he seemed almost calm as that strange little smirk crept back to his face. Josh glanced down in time to see the muzzle flash from a pistol gripped in Hermes hand, his head snapped back as bits of his brain and skull splattered across the wall, Hermes dropped the pistol in his lap and laughed as Josh’s lifeless body crashed to the floor.
Hermes tilted his head back and chuckled to himself as a low hissing sound filled the room, he jolted upright wincing in pain, the overpowering stench of copper and urine filled his lungs, he coughed and gaged, retching from the bile rushing up the back of his throat. His body seized so violently he bit through his own tongue and soiled himself before grinding his teeth until they shattered. Festering blisters rolled across his skin like ripples through water, Hermes screamed praying the world would go black, but it didn’t, from somewhere behind him a door creaked open and a naked woman walked into the house. She had long red hair and pale slick skin, she crossed the room silently and stopped standing over Josh’s body for just a second before turning to Hermes. She slowly walked over to Hermes, knelt in close and whispered into his ear, (her voice a low guttural growl), “I’m so hungry”……………………
submitted by getyaisha to RyizineReads [link] [comments]


2020.08.29 23:03 AustralianChrono Virtual Drag Race All Stars 4: Episode 8- Redemption Week

Virtual Drag Race All Stars 4: Episode 8- Redemption Week
Yana Yak jumps around, giving her country flair as she backbends and gives alllll the theatrics. She's fun, she's over the top and you can feel the fire Yana has to stay. But Seondeok has brightened up, and quickly- she's energetic, she's powerful and then she switches to the dramatic; the fiery as she leans into the passions of the song. It all reaches its climax as Seondeok lights up her dress to reveal a glistening bodysuit underneath. She's on fire!
Seondeok, Shantay you stay.
"Thank you so much." Seondeok smiles.
Seondeok: "I survived my first lip sync for my life this season... something I didn't on my original season. It feels incredible."
Yana Yak, you've proven to us there was so much more to you then that quiet Queen on your original season with a star inside... and i'm so proud. Now, I have to say... Sashay Away...
"It's been incredible to come back, be here... and show... i'm a superstar. So... Thank you." Yana smiles.
Yana Yak: "I'm happy. 3 wins... 10 years ago, when I left this show, I felt empty. Like i'd fucked it all up. And now... i'm here." Yana grins. "The best."
Lipstick Message: "THE AGE OF THE YAK NEVER ENDS!"
~
https://preview.redd.it/ckhk4aqo5xj51.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=058060f5bd92a44aa808503feed951356a996973
The Monarch's enter the werkroom.
"My sister is gone..." Priya exhales.
"She fought well, and she fought HARD." Slayla nods. "She deserved it.."
"Agreed." Cheyenne nods,
"On the topic of fighting..." Seondeok turns to Cheyenne. "Someone had some statements to make last night."
"What you said took balls." Slayla looks at Cheyenne. "I think.. you can change a perspective with that."
"I think that some people have the mentality- that's old school. They think they can do one thing, and they've- educated or not, eventually got into a whole politically that, whilst they identify as liberal..." Cheyenne shrugs. "They're quickly becoming outdated."
"I agree with you." Priya nods. "If we're not here to become revolutionaries, to be the best of the best and reflect that... there's no point."
"Drag is political." Seondeok smiles. "And we all are reflective of that. In Korea, the Drag Community invented the term... Peulaideu Wolieo for ourselves. We are... Pride Warriors."
"Pride Warriors..." Priya smirks. "I love that."
"To being Pride Warriors!" Slayla raises her drink in the air.
~
The Top 4 all sit together in the werkroom.
"Final Challenge..." Slayla cracks her knuckles. "How are we all feeling?"
"Excited..." Cheyenne grins.
"Determined." Seondeok smiles.
"Ready." Priya smirks.
YOU'VE GOT RU-MAIL!
R-E-D-E-M-P-I-T-I-ON. You know it!
"Oh yes..." Seondeok smiles.
HELLO HELLO HELLO!
Are you all ready for our final maxi challenge?
"YES!" The top 4 all yell.
For this weeks maxi challenge... It is REDEMPTION WEEK. You will be working together with the people you lost to respectively in a lip sync performance, to a song from the same artist.. creating a performance that will wow us and then walking the runway in your redemption best, re-doing a look from YOUR original season.
Seondeok: "This is a season of redemption for me, and this is the best challenge for me to prove myself. I am not the Seondeok of Season 7.... and I can't wait to show it." Seon grins.
Crystal Queery Glass, Melanie Minaj, Miss Belle and Dixie Normous all strut out.
"You ladies asked for a show?" Dixie smiles.
~
"AHH!" Crystal screams. "Slayla, for us two to be here, doing something together..."
"It's freaking fantastic, yes." Slayla grins. "As both of us are... well trained performers."
"Trying to remember what number remix this is for me.." Crystal laughs.
"I think we go over the top. Extra, Dramatic... Pull Out Every Single Move In The Book." Slayla smirks. "I want to his this finale like a home run."
"Well... then let's prepare." Crystal cheers. "Oh, this is is damn exciting!"
~
"Miss Belle, you look stunning tonight." Cheyenne smiles.
"Oh, thank yew sister!" Miss Belle goes in for a hug. "It's been far too long!"
"I really feel this is the weak to prove myself from a strong emotional point of view. I have a lot to prove. I only have 1 win.. and despite the fact I've never lip synced, I still feel... like a dark horse."
"So, what are we going to do to get you that win?" Miss Belle winks.
"Powerful. I want a song with a message, and something that has gravitas and strength. Because that is my drag." Cheyenne grins.
"You can move... mountains." Miss Belle looks at Cheyenne.
"That's exactly it." Cheyenne grins.
~
"Oh Miss Minaj..." Seondeok smiles. "Are you ready for a show?"
"Girl." Melanie looks at Seondeok. "Of course. I'm ready every day, 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Are you?"
"Hell yes!" Seondeok yells. "I'm so pumped. I want to give them every beat, every moment and STOMP this performance."
"Then we gotta go all out. I have a few moves that I could teach you.." Melanie looks at Seondeok. "If you're up for it... we can win this."
"Bring it on." Seon grins.
"Seon..." Melanie smiles. "4 years ago, I saw this... shy ass little Queen. And now, this confidence..." Melanie grins. "It's freaking amazing."
"If you can't love yourself... how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" Seondeok winks.
"Can I get an amen up in here?!" Melanie laughs in response.
~
"Dixie, how is the life of a... Winner Treating you?" Priya smiles.
"Well... I've been able to tour the world, through creating my own 10 Queen Mega International Tour... and recently opening my own dance studio.." Dixie winks. "With a show on netflix coming soon... It's been good. But... more importantly... How are you? I know the end of Season 9.."
"Was a lot for me to process, yes." Priya Tigress exhales.
Priya Tigress: "When me and Dixie sat together to react live to the season 9 crowning, I thought I had it. Honest to God, I was of the belief I was the best. And then, when I lost... I kinda crumbled."
~Footage of Priya sobbing as Dixie cheers as she wins~
"I did feel really bad in that moment." Dixie sighs. "I was so happy for me, but clearly this is something you really, really wanted and... I didn't know how to manage those emotions."
"I needed space, and time. My Drag was not truly at the level..." Priya exhales. "As much as I like to admit it was.. at the time. I needed time to level up... so I could win All Stars. If anyone was to win against me..." Priya looks at Dixie. "I'm happy it was you."
"Thank you." Dixie smiles. "I just... I worried I ruined a friendship."
"I was the one who ruined it. But I promise, sister.." Priya smiles, and a tear falls down her cheek. "I won't lose it again."
"Now let's dominate this challenge, right?" Dixie grins.
Slayla Cool: "This moment is cool and all... but... do we believe Priya?" Slayla looks into the camera. I don't know about that one..."
~
The Queens give their Top 5 Performances:
  1. Slayla Cool and Crystal Queerly Glass - 'Money, Money, Money' from ABBA
  2. Seondeok and Melanie Minaj - 'Victorious' from Panic! At the Disco
  3. Cheyenne and Miss Belle - 'Move Mountains' from Carole & Tuesday
  4. Priya Tigress and Dixie Normous - 'King Of Anything' from Sara Bareilles
And give their redemption runway looks:
  1. Slayla Cool - Mellow Yellow
  2. Seondeok - Pure Goth
  3. Cheyenne - Robotic
  4. Priya Tigress - Ancient Drag
~
Who wins?
Spreadsheet
submitted by AustralianChrono to RPDRfantasyseason [link] [comments]


2020.08.27 23:25 Shiromifeari [TD] Island of Challenges: Episode 9

Previously, on Island of Challenges...
Campers traveled through the sea on a rowing adventure to reach the elusive Sagebay Island! Which is actually just a few kilometers away, only to then return safe and sound to Kona. After a burning explosion that trapped the Mouses on Sagebay for an arduously long period of time, the Snarky Sharks’ win was more than inevitable!
Still, doesn’t matter how many times they win, like their name implies, these Sharks are just starving for conflict! We got quite the meaty stirrups, with close allies Sammy and Angelina and not close at all teammates Pratyush and Don releasing all the punches in arguments that started for pretty petty reasons when you stop to think about it.
On the Mouses, Dylan starts emerging, albeit for the wrong reasons, Sass, after feeling like she’s in a position of power, chooses to believe her team would be smart enough to vote off Kaity, the person who caused their loss in the first place. The cooky girl would have never seen it coming... had Annika not decided to commit one of the cardinal sins of this show, telling Kaity to her face that she would be eliminated that night. With this new information in mind, our weirdo hero set out to save herself, after getting Violet and Ian on board with the idea of voting Annika, Surf was not so sure of what he wanted to do, leading him to decide his vote based on a coin toss...
In another unexpected power shift, Annika is taken out of the competition in a 4-3-1 vote, how unfortunate, seems like by chance, luck was not on her side today! Even though it’s on her for opening her mouth when she shouldn’t have, it’s still a very crappy way to go.
Kaity narrowly survived the vote, but is she in the clear yet? What is Dylan up to? Disregarding everything but odds, each team has a 50/50 chance of winning the next challenge, will the Mouses pull through? And with 15 victims left, whose luck is going to run out next?
Find out the answers to all these questions now! On ISLAND... OF... CHALLENGES!
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Episode 9: DAYUM

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Current Status:
Snarky Sharks: Angelina, Don, King, Logan, Pratyush, Sammy, Taylor and The Syncopation
Mellow Mouses: Dylan, Flik, Ian, Kaity, Surf, Sass and Violet
—————
The Mouses are seen returning from the Campfire Ceremony. A faint smoke smell lingered in their air, while helicopters could be seen flying towards Sagebay and its growing fire, hopefully it would be put out by the morning.
Dylan comes over to Sass, who was pissed at the fact she had been outplayed again... little did she know, he may have a proposition she would not want to pass on. He says straight to her face he voted for her, but now wants to align with her, Sass is confused, she thought they were allies before, and then questions if he’s the one who’s been throwing stray votes at her, he dismisses her question, making her even more mad, and gets to the point. Dylan says everyone has been sleeping on him, before throwing a glance at the camera, and now it’s time people understand to not underestimate him, she questions his motives... but it doesn’t seem like he’s lying, nor does she have other reliable options after all the bridges she’s destroyed, so that may be her best bet. Dylan extends his hand to confirm their allegiance, but Sass slaps it away instead, and comments that this is only strategy, she leaves, still questioning what the hell happened there. Dylan hears the sound of a twig snapping, he turns to the location of the sound and walks towards it... there’s no one there, and if there was, they had already gotten away.
At the female side of the cabin, Violet finds Flik sniffling on her bed, the goth decides to give her space, as it is normally what she would want in that state, however, she’s surprised when Flik asks her for a hug. It’s a little awkward at first, but the bimbo eventually calms down, Violet apologizes for voting out Annika, and Flik states she can’t blame her, she is mildly aware of the team dynamics, but it still sucks, because Annika was a good friend of hers, and now that she’s gone, she’ll have to face her family again. The blonde thanks the goth for comforting her... and Violet says it’s no problem, but questions why Sass isn’t the one doing this, since they’re allegedly best friends. Flik dismisses her and says it’s not like that, but once she’s left be... she actually starts considering Violet’s question a tad bit more.
On the beach, Surf is seen burying ants in the sand, giggling at their persistence to stay on the surface, he is scared by Kaity, who popped up in front of him without him noticing. She thanks him for saving her at the vote, adding that for a second she really felt like she was going to be eliminated, he rubs the back of his neck and brushes it off somewhat embarrassed, because his vote did come down to the flip of a coin, though of course he wasn’t telling her that. Kaity notices what Surf is doing, and decides to go wild, she suggests building a sand castle for the ants, let them live on it, only to then destroy it in a few days! He LOVES the idea, they immediately proceed to build a massive sand castle on the beach, but then part ways to go to sleep after it’s finished, as it was already past midnight by the time they finished.
—————
Confessionals:
Ian: I cannot believe this! (he buries his face in his hands) I thought Dylan was sketchy, but I never imagined he would go this far! I was taking a jog on the forest before going to bed, and there I find him trying to get good with Sass! What is he even doing at this point...? Well, now I know another person to keep an eye on...
Surf: Man! Yesterday was crazy, but I finally got another thing off my bucket list! (He crosses off “make an important decision with a coin toss”). What could I do next? Honestly I don’t know, so many things could happen still... (He throws the paper out the window), maybe I should just go with the flow! Wait, where did my my list go?
Dylan: What am I doing? Honestly even I am not sure, I’m trying to do this for my family... but I feel like a chaos is needed around here, just because. Or maybe it’s my temper issues acting up, dunno, I’m just tired of staying in the background, it’s time to show everyone who Dylan really is.
Flik: Violin does has a dot... when I thing abound it, Saucy nevada was here four me, have she been gaming me? If that’s the story... DAYUM! She snort! I’ll gibbons this a tad bite less time after I jump to confusions though.
—————
A few days later, the teams rejoice in front of the forest for yet another mandatory challenge, It was a hot day, so it was nice to be in an area where the sun is covered by trees. The host rolls into view, wearing a protective suit and holding a sniper, everyone immediately begins to run in fear, however, they’re stopped by production. The host wipes some sweat off his forehead before beginning to explain the challenge:
“Calm down you scaredy cats! This is just a paintball gun!”
A collective chorus of “ohs” can be heard in the background, he continues:
“This is what you guys will be doing today, a hunting game! You will be randomly divided into two roles, hunters and deer. The hunters must kill the deer of the opposite team with paintball guns, while the deer must evade the opposing hunters. If you get shot, you’re out, the last team with deer still alive wins invincibility! And a reward that is essential in a hot day like this... icesuckles!”
He points to Helga, who was preparing icesuckles on a tent nearby, before putting them in a fridge, she then zips it shut so everybody would stop looking. The host tosses guns to Angelina, King, Pratyush and Taylor, while Don, Logan, The Syncopation and Sammy get antlers, as such determining the roles for the Sharks. Sass, Dylan and Flik are told they are hunters, leaving Surf, Ian, Kaity and Violet to be the deer of the Mouses, since they have one less member, they also have one less hunter.
After everyone puts on their gear and protective goggles, the deers are allowed to run away... after 5 minutes, a horn blares through the island indicating it’s time for the hunters to seek their prey, and as such, the games begin.
—————
Confessionals:
Angelina: Thank god I’m not wearing those antlers and fake tails! They look like they’re part of costumes you see in weird furry videos... (she realizes what she just said). N-not that I am one! I just love trashing them on my channel, they’re an easy target to bash and get views, I mean c’mon, who actually likes those things?
Pratyush: This takes me back to a time where I was younger... my dad took me to play in a paintball match with a bunch of adults, and I actually came out on top! (He stretches his neck), this is another challenge I know I’m going to excel in!
Kaity: Gosh darn it! I wish I was one of the hunters, I have lots of... experience on the subject of tracking down my victims, I could have been a massive help for my team. It’s also way more fun to be the one doing the chasing! But it’s ok, I know a few good hiding spots around the island...
—————
Flik strolls the forest without much of a thought on her head, she starts playing with her gun, and accidentally pulls the trigger! A paintball flies towards a bush, and hits it. To her surprise, Logan pops out of said bush, he starts asking her how did she know he was hiding in there, and she brushes it off, saying confidently that she’s just that smart, when in reality it was a pure accident.
Remaining: 3 Sharks 4 Mouses
Taylor hears noises up above, she looks at the tree branches and finds Violet trying to balance herself in one of them! Once noticed, the goth starts fleeing, but she’s shot by the model before being able to fully get away. After sliding down the tree, Violet compliments Taylor’s aiming, which causes her to get embarrassed from the flattery for once.
Remaining: 3 Sharks 3 Mouses
Pratyush runs down a trail in a attempt to find targets more quickly, and comes across a small river, the current didn’t seem strong, so he decides to cross it. While on the water, he sees a gigantic shadow underwater approaching! He shoots it in fear, the creature emerges from the water... And it was just Kaity, she whines about her hiding spot being discovered so easily. But Pratyush has no time for that, he leaves to look for more deer to catch.
Remaining: 3 Sharks 2 Mouses
King stumbles onto Ian, who was having problems with his deer attire, it was too small for him. While the party animal would normally feel bad, as he checks him out, he notices how similar Ian is to him in appearance, the same hair and jacket, the same style and “cool” attitude... it rubs him the wrong way, enough for him to shoot at the jock without realizing. Once King notices what he did, he profusely apologizes to Ian, which leaves him confused, since he’s apologizing for... doing the challenge?
Remaining: 3 Sharks 1 Mouse
It was all down to Surf, whether or not his team would lose again all fell on his shoulders, he of course wasn’t aware of that, but he could feel it to some extent. As he walks down the forest, he comes across...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...Pratyush! Who shoots him the moment he comes into view.
Through the speakers, the Sharks are announced as the winners! Pratyush comes back to find the Mouses completely soaked in paint, even their hunters, seems like they got into a bit of an argument. Icesuckles are handed to the winners, except the 3 deer who did not get caught, they were all mysteriously missing. The host congratulates and dismisses the Sharks, and then turns to the Mouses, and advises them to take baths, because they may have to get dirty if they want to survive the campfire ceremony tonight.
—————
Angelina, Logan, Pratyush and King all enjoyed their icesuckles at the respective spots they were hanging out in, the same could not be said for Taylor though, she was curious as to why The Syncopation, Sammy or Don haven’t made a single appearance since the beginning of the day. She takes the opportunity of everyone being alone minding their own business to look around the island for said missing deer.
It takes a long time until she stumbles onto something, she finds Sync hiding behind a trunk... presumably trying to not be found? She approaches him, making him jump, once he sees her, he breathes in relief, but adds that she almost gave him a heart attack. She asks what he’s looking at, and he points to a cave nearby, there were Don and Sammy, they still wore their deer outfits, implying they didn’t hear the announcement that the challenge was over. She questions if he’s that lonely to be stalking a couple, making him he rolls his eyes, call her an idiot and say that’s not what he’s doing, Don has been venting about some pretty interesting stuff... he urges her to watch it with him, which she eagerly does.
Sammy is seen massaging Don’s back while he opens up about the stress he has gained from the competition, he didn’t expect to be interacting with so many people, but given how nasty some of them are, it makes him get worked up easily, he especially highlights The Syncopation, which makes the rocker scoff. Sammy tries to joke that it hasn’t been all bad, and Don agrees, because he got to meet her, he turns to look at her, and sees her bright smile, making a goofy grin pop up on his face, they hug, and stay like that for a while before breaking apart. She comments she gets where he’s coming from, adding she heard things from someone that makes her believe one of their teammates isn’t being exactly truthful about their personality. When he asks her who she’s talking about, she says with confidence... “Taylor”.
The Syncopation didn’t think much of what was said, but it all changes when he sees Taylor looking at him with a mixture of anger, confusion and disgust. In her head, the model really thought he was joking about the blackmail... she guessed wrong, even when she didn’t “disobey” him, he went out of his way to tell Sammy that she was faking her personality... so what was the point!? To play with her emotions!? All she could do was storm off, because the one rational part of her brain still active made her remember getting caught eavesdropping would not bode well for her. Sync is befuddled at the model’s actions, but then looks back at what had been said, he gets to the same conclusion Taylor did, and tries to catch up to her, however, what happens next is not caught on camera, instead, the focus is kept on Don and Sammy. Don asks her where did she get that information from, and she responds that Pratyush was the one who helped her come to that idea...
—————
Confessionals:
Don: I’m glad I can count of Sammy, she’s such a ray of sunshine wherever she goes. And she’s super useful! Never would I have imagined Taylor would be faking being dumb for strategic purposes... (He scratches his chin) I may have to talk to Pratyush later myself, if he wants anything to do with me after our fight that is...
Logan: We keep our winning streak going! That’s how I like it! It’s weird how despite the rarity of us getting along, we still pull through almost any obstacle given. My dad once told me a team can only work if they can put their differences aside for the greater good, and I guess the greater good here is the million dollars, I mean, we all want it!
Sammy: I have been getting more and more involved in this game in a way that feels... dirty, still, I think I have been getting my groove back! I don’t believe I would have bounced from my previous position had I not been trying as hard as right now. There’s still a lot to be done, but I think I’m on the right track!
King: I feel like a trainwreck going off the rails, I can’t seem to grasp the concept of being a nice guy... something always happens that makes my nastier side come out! I mean, I shot Ian because we have a similar vibe! How shallow is that!? (He passes a hand through his hair in frustration) Am I just destined to be a villain?
—————
Another loss was in place for the Mouses, as they faced their next elimination, the knowledge of what had to be done was fresh on their minds, as well as the smell of paint. The hope of beating the Sharks one day however... seemed to grow lesser after every defeat.
After everyone had taken baths, Sass reunites Flik and Dylan, and asks the latter what they should do, because they were at a numbers disadvantage as far as she recalled. Dylan states in a cocky tone for the two ladies to leave everything to him, making them question his credibility, he does ask who they want to target though. Sass immediately blurts out Kaity, adding she should have been eliminated over Annika way back, Dylan goes off to work his magic, and Sass makes her way to the cabin to take a nap, leaving Flik alone... did she really want Kaity gone last time? No! But did she have another choice? Would the majority welcome her with open arms if she were to flip...? Her petite brain started working in ways she never had experienced before... she was thinking about what Violet had said and did for her... maybe flipping was not all hopeless.
The so-called majority was also having a hard time deciding who to vote off, Violet and Kaity wanted Sass out the door, while Surf didn’t because he thought he still had a chance with her. In a way to please all parties, Ian reveals Dylan’s actions from a few days ago, how he tried forming a secret allegiance with Sass... everybody is shocked by this, Surf in particular, now his other friend is trying to date Sass!? Another love rival!? To erase her chances of recovering, he suggests voting off Dylan, that way, they’ll also stop having to deal with his annoying attitude in general. It takes some convincing... but Violet and Kaity eventually give in, though they still did not look happy with the idea.
After Ian and Surf leave, the girls are approached by Dylan, Kaity remembered his good deed of carrying her bags on the very first day, she felt like she owned him something... so without letting Violet speak, she tells him his friends want him out of the island, he is taken aback by this, eyes twitching a bit in frustration, but he doesn’t let that ruin his composure. He tells the girls he approached Sass in an attempt to get on her good side, get close with Flik, and join forces with the two to blindside the model once and for all. While it felt like the story was a bit hard to believe, his confidence was enough to convince the girls, the duo asks if Flik is aware of this, and Dylan confirms it, adding he made her see the light.
This eases Kaity and Violet’s nerves, they didn’t need those stubborn boys, they were going to do what they wanted, and that was final. Dylan catches up to Sass, whispering that he has everything under control, while Flik lagged behind, she was still in her own head about this vote, her decision could potentially change the entire course of the game...
—————
Confessionals:
Surf: Bro... I don’t really wanna do this to my man Dylan, I feel really bad, because he did help me in the past. But it seems like he has been growing more and more insane as the competition goes on... I think for his own sake, as well as for my chances with Sass, he has to go.
Violet: I mean, I’m glad the person I want gone is leaving, but it’s so confusing! Dylan aligns with Sass, and Ian thinks he’s not with us, then the crazy dude comes over telling us he’s just tricking the stuck up bitch to try and get Flik to vote with him... and yet he didn’t tell us any of this before? (She grabs her head), my head hurts!
Sass: (She is seen doing her nails) When I think about it, maybe I shouldn’t rely on like Dylan, but sometimes, it’s just better to let others do the dirty work for you, even though I keep getting overthrown, someone always takes the fall because they’re bigger idiots! (she laughs) Sadly, that may mean Flik’s time is running out...
Dylan: Ok, I now have a perfect set up... what do I do now? I don’t know! You’ll have to wait and see, but this is exactly what I wanted, a scenario in which no matter who goes home... someone will be mad! This will be a sight to see.
—————
The Mouses find themselves at the Campfire Ceremony yet again, looking across the fire... longing for one of those 6 delicious marshmallows on the silver platter. The host gives them a look of disapproval, like it wasn’t already bad enough for them.
After everyone casts their votes, marshmallows are handed out to...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...Nobody!
Everyone is shocked at the sudden announcement, the host reveals that due to the recent events regarding the burning of Sagebay Island... authorities have been threatening to cancel the season if no one were to step forward and get punished for it, as after it was put out, a good chunk of the wildlife was completely destroyed, as such...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...Kaity is informed she has been officially disqualified from Island of Challenges for causing the aforementioned burning of Sagebay Island.
Kaity, Flik, Surf, Ian and Violet’s jaws fall to the floor, Sass gags, albeit she looks pleased, while Dylan looks like he’s about to rip a piece of his hair off his head. Two policemen appear and drag Kaity across the Dock of Shame, she is thrown into the Boat of Losers, and is taken away with the police force without further notice.
—————
WOAH! That was a shocker no one saw coming, did you? Let’s be real, you didn’t. Still, it was a very fitting exit for the ball of craziness that was Kaity!
With no idea of how the vote would have gone had Kaity not been disqualified, how are the Mouses moving forward from here? What transpired between Sync and Taylor? And what is next in store for our Final 14 campers?
Find out the answers to all of these questions next time! On ISLAND... OF... CHALLENGES!
—————
Thoughts on Kaity:
I won’t reveal the votes for the sake of suspense, but the before-the-vote segment should give you enough clues if you want to figure it out on your own. For the record, Kaity did get the most votes, so no, she was not robbed. With that said... I’m very upset Kaity is gone, she was one of my favorites from the beginning because of how much I could exaggerate her actions and get away with it due to who she is. She deserved to go out with a bang, which hopefully I managed to succeed in.
submitted by Shiromifeari to BrantSteele [link] [comments]


2020.08.24 17:08 naughtycupboard83 The more I cut myself the better I feel, my bullies on the other hand.....

WARNING: CONTAINS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF SELF HARM, PLEASE BE AWARE
It seemed to start like a standard day, wake up, get clean and fresh and head to school with my arms around me and my head down. You see, I'm quite shy and don't want to interact with the world as a rule, but on the other side of this I get singled out for essentially being a loner. I have a friend or two but they're online and not anywhere near where I live. My names Esmeralda by the way, so its nice to meet you I guess.
Heading down the road to school was the fun part of my day because of the nice older gentleman who always waved and said hello to me. I dont know his name and hes never offered it but it was a smile I didnt get anywhere else, not even at home. Dads a drunk and mums violence is regular and uncompromising so I latched onto that smile with eagerness and hoped one day I could smile like that too.
Either way the beatings at home had made me withdraw into myself and I couldn't stand the group of popular kids at school. All the taunts and jibes, although poorly thought out and reminiscent of a poor education still hurt and often I would walk home in tears.
So I had taken to cutting myself to release at least some of the stress and anger that I couldn't articulate with words because of fear.
As I said it was a pretty standard morning and nothing untoward had happened, dad had been sober enough to tell me to fuck off and leave him alone even though I had only walked Into the living room and mum had pinched me on the inside of my arm hard enough to leave a bruise. It hurt but it was less than the normal beatings.
My arms and legs were covered entirely by black Jean's and a long sleeve shirt so no one saw my cuts, fresh and old in varying shades and sizes of scar tissue and scabbed up jagged lines, normal attire for any given day for me.
"Oi you fucking emo bitch!" I heard being hollered at me as I entered the school grounds.
So it begins I thought, another day, another abusive interaction with Don, the resident playground idiot.
"What do you want Don?" I mumbled so he could barely hear me.
"What did you say bitch?" He growled. "Did you just call me a cunt?" He leapt forward and slapped me round the head, catching my ear and the side of my face.
It stung. Alot. I picked myself up and tried to walk away but he was having none of it.
"Answer me you shithead!"
"I didnt call you anything Don, I asked what you wanted" I muttered, with tears about to run down my cheeks.
"I want you to suffer for being a little piece of shit and an oxygen thief, you dont deserve to breathe you goth witch!" He pushed me down again and all his dumb ass friends laughed and hooted as my knees caught on the stone floor and started to bleed.
"What's going on here?" A voice, a mans voice with authority and control etched into it. It was my least favourite teacher,Mr. Jennings.
"Nothing sir, I just fell over and scraped my knees up is all", I said.
" yeah what she said" stifled behind a giggle from Don and his friends.
"Get to class you waste of time". It wasnt said to me but it was definitely said at me from Mr. Jennings.
I dusted myself off and went to class, head low and arms crossed as usual to keep as much away as possible. It turned into a relatively pain free day as me and Don didnt have any classes together and as school finished I hurried out the gates to get home. Not that I like home but at least I could hide in my room for a while, until mum decided I needed a smack or three st least.
Strangely the older man was in his garden and instead of waving, he beckoned me over. What could be the worst that could happen I thought to myself, lifes already shit maybe this will change it up. Ironic, considering the way things ended up going really. "My names Henry and you look troubled young lady". He spoke softly and with an air of grace about him. Although nervous I decided I would interact and see where it went. "I'm Esmeralda, nice to meet you Henry" I mumbled into my chest.
"I know the look on your face Esmeralda, I too suffered as a youngster and I feel that I may be able to help you".
"How do you mean? I dont know you, we just wave on occasion?"
He held out his hand and gestured for me to do the same, and when I did he dropped a crunched up piece of paper into it. "Dont read it yet,wait until you get home and are safe".
" huh, that'll take a while" i whispered, and then "oh ok , i will and thank you Henry".
"Be on your way and be safe" he said with a smile a toothy grin and then turned and slowly walked up his garden path and into his house.
Honestly it was strange but still better than most experiences of people so I stuffed the paper into my pocket and Carried on my way home.
As I walked into my house, the smell of cheap cider and vodka was as prevailing as normal but the sounds of heavy breathing from the living room showed dad was asleep, so at least I didn't have to deal with that and mum was nowhere be seen. Probably at the "gym" with her friend Terrence. By which I mean shes probably sucking his dickwhilst dads passed out cos the woman's never been to a gym in her life and hes too drunk to either notice or care.
I scurried uptown my room and locked the door, feeling at least a bit more free than normal, and pulled the paper out of my pocket. It was just a plain old piece of paper that said "keep me close and your pain will be anothers".
Really odd but Henry was old and could be senile? I dont know but what harm could it do?
I messed around on my computer doing research on the rocky mountains for school until the dreaded sound of the front door meant mum was home. "ESMERALDA GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!!"
Now this was standard practice for mum and it meant I was in for a beating because she was pissed off about something else, probably Terrence getting bored of her shit again.
Taking a deep breath I went down stairs and hoped today would be different. Nope. Same old shit. Before I could open my mouth, she punched me in it and split my lip open. Blood pouring down my chin, she went for my stomach and punched me again. No sounds from her, just violence. She walked away whilst I gasped for air and then dragged myself back upstairs. Despite the pain I was in from the punches i got out my kit box and proceeded to draw a razor across my inner thigh. It didnt hurt today which was really oddas i craved the pain and hurt to calm myself down.
I tried again a few more times but there was no pain and I gave up with a sniffle as my tears dried on my face. I cant even self harm properly now,what's up with that?
I must have fallen asleep as when I woke up it was morning and time to get ready for school. It was strange that there were no marks on my legs from the night before, but I brushed it off with ignorance and went to school. Henry wasnt there when I passed his house which was also strange as I dont remember him ever not being there in the mornings. "Maybe hes sick" I thought to myself.
As I entered the school grounds, fully expecting a slap abuse, I noticed a look on everyone's faces that seemed sad and forlorn. No one was going to tell me what was going on but I heard a few whispers around the playground.
"Don's in a really bad way!" "He was such a lively kid, so sad what happened to him last night". "His legs were crushed and he almost bled to death!"
Confused was not the worst but I went to class and sat down. briefly we were all called into the main hall by the deputy head teacher Ms. Owen, who I got on quite well with for the most part.
"Now I'm sure you've all heard the rumours about Donald Ryegate, and the accident that happened late last night. Hes in hospital in an induced coma to help his body with the shock, but for those of you that dont know, Donald was walking back from a friends when a truck filled with scrap metal drove off the road and crashed into a lamppost. In the ensuing accident some metal flew out of the truck and hit Donald in the legs. It's a tragedy the like of which we've never seen before and all our thoughts are with him and his family".
I mean it's really sad but that kid has made my life a misery for 3 years and I'm not even close to upset about it. If anything he deserves a taste of the pain hes caused me.....
submitted by naughtycupboard83 to horrorforall [link] [comments]


2020.08.17 23:30 Throwaway89055 My mother is NOT a pedo, a satanist, a cult member, a murderer, nor anything hateful/terrible.

My mother is a famous musician. I'm not saying who. But she had a #1 hit single in the 80’s and a couple of other top 40 hits from the late 70’s till the early 2000’s. She came from an impoverished dysfunctional background but never succumbed to it. She met my father at her first concert, which was just a bunch of friends fucking around with instruments they could barely play at a house party. They have been together ever since, and he was with her throughout her (1st) rise to local fame; (then) rise to national fame; (finally) rise to international fame. She's never been an A-lister or anything close, neither have the rest of the band.
That said, an international fanbase prior to the world wide web ain't nothin’. I'm so goddamn tired of seeing/hearing supposedly rational people claim that the artists in the music industry are Satan-worshipping murderer-pedophiles, and to add insult: that's how ”they” got their fame. The very same people who claim this are the ones who extol the virtues of a merit-based society. They're the same people who say ”just work hard and you can be successful.” Well she did. She never had vocal training, she was self-taught. Record labels kept passing on them for their unique sound (which would eventually become the sound of the 80’s in the form of New Wave). My parents spent many a night sleeplessly praying that the band makes it. Now that COVID has taken away her livelihood (live shows), they're still doing this.
My mother who is some amalgamation of New Age and Christian (think essential oils and hippie Jesus) has even been affected by these conspiracy theories, because she watches them all goddamn day thru YouTube’s autoplay. She likes bigfoot and aliens....but that rabbit hole always goes to the same place. When I started writing my non-fiction book on Esotericism, magick, mystery, and UFOs in New Religious Movements she asked me (regarding mystery religion) ”isn’t that Satanic like...isn’t that something to do with the Illuminati?” so I said to her ”some people think the music industry is a faction of the Illuminati. Do you believe that's true?” she laughed and said ”no, it's just really fucking financially corrupt and full of wife-beaters” (oof) but that ”IF it's true it must be a recent thing and to do with people way more famous than [her band]” because she had never heard this until recently (lol, I know that's not how the theory works but I can't help but laugh...it's fucking bananas that even she is letting this work its way into her mind). She is a southern Christian lady, very quiet irl, shy and loving, abhors crowds even the size of dinner parties unless she is on-stage in her persona, and deeply superstitious bc of her family’s background. She now believes the cabal invented AIDS to kill off the gays, such as her brother (rest in power, uncle). Y’all corrupted her critical thinking lmao thanks.
I’m so tired of all this bad-faith bullshit. People can't stop themselves from doom-scrolling, and it always leads here: ”Tha Jooz are using Tha Blackz to rEpLaCe Teh Hhwites and r also using Tha Gayyz and Tha Transgenders [sic] to DeeeStrOy WESTERN SOCIETY. Oh and BTW it's a Satan cult kthxbye” It’s a transparent attempt to demonize and scapegoat the targets of the far-right which have historically been: non-whites, Jews, Romanichel, practitioners of ‘Western Mystery Tradition’, non-christians, homosexual/bi/trans people. You all don't think Trump is part of it? That corrupt rich perv? Oh yeah just ignore pictures of Trump and Epstein/Maxwell, because he’s a “white hat,” right? Playing 4D chess? Doubt your doubts, follow the leader! Believe in the savior at all costs, Q said so! Total cult. Let’s not mention how in the GOP there are hundreds of known sex-offenders as local representatives. Dems too, but you already knew that, eh? I don’t support either party, bunch of obstructionist slavery and rape enablers all of them.
Undoubtedly, there is a group of world leaders, powerful politicians, and billionaires (who have become flat on normal pleasures for-sale) and their friends out there engaging in sex trafficking of underage girls and boys. Mostly men, but also the women who enable and facilitate them. And yes, it is probably an intelligence black op. Yes, there is probably a hypnotic cultic element: Powerful old white dudes love to pretend they’re wizards and fuck each other while badmouthing occult practices and homosexuality (think Bohemian Grove, Freemasons, Shriners, and the Bushes). The CIA has historically raided NRMs and cults to repurpose/learn mind-control, CIA has also engaged in sexual/drug brainwashing via MKUltra and has used the ultimate crime as leverage to keep people where they want them, and is as far as I can assess, directly complicit in human trafficking. And I’m not denying that several of A-list celebrities have been customers of this sick trade (as indicated by Epstein’s flight log and black book) but that doesn't mean it's a ”known secret” throughout all performers and artists in show business. That's off-the-deepend as hell. Those people can’t keep secrets to save their lives. What kinda half-assed elite cult would trust a myriad of unstable drug addicts with The Secret™️ that could take them all down?
The closest thing my mothefathethe other band-members/management company ever saw to anything like this was, of course, Sicilian Mafia guys coming to dinner with her and the record execs during a business trip in LA. This was in the early 90’s when the mob was said to run the record industry in California. They, never living in CA, have not had an encounter like this since— because rumor has it— it is no longer profitable for the mob to have associates in the music business due to the internet, piracy, and digitalization.
Power is an exclusive and weird thing, so is fame. But the people who run the world are heads of companies and industries. It may go all the way to the top but it doesn't go all the way to the bottom. B and C-list celebs are not billionaires or 100millionaires, or anything close, for the most part, especially musicians...it’s batshit and frankly implausible for every family worth more than 1million to be involved with some Eyes Wide Shut-style cabal, doing the deeds of motherfucking Satan just for earthly pleasures. The place where it comes together is people willing to do anything for fame, but it is a fallacy to say all or even most famous people are “insiders” or have firsthand accounts of such. In metal, it is a cultural thing 100% to have occult imagery...I mean, yeah. It's fucking metal. Because very few people in the occult believe in a literal Abrahamic Satan. Most of those people are just poor-as-hell goth edgelords anyway, but that's beside the point. Satan, in these cultural contexts, is seen as an adversary figure throughout history, and such LaVey and similar we're influenced by Ayn Rand and Friedrich Nietzsche. It's just edgy individualism to piss off Christians. Ironically enough, lots of those guys like KISS and Slayer have become 45-worshipping flag-thumpers. Maybe because if you read the book of revelations, he definitely seems like the antichrist idk hot take.
PS: Also, there's a world of difference between industry plants (completely synthesized pop gimmicks, who never write their own songs) and 3-hit-wonder aging campy rock’n’roll singers who fight only among themselves for creative control. Distinction is hard.
submitted by Throwaway89055 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.08.10 00:45 welcometosouthapp Welcome to South App #2: "Campus 5-0"

Welcome to South App #2:
https://preview.redd.it/yjkwcmvc22g51.jpg?width=2365&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1aeb599b9653585277e9c705c7d6a935c1a144da
Sunday, August 9th, 2020
“Hall check! Wake yo' dumb asses up.”
Winston wiped the grit out of his eyes and checked his phone. 6 AM. He sucked last night’s Cheeto dust off his fingers and ripped a violent fart, causing Tai to spring up from his bed.
“What was that?!” Tai piped up. “And...what’s that smell?”
“Armadillos,” said Winston, lighting a cig. “Liberal town stinks of ‘em.”
Somebody pounded the hell out of the door. “Winston! Tai! I said hall check!”
“Fuuuck,” Winston slurred, hopping off the top bunk. He smacked his head on the way down, landed on his ankle, and dropped his cigarette.
“And that would be the new R.A.,” Tai sighed, shuffling to his feet. “Voice sounds kinda familiar. Welp, our shenanigans were fun while they lasted.”
They emerged into the bright hallway in pajamas. And to their surprise, every student stood next to their door at attention. Some were swearing. Others were sweating. And strangely, there was no R.A. in sight.
“What the hell’s going on here?” Winston muttered.
“Dude, get to attention before he comes back!” hissed Connor: a lanky, nerdy guy with a bowl cut and glasses.
“Is this some kind of joke?” asked Tai. “Somebody must be playing a prank on us or-"
Suddenly clothes, shoes, snacks, beer bottles, and a sex doll flew out of the room at the end of the hall. “Jackpot!” bellowed a voice from inside. “That’s a fuckin’ minor-in-possession charge right there!”
Then, it occurred to Winston: that voice was familiar. Suddenly, his taser mark burned like Spidey Sense. Winston jogged between rows of trembling students, ignoring the suffering cries of “Don’t do it!” and “He’s bigger than you!” In the doorway, Winston saw him: Lionell the bus driver. He sat with his back turned in a swivel chair, browsing his hallmate’s laptop. He appeared to be making himself right at home, his combat boots crossed on top of the desk.
“Looks like the simps in this room are fond of big-titty goth bitches!” he yelled out, scrolling through the browser history of 4K porn.
Winston took a deep breath. “Hey, uh...Mister Lionell?”
Lionell swiveled around to face him. His eyebrows furrowed like two lightning bolts beneath his freshly-waxed head. “Ah, Winston Panty-Pissin’ Beavers. Care to tell me why the fuck you ain’t in formation?”
Winston would rather swallow his own vomit than his pride. “Uh, yes sir. First of all, I wanna apologize for the way I acted on the bus. I was a bonafide douchebag. But I also wanted to ask: can I please get my gun back? My dad gave it to me, and-”
Lionell shot to his feet. He marched over to Winston like a true Marine. Slowly, he reached into his BDU pocket and withdrew the Colt Single-Action Army, cradling it in his calloused hands like Oliver Twist asking for porridge.
“Is, uh…this whatchu want, Mister Beavers?” Lionell mocked in a high-pitched voice.
“Yeah, man!” Winston chuckled nervously. “I’d mighty appreciate it.”
“Go on then!” Lionell snapped. “Take it. But if you do, I’m gonna charge yo’ ass with discharging a firearm near a public highway, destruction of private property, and attempted hijacking of a motor vehicle! And Lionell’s my government name. It’s Deputy Hardy to you.”
Lionell snatched Winston’s hand and placed the gun inside it. The warm muzzle fit his hand perfectly - exactly why his dad had chosen it for him. And it pained Winston that much more to hand the Colt back to Lionell. Winston had reluctantly made up his mind.
“That’s what I fucking thought,” Lionell sneered. “You’re a pussy, and daddy would be ashamed." Lionell pocketed the gun and marched out of the room, down the hall of petrified students. “Ya know, I’d say daddy shoulda left yo’ ass on a tissue. Then again, why waste a perfectly good tissue, ya dig?”
Lionell reached Room 309 and stepped inside.
“We gotta do something about this son of a bitch,” whispered Tai, as a seething Winston came to attention next to his room.
“Dude, there’s not shit we can do except comply,” whispered Connor, shaking his head. “Most of us have shit in our room way worse than alcohol." Connor pressed his finger against his nostril and pretended to snort cocaine. “Look, the way I see it: we just gotta let the R.A. do his thing. Let’s face it: we’re Lionell’s bitch.”
Holy fucking shit!” Lionell cheered. “I gots me some goodies in this room.” He walked out with a bag of Winston’s hand-cut tobacco, a jar of moonshine, and a few boxes of .45 ammo. But Winston’s anger paled in comparison to the sheer horror on Tai’s face. Under Lionell’s arm was a binder with big, bold letters reading HAWT BOOK. Tai’s eyeballs nearly popped out of his skull.
“He cannot...read...that book!” Tai whispered, gripping Winston’s shoulder.
“Sheesh, dude,” Winston said with a shrug. “Quit your bitchin’. He done took my Alabama moonshine. A few inbreds died making that batch.”
“Mine’s worse, roomie,” Tai’s voice cracked. “Much worse.”
***
Four floors up, Gigi opened her eyes to the sun in her face. She stared up at the ceiling, a visible heatwave cooking the room. One of these days, the paint would melt off the ceiling and coat her entire body while she slept.
Like Winston, Gigi was a member of the Top Bunk Club. And she too had rolled off the bunk and twisted her ankle more than once. On this day she sat up too quickly, feeling a rush of hard cider to the head. She felt herself tumbling down, down, down - landing squarely on the bean bag chair below.
The room spun above her head, her heart pounding in her throat. She slumped over, crawling across the soft, white shag carpet. Gripping the towel rack, she pulled her body up, bent over the sink, and threw up. She flopped onto the cold tile floor, smiling as the nausea left her body.
Somebody gently tapped on her door.
“Sarah?” Gigi called out, her voice hoarse and dry. “Um...can you grab me a Sprite?”
“Oooh, my-a Gigi!” called out an Asian lady. It was Kim Moon: Gigi’s mom. “How are you? Did you have much drink? I cannot wait hear everything!”
Gigi lay in a fetal position, covering her mouth. “M-mom?!”
“Yes, my-a Gigi!” replied Kim. “Please open door for hall check. I am your new R.A!”
Gigi projectile vomited on the shag rug.
Minutes later, Kim was on her knees scrubbing the rug while Gigi sat on the futon. Kim had raided Gigi’s cabinet for rubber gloves, bleach, and an old towel. She aggressively scrubbed the carpet until that one spot was much cleaner than the rest of it.
“Like I always tell-a you,” Kim said, looking up. “Cleanliness next to godliness." She smiled, displaying a row of pale yellow teeth. Her black, thinning hair draped down the back of her neck. She was even shorter than her daughter.
“Um...yep!” Gigi laughed nervously. She sipped a Sprite, pulling her knees to her chest. “So...what exactly is going on?”
“My-a Gigi,” Kim cooed, cradling her daughter’s face in her gloved hands. “My heart-a broke when you leave. I cry and cry, then I finally close up shop be with you!”
Back in suburban Atlanta, Kim ran a small farmer’s market out of a shed on her property. Gigi spent her adolescent and teenage years harvesting vegetables and selling them in exchange for a weekly allowance. Kim always swore that Gigi (or possibly her bratty little sister, Catherine) would someday inherit the house and family business.
“Why-a don’t we start our hall check? I bake-a cookies for all you ladies while we tell story of baby Gigi!”
***
Tai and Winston stood at attention, while Lionell paced the hallway with Tai’s HAWT BOOK in hand.
“I told y’all motherfuckers I done struck gold!” Lionell bellowed.
As Lionell approached, the students’ faces burned red. Lionell stopped in front of the room across the hall. “Now what’s...yo name?”
“C-C-Connor,” said the bowl-cut kid.
“Ah, mah’fuckin’ Connor! That right there’s a hwhite boy name." Lionell flipped through the binder. And while the other students stared in horror, Winston was the only one fighting to hold back a laugh.
“Ah, Connor in Room 308!” Lionell read from the binder. “Pros: tight ass; confirmed six-pack. Cons: probably not bi-curious; probably a top. Overall rating: 7/10.”
Winston exploded into laughter. “Damn, Connor, you’re tied with Fat Will!" William, the chunky neckbeard down the hall, gave a hesitant thumbs-up. In Tai’s binder, Will had also scored a 7/10 for having a size-13 shoe size and being a sloppy eater.
“I ain’t done yet, funny boy!” Lionell yelled in Winston’s face. “I done saved the best for last. The mah-fuckin’ creme-de-la-creme. Wiiinston Beavers!”
“Ha!” Winston interrupted, pointing at the 3/10 Leftward-Sloping-Penis-Rick down the hall. “That means you’re officially in last place, bitch!”
Earlier, Tai had been sweating bullets. But after having his deepest, darkest secrets broadcasted so theatrically, his expression was dull and lifeless.
Winston Beavers: my temporary college roommate,” Lionell read. “Cons: leaves his dirty boots on the carpet, doesn’t wash his sheets, doesn’t wash his scrotum, drinks milk from the carton, everything he touches turns into Cheeto dust, and the room smells like dead armadillos when he’s around.”
Winston stopped laughing.
Pros: good snacks,” Lionell sneered. “Final score: 0.5 out of 10.”
“This is horse shit!” Winston yelled, punching the wall. He stomped down the hall of cringing students. Tai trailed behind while the thunderous laughter of Deputy Hardy faded behind them.
“Wait, hold up!” Tai called out in the stairwell. “Just let me explain."
“Ain’t nothin’ to explain!” Winston shot back. “Apparently, I’m a temporary roommate. So I ain’t gonna show my armadillo ass around Firewater much longer.”
“Okay man, I admit it,” Tai said, throwing his hands up. “I’m not sorry for writing that, but I am sorry you had to hear it. Besides! It’s not like it’s something that can’t be fixed. I have a wide array of hygiene products that’ll help with at least a quarter of the things on that list!”
Winston scoffed like a wild hog. But his expression softened as he mulled it over. “You got any of that...sandalwood cologne?”
“Hell yes I do!” said Tai, perking up. “I’ve got creams, lotions, salves, colognes - you name it! Roomie, allow me to become your personal fabulous assistant! Why, I’ll have you looking spiffy for Miss Claire Dansby in no time.”
“Now you’re talking my language,” Winston said, shaking on it. “Deal.”
They entered the 700 Hall to the sound of giddy laughter. The ladies gathered around the petite Miss Kim, who sat in a stool in the middle of the hallway. Like Kindergarteners, they watched earnestly while the woman held a photo album.
“And dis one,” Kim squeaked, pointing at one of the photos, “is my-a Gigi during first birthday. She eat-a cake, and eat, and eat. She get very, very fat! And you no notice now, because she smaaall as Oompa Loompa now.”
The women howled with laughter while Gigi sat slumped against the wall, wishing she would melt into it.
“And how-a can we-a forget!” Kim gasped. “Dis one is my-a Gigi dressed-a like Neenja Turtle. She has-a Neenja Turtle jammies, Neenja Turtle bedsheets, and even-a Neenja Turtle potty!”
“Sorry Ma’am, we gotta go!” announced Winston, grabbing Gigi’s hand. “Sunday brunch is about to start.”
“Oh!” cried Kim. “Why, hello! Handsome gentlemen stay for my-a cookies?”
But the three freshmen were already out the door.
***
The Chubby Beaver Cafe rewarded Sunday brunch to hungover early birds on campus. A full spread of “Beaverific” entrees: bourbon maple chicken and waffles, crepes stuffed with fresh fruit puree, and virgin screwdrivers (i.e. BYOB). The main attraction: a giant hand-carved ice beaver statue.
But the distraught Winston, Gigi, and Tai were sickened by the thought of fine dining. Instead, they drowned their sorrow in a mile-high stack of bacon on a plate. While they silently munched on sadness and grease, Sarah swept by with a crepe and a screwdriver. She plopped down in the seat next to Winston.
“Helllo, lovelies!” she greeted. Unlike the other three pajama slobs, she wore a long, purple skirt and newly-braided dreadlocks. Sarah was rushing a week early, having spent the night stargazing with a co-ed hippie fraternity.
“What’s with the plate of animal carcasses, bro?” Sarah asked, sipping her drink. “Does a pig have to die for you to live?”
“Fuck it, I’m full,” growled Winston, pushing his plate across the table. Tai and Gigi turned away like dogs refusing to eat.
“Geez, who rained on your parade?” Sarah asked, cracking open a shot bottle of vodka and discretely pouring it into her orange juice.
Winston pointed at the entrance. “See for yourself.”
The freshmen watched a group of men and women stroll into the cafe, dressed in their Sunday-best attire of black tailored suits and dresses. And yet, in context, it seemed like they were marching to a funeral.
“Wait,” Sarah whispered. “That’s the-"
“Campus 5-0,” Winston finished. He stood on top of his chair. “Code red!”
Immediately, every student scrambled to hide their weed, mini liquor bottles, and pain pills. Several students pulled their hands out of their girlfriends’ panties. And the conversation shifted from scoring molly to scoring into the South App Honors Program.
“Wait, that’s the bus driver, right?” Sarah asked, pointing out the freshly-waxed bald head in the crowd. “God, tell me he’s not your R.A!”
“He is, oh God he is!” Tai moaned dramatically. He grabbed a handful of bacon, stuffed it into his mouth, and crawled under the table.
Lionell reached into his pocket and made his hand into the shape of a gun. He aimed it at Winston, shut his left eye, and "fired." Winston didn’t so much as move a muscle while Lionell blew on his hand, placed the “gun” in his pocket, and got in line for waffles.
“Um...I’ve got it worse - tenfold!” Gigi laughed nervously. On cue, Momma Moon approached their table wearing a long, black dress.
“O-a, my-a Gigi and friends!” Kim greeted, folding her hands in front of her waist. “When you-a leave, I unlock your-a door and do all your laundry!”
“What?!” Gigi choked. “You have a key to my room?”
“My dear-a, I need keep an eye on you as your R.A! I not go anywhere! I need make sure you safe and clean. All your thong-a, and even your granny panty.”
With that, Gigi grabbed a handful of bacon, stuffed it into her mouth, and slipped under the table to join Tai.
And now only the two siblings remained. Kim reached over and stroked Winston’s beard. “It’s-a been long time since my-a Gigi have strong American friend take-a care of her. You make sure she-a be good girl while she get teeth degree.”
“Uh, sure thing ma’am,” Winston replied while Kim gave him a boop on the nose with her finger.
“You-a fluffy man. You look handsome if you no fat.”
Sarah burst into laughter, downing the rest of her screwdriver. But Kim picked up Sarah’s empty glass, traced the rim, and placed a finger in her mouth. “Oooh, naughty, naughty. I think you put alcohol in there-a. That means-a I impose 7 PM curfew for week.”
“What?!” screamed Sarah. “You bitch!”
“Oooh, careful,” Kim cooed, picking up a slice of bacon and pointing at Lionell across the room. “If you no comply, I tell big cop man that you minor in possession." She spun around and walked off, nibbling on the bacon like a chipmunk.
Sarah snapped the glass at the stem. “Let’s sabotage these fuckin’ R.A.'s!”
Winston narrowed his eyes, watching as Lionell poured a cup of runny batter into the waffle iron. He rotated the handle to start the timer, and his carb cake began to cook.
“Now’s our chance,” Winston said, springing up from his chair. “Follow me, sis.”
“What about them?” Sarah asked, pointing under the table.
Winston grabbed the plate of bacon and lifted the tablecloth. Tai and Gigi immediately snatched it up like cave trolls, feasting in their underground lair.
“All that pork and they’re skinny as rails,” Winston muttered to Sarah.
“Ah, I see Momma Moon hit a nerve with you,” Sarah teased, rubbing his belly. “Are you out to impress her now? Or is it her daughter you seek?”
Winston scoffed as he and Sarah weaved through tables of hungover students. “Nah, just Claire,” he replied.
“Ah, I knew it!” Sarah laughed. “Your southern damsel in distress. So, you wanna know a secret that only a woman would know?”
“Hit me.”
“It’s gonna take a lot more than good looks to score with a woman like her.”
“Explain.”
“The solution...is that there is no solution. You have to be born into it. Sorry!”
At the waffle station, Lionell lifted the handle and grabbed his waffle, imprinted with the S.A.U. Beaver logo. And as he searched for the maple syrup, Winston dangled it in front of his face.
“Got a wager for ya, Deputy,” Winston proposed, dousing his waffle with syrup while Lionell furrowed his brow. “And the stakes are mighty high.”
“You got ten seconds,” Lionell snarled, “Before I stomp yo’ ass in front of your sister." Sarah took a sip of her fresh screwdriver, middle finger up.
“Whoa, easy tiger,” said Winston. He poured a scoop of batter into the waffle iron and slammed it shut. “I’ll put it like this: you look like you’ve eaten from a pig trough once or twice in your life.”
“You got some fuckin’ nerve.”
“Hey, I have too! Nothin’ to be ashamed of. Your colleague over there called me out on my weight too. You’re an American. I’m an American. So let’s do what we Americans do best: have a good old-fashioned eating contest.”
Lionell paused. He swiped a knob of butter with his knife and slathered his waffle. “Now what’s in it for me?”
“Simple. If you win, you get to give me a 7 PM curfew for a month." Sarah suddenly spat out her screwdriver, clutching Winston’s sleeve. “And if I win, you get the fuck out of my hall.”
A gleaming smile washed across Lionell’s face. Students began setting their phones down to eavesdrop. The waffle iron alarm went off. Lionell swiped the fluffy waffle and dropped it on a plate.
“Aight, Beavers. But I get to decide what we eatin’. Annnd march!”
Lionell snapped to attention, about-faced, and marched down the buffet line. Winston quickly slathered his waffle with syrup and butter, following behind. At the chicken station, Lionell grabbed the tongs and swiped a piece of growth-hormone fried chicken for both of them. Five slices of bacon to top it all off.
That’s it? Winston thought. This is just any given Tuesday for me.
But instead of heading back to a table, Lionell about-faced to the waffle station again. “I ain’t through with you by a damn sight,” Lionell warned. “I’m about to get diabetic on yo’ ass!”
Lionell and Winston cycled through the buffet line, layering the waffles, chicken, and bacon three more times. By now, Gigi and Tai had joined the crowd of gossiping students. When Sarah recapped the challenge, Gigi crossed her arms, containing a large belch in her throat.
“Wow, how can Winston eat all of that?” Gigi groaned. “Is he from this world?”
“You’d be surprised,” Sarah chuckled, shaking her head. “My brother is a bonafide carnivore. Hell, he used to have this YouTube channel. What was it...ah, Feng Shui of the Gut. He’d upload these crazy eating challenges once or twice a week. My parents couldn’t keep a full pantry. And let’s just say it got to the point where they made Winston buy his own toilet paper.
That mental image seared in Gigi’s mind as the two competitors sat down with their two-foot-tall stacks of grease. And since Winston’s gut would certainly be “feng shui’d” this afternoon, Tai thanked God that their dorm bathrooms were down the hall instead of in their room. All eyes were on them. Not to mention, several live video feeds. Winston and Lionell placed their paper napkins on their laps, gripping a knife and fork in their fists.
“One last finishing touch,” Lionell declared. “Waiter! Bring me some ranch.”
Magically, a student worker swept by with a ladle of ranch dressing. Lionell drowned their chicken and waffles with the stuff. The color drained from both Winston’s and Sarah’s face. Even she knew he was doomed.
When Winston was a wee lad in Trinity, he’d grown up pouring ranch dressing on his school pizza, corn nuggets, and hot dogs. But all of that had come to a halt in middle school. One day, he’d brought a cobb salad for lunch to impress the football cheerleaders. And after taking his first bite, he had pulled a long strand of gray hair out of his mouth. Courtesy of a lunch lady who had always refused to wear a hairnet. Needless to say, Winston had never touched ranch dressing ever since.
“Go, fat boy!” Lionell barked.
Winston shook the memory and dug in. He tried to saw the soggy waffle stack with a butter knife. Lionell simply grabbed a handful of food and stuffed it into his mouth. So Winston tossed his silverware aside and went to town. The syrup, ranch, butter, and chicken grease coagulated in his stomach. But he trucked through, sickened by the thought of a sunset curfew. And by now, there was a clear divide in the crowd: the faculty and staff backing Lionell and the students cheering for Winston.
“Gonna beat that bitch ass!” Lionell scoffed between bites.
Lionell was a food machine, shoveling down the first layer like he was born for it. Now Winston could eat his way out of trouble too. But the watered-down expired ranch stuck to the back of his throat. He switched his approach, fetching his napkin and wiping off each piece of bacon and chicken. He scarfed those down with ease. But the longer the waffles sat there, the more they puffed up in size as they soaked in the ranch.
“Fuck me,” Winston groaned, washing his food down with a glass of Mountain Dew. Meanwhile, Lionell looked like a mental patient, his cheeks and chin coated in grease and dressing. Winston looked down at the sweet, salty, gooey, gelatinous pile of batter. His stomach churned as he felt something rise from his stomach to his throat...
“Drink this, bro!” Sarah yelled, tilting Winston’s head back. She poured a steady stream of Pepto-Bismol into his mouth. And now, the flavor of stale bubblegum was added to the milky, tangy ranch. Time stood still. Winston suddenly imagined a tiny lunch lady sitting in that pink bottle. Holding a fishing pole. Casting a fishing line down Winston’s throat. A line made of her own hair.
Winston turned to his side and threw up on the floor.
It was over. Lionell stood to his feet, holding up a clean plate and dragging his tongue across it. Winston panted on hands and knees while Sarah and Tai lay hands on him. Gigi rushed back with a refill of Mountain Dew.
“On the bright side...I got the whole thing on video so we can still put it on your YouTube channel!” Gigi cheered.
“Wh-what? Who told you about that?” Winston looked up, feeling a second wave coming.
Before Gigi could answer, Kim came by with a mop and a bucket full of chemicals. “I clean, I clean! Remember, my daughter: cleanliness next to godliness!”
***
At 6:55 PM Sarah lay on her bunk reading an H.P. Lovecraft novel she borrowed from Evelyn. Gigi was organizing the massive pile of clean panties on the futon, courtesy of Kim. At the age of 18, she couldn’t bear the thought of her mom sorting through the different shapes, sizes, and colors. Once again, she wished lightning would just strike her dead where she stood…
Somebody knocked on the door.
“Oh, looks like curfew check,” Gigi said. “Good thing you’re already in the room!" Without looking up from the book, Sarah flipped her off. Gigi grabbed her comforter and draped it over Panty Mountain. But when she opened the door, it was Winston. He was holding a 6-foot metal pole.
“Howdy,” Winston said, slipping in and closing the door. “I heard you’re part of the Top Bunk Club, so I got ya a safety bar.”
“Oh, cool! That’s very thoughtful of you, Winston! I almost died this morning when I fell off.”
But Sarah saw right through his brother’s facade. “That’s obviously not why he’s not here,” she muttered, bookmarking her place and sitting up in bed. “He’s trying to avoid his curfew. Look, bro, can’t you just admit defeat every now and then? It sucks. But if I’m following the rules, then so can you.”
“Hey check this out, sis,” Winston proposed. He propped the safety bar against the wall and sat next to hidden Panty Mountain. “All I gots to do is hang out here for a little bit, and then we can all sneak out and go to trivia at that pizza joint downtown.”
Before they could consider it, there was a single, thunderous pound on the door. “Winston, I know yo’ ass is in there!” Lionell yelled.
“Shit,” Sarah hissed. “Quick, get in the closet!”
“Hey, I ain’t like my roommate, ya know." But Sarah grabbed Winston’s shoulders and shoved him in, closing the rasta sheet. Gigi took a breath and opened the door.
“Deputy!” Gigi greeted. “Quite the lovely post-curfew evening on campus. What say ye?”
But Lionell walked straight past her into the center of the room. He put his hands on his hips, admiring the clean and tidy living space. Sarah’s prog-rock band posters. Gigi’s bulletin board containing OCD-level to-do lists.
“Ya know, for such a cozy girls’ room,” Lionell pondered, “it sho’ smells like a boy came up in here and took a giant steamy shit.” He eyed the massive pile on the futon and grabbed a corner of the comforter. “There you are! So you think you can do whatever you want like you fucking own South App! Well, you’re fixin’ to have bruises on yo’ knees when I’m through with ya!”
Lionell flung away the comforter, revealing Gigi’s entire collection of panties. Her jaw hit the floor, and Sarah shot to her feet.
“Look, he’s not here!” Sarah asserted. “He’s back over at the cafe for wing night, stuffing his face as usual. Matter fact, he wants to meet ya there for a rematch, if you-”
But Lionell heard none of it. For the first time, the lines on his face softened, and his eyes nearly teared up at the beautiful sight. He picked up a pair of frilly, blue panties and held them in front of his face. Gigi stammered in absolute horror.
“G-get the fuck out of here, you f-fucking asshole!" Gigi spat.
Sarah lunged for the panties, but Lionell’s giant hand shoved her back onto the bed. He whipped out Winston’s revolver and pointed it square at Sarah’s forehead. “Now, now. This is between me and this little Asian piece of ass directly adjacent to me." Lionell casually gestured to Gigi with the gun before pointing it back to Sarah. “Now, Miss Gigi. Allow me to make a proposal.”
Winston watched everything unfold from behind the rasta sheet. With the closet being a few long strides away, he had no opening for a surprise attack. Especially against a Marine. He watched Lionell bring the panties up to his face and inhale deeply.
“You see,” Lionell casually explained to a mortified Gigi, tears welling up in her eyes. “I must admit, you have some mighty fine taste, as evidenced by the smorgasbord in front of me. But all I smell is detergent. Now say you...wore one of these for a few days, and then gave it back to me? Matta fact, how would you like to have your first year of tuition and books paid for? Why I’ll even sweeten the pot!" Lionell tightened the grip on his gun to remind Sarah not to try anything. “I’ll disappear from Firewater, and your two retarded boy-toys will neva have to see mah ass again. Thass right. Gigi Moon, yo’ entire tuition, fees, football tickets - everything paid in full. And you won’t eva have to work a day in a greasy dish pit or stocking shelves at Walmart. All’s you have to do is live with me in my apartment...and be my little yellow-bone slut."
Lionell reached into his tight pants and began touching himself. Winston crouched down behind the curtain. Lionell gritted his teeth, pressing the gun more firmly against Sarah’s forehead. Suddenly, Winston pushed off on his heel, emerging from behind the rasta sheet. As Lionell gasped, Winston speared him in the gut, tackling him to the ground. The gun flew out of Lionell’s hand, sliding under the futon.
“Fuck you, cunt!” Winston yelled, straddling Lionell and throwing punches at the face. Lionell struggled to free his hand, which was still stuck in his tight pants. But he caught one of Winston’s punches and rolled with him on the ground. Now Winston had a 300-pound man on top of him. Lionell struck him repeatedly with a ham-bone fist. All the while, he struggled to free his other hand from his pants.
“I take krav maga, bitch!” Sarah yelled as Gigi and Sarah took turns kicking Lionell in the ribs from either side. But Lionell shook them off like fleas, convulsing with anger in a steroid rage.
“Gigi...the gun,” Winston muttered through bleeding lips. Lionell flung Sarah against the wall, apparently knocking her out. Gigi nodded, dashing toward the futon, while Lionell finally freed his hand from his pants.
“Open yo’ mouth, motherfucka,” Lionell roared. He gripped Winston’s throat with one hand while raising that other smelly, sweaty hand to Winston’s mouth. “You gonna learn today,” Lionell whispered, jamming his entire fist, finger-by-finger, into his mouth. “You gonna taste what it means to be conquered by a motherfuckin’ BBC, you filthy little - *OOOF*!”
Lionell froze, his eyes shooting wide open. And slowly, he leaned to the side, capsizing like a ship. He fell unconscious. Through blurry eyes, Winston saw Gigi gripping the safety bar like a katana.
“Um...turns out that was a pretty thoughtful gift!” Gigi cheered.
***
An hour later, half of Firewater Hall congregated in the main lobby. They gossipped among themselves while a cop car drove off with former Deputy Lionell Hardy. The four freshmen sat on a sofa in the corner, sipping Starbucks.
“Holy shit,” Tai reacted after the others recapped the fight. “That asshole must have been roided up to be able to take all you guys on!”
“Tell me about it,” Winston groaned, pressing his Frappuccino up to his swollen cheek. “I don’t know if I’d be here if Gigi hadn’t gone Mark McGuire on his ass.”
Gigi sipped her Frappuccino as she tried to figure out whether that was the name of a Renaissance painter or NASCAR driver.
“Well, I would’ve saved the day with my deadly roundhouse kicks,” Sarah declared proudly, standing to her feet. “If only Gigi would have distracted him like I asked.”
Gigi took her shoe off and threw it at her. The four freshmen laughed. And interrupting the playful banter was a middle-aged blonde lady with a short bob haircut. She stood on top of a chair and cleared her throat.
“Excuse me, I need everyone’s attention, please. I’m Karen, Director of the Resident Assistants Program here on campus.”
“She totes looks like a Karen,” a sorority girl whispered. Another smart-ass in the crowd made a police siren noise with his mouth.
“Why, yes,” Karen continued. “Sometimes known colloquially as the, um...Campus 5-0. Now then! I see we have had quite the eventful evening in Firewater. And that is why I want to address the status of our…unmonitored 300 Hall." Winston and Tai suddenly perked their ears up. “Effective immediately, the 300 Hall will no longer be under direct R.A. supervision.”
Winston’s and Tai’s jaws dropped to their floor as they exchanged goofy-ass smiles.
Karen held her hand in the air to stop the commotion. “Yes, yes. I do want to advise you. That doesn’t mean that there will be no law and order on the 300 Hall. Underage drinking and weed are serious offenses that could have you expelled and put away in prison for the rest of your life. I assure you that the other R.A.’s are liable at any time to monitor the 300 Hall at their own discretion. Have a good night, and be safe.”
Most students began filing back up to their rooms. But an all-too-familiar face pranced up to Gigi and crossed her arms in front of her slim waist.
“Oh! My-a poor Gigi!” Kim cooed, wrapping her arms around her daughter and kissing her forehead. “I wish I still be here protect you from bad man. But it look like mah service no longer needed anymore.”
Gigi tilted her head to the side, staring at Kim’s cheerful expression. Then Gigi slowly panned over to Sarah, whose face tensed up, trying to hold back a laugh.
“What’s...what’s going on?” Gigi asked them.
“It worked!” Sarah snickered. “Oh, my God, it fucking worked!" Winston and Tai stopped discussing hallway Slip-and-Slide plans to listen in.
“I’m so confused?” Gigi laughed nervously.
“Oh, Gigi...you are almost as naive as you are kind!” Sarah said condescendingly. “Why, Kim was never your R.A. in the first place. Alas, t’was all a masterful plan concocted by yours truly. And Kim played the part beautifully, I might add.”
Sarah gave Kim a golf clap while Kim crossed her legs and gave a polite curtsy.
“But Mom! If you’re not my R.A….then who is?”
“I am,” interrupted Evelyn, the front desk security. She set down her book and walked over to them. She was looking a little less emo than usual with her curly jet-black hair. Yet, she still found it in her heart to don ripped jeans and grey painted nails. “Now don’t you worry, kid,” Evelyn said, putting her arm around Gigi’s shoulder. “If you’re gonna smoke and drink, just keep it out of plain sight. If I see it, then you have to share it. Capiche?"
Gigi slowly nodded her head, her throbbing head trying to process it all. “Oh, and one more thing,” Evelyn added. “No threesomes in the bathroom, please. We don’t have HAZMAT suits, ya know. Just keep that shit in the room, and we’ll be good." Evelyn gave Sarah a side-eye. “Unless it’s a female threesome, of course.”
***
Back in the girls’ room, Gigi’s laundry was put away, Winston’s blood was cleaned up, and the safety bar was secured on the top bunk. At her desk, she typed away at her Honors Program admissions essay. Sarah and Evelyn lounged on the futon, swearing at each other over an intense Mario Kart race. And as Gigi tried to form a thesis on why dental hygienists were more important than brain surgeons, her phone buzzed. A text from Winston.
Hey, can you come down here and bring me my gun? My hands are tied right now. It’s under the futon, right?
Gigi walked over to the futon and got down on hands and knees, blocking the gamers’ view of the TV. Sarah scoffed while Gigi crawled under the futon and reached as far back as she could, feeling around for the gun.
“Damn it, Gigi - you messed up my blue shell!” Sarah complained, flinging her controller across the room.
“Aww, don’t fuss at her,” Evelyn teased, staring down at Gigi’s smooth, toned legs that stuck out from beneath the futon. “She’s so fun-sized!”
Gigi crawled out and shot to her feet with the revolver in hand. “Careful what you say, roomie,” she said. “You were knocked out, so you didn’t bear witness to my epic sword skills! I don’t think you wanna provoke a ninja with a gun!”
“You’re holding it upside down,” Sarah sighed.
“Oh.”
Gigi stashed the revolver in her purse and headed down to the 300 Hall. She raised her hand to knock...then decided that, after today, the four of them were officially on a “no-knock” basis.
“Hi, boys!” Gigi cheered, opening the door. Winston sat in a chair in front of the mirror while Tai stood behind him, styling his hair to the side with pomade. Winston was dressed in a white collared shirt, a grey tie to match his dress pants, and snakeskin cowboy boots. “Wow, Winston,” Gigi mouthed in awe. “You look....um, different! Is that sandalwood?”
“Yeeep,” Tai answered, pulling out a razor and trimming Winston’s beard. “Our man no longer smells like a gym locker room. And I’m sure she will appreciate that.”
“Oh...and who might that be?” Gigi asked suspiciously.
“Miss Claire Dansby,” Winston answered, lighting a cigarette while Tai worked behind him. “I reckon we’ll be running into her tonight.”
“Oh, um...cool! Is she going to be on our trivia team? I mean, after today I think the four of us make a pretty good team, but another brain couldn’t hurt!”
Tai and Winston averted their eyes. An awkward silence while the razor buzzed.
“Yeah, Gigi,” Winston trailed off, taking a drag. “There’s been a change in plans. Claire is actually hosting karaoke at a bar downtown. It’ll just be me and Tai tonight. We’ll have to take a rain check on trivia. Sorry ’bout that.”
“I’m his wingman for Claire!” Tai interjected, wiping Winston’s face with a hot towel.
Gigi just stood there as Tai worked his magic, transforming this good ole country boy into a future country star. And as the scent of sandalwood flooded her nostrils again, she knew she had to leave the room. Not because she hated it, but because she was afraid to admit that she loved it.
“Well, in that case,” Gigi began, placing her hand on the doorknob. “I hope you find immediate gratification in crafting twangy southern anthems for a bonafide like-minded Alabama ten! I do regret to inform you that the proper authorities have confiscated your metal-projecting apparatus!”
Blank stares from Winston and Tai.
“I mean...have fun with your woman! And it looks like the police took your gun as evidence.”
Before Winston could respond, Gigi was already in the stairwell, heading back up to her room. Sarah and Evelyn were on their feet with controllers in hand, screaming at Mortal Kombat.
“Get over here, you fucking asshole!” Sarah yelled, mashing buttons.
“I don’t think I shall!” Evelyn retorted in a British accent. “Looks like you’re…frozen in fear!”
Gigi silently walked past them. She sat down at her computer and typed the first thing that came to her mind: My name is Gigi Moon, and I should be in the Honors Program because I have no fucking social skills whatsoever. But tonight, I proved that I can make up for it with my epic ninja skills!
Only 4,963 words to go, she thought.
But very little writing was done that night while Sarah and Evelyn mashed buttons and took turns screaming “Fatality!” at the top of their lungs. Finally, Gigi put her headphones on. She pulled up YouTube and searched for Feng Shui of the Gut. A hundred videos of Winston’s old ridiculous eating challenges.
One of the most popular videos caught Gigi’s eye: I [email protected]#KED UP! STRANDED ON THE TOILET. She clicked Play. Right away, there was a close-up of a younger and skinnier Winston, no older than 16. The camera was zoomed on his clean-shaven face. And yes, he was clearly sitting on the toilet.
Yee-haw, fellers!” greeted Young Winston, sweat dripping down his forehead. “Welcome back to Feng Shui of the Gut. Earlier today, I decided to scarf down a five-pound bag of Sugar-Free Haribo Gummy Bears! I’m sorry, did I say today?" Winston leaned forward until his face filled the entire frame. “I meant yesterday! I’ve been stuck on this (BLEEP)ing toilet for 24 (BLEEP)ing hours!
Maybe it was procrastination that kept Gigi glued to the screen. Maybe it was morbid curiosity. But while Sarah and Evelyn took turns ripping each others’ spines out and lighting each other on fire, Gigi binged through all 100 of Winston’s old videos. Most revealing were dozens of fast food reviews. In these videos, Winston would eat a burger in his truck while talking about politics, religion, and women. He even went on a 10-video spree chronicling his war against a yellow jacket colony at his mom’s place.
When Gigi’s head hit the pillow at 3 AM, she felt as if she knew Winston Arnold Beavers better than she knew herself. Most notably: chicken wings was his favorite food, curry would make him dig a hole if there wasn’t a toilet nearby, and he absolutely positively despised ranch dressing.
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2020.08.09 06:41 Mount_C 28 [M4F] Brisbane Australia, looking to date locally

I've been single for almost 6 years and am feeling quite lonely. I'm pretty shy, and naturally this pandemic has made dating even harder for me. So, here's a quick summary of me; I'm a goth geek massively into video games, comic books, Star Wars, and just about anything macabre. I have a bit of a tummy, but I'm not obese and am fairly fit. If you're a lady living in Brisbane and am open to going out with me, please DM me. And let's not make things too complicated. If we decide to share each other's contact details, have enough interests in common, and like the way we look, let's not beat around the bush and instead organise a date as soon as possible. Deal?
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https://preview.redd.it/0slhq7hlidd51.jpg?width=259&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e06fc8f194d08db8abf5bfddba5e216aa2212ee
submitted by elvis27JJul to u/elvis27JJul [link] [comments]


2020.07.15 16:10 vengeancesavage Anyone know if Bournewood Hospital is still open?

I was committed to this Godforsaken shithole in the fall of 2018. I don't wanna get in to the sob story and circumstances surrounding my sentence there. I'm still traumatized by mere mention of that ghetto of the soul, but I'm doing so much better these days. I'm almost done with my Bachelor's, am starting a death metal band with two buddies, and most excitingly, I'm in a close relationship with the most wholesome man on Earth after six fucking years of bitter singleness.
Anyway, with the pandemic you would think that inpatient mental hospitals wouldn't be operating, but unfortunately my goth fiend in Oklahoma just got sent to one, so I guess that isn't true across the country.
This lady who was driving me up to see my boyfriend was also sent to Bournewood and she tells me that it got shut down. Guess it had one too many DMH violations... this being Massachusetts that really says something!
If BW actually isn't operational, that works to our advantage because my partner and two of his stoner "f*g hag" friends would love to do some urbex on the grounds, and so I can finally get some closure. We would appreciate some guidance here.
Thanks so much for understanding my weird-ass request, and take care of yourselves! Cheers!
submitted by vengeancesavage to boston [link] [comments]


2020.07.02 08:47 itssusanity They Called Her Scary Sherri

Seventh graders are always, well, let’s say unique, but Scary Sherri was a different breed entirely.
She came into our class in early November, a particularly strange time to enroll, which was the first strike against her. The teacher nodded at her politely, but even she seemed to avert her eyes as Sherri was led in front of the class by the flighty old school counselor.
“Everyone, we have a new student today,” the counselor said in her perpetually candy-coated tone of voice. “Please say hello to Miss Sharon Smith.”
“Sherri,” the girl mumbled, offering a shy wave without lifting her gaze from the ground.
The class droned a monotonous greeting at Sherri took her seat, the eyes of twenty five students following her all the way across the room. I don’t like to admit it, but I definitely joined in on the staring and silently judging: strike two was against her the second she’d taken off her jacket, and we all wanted a closer look.
Like many middle schoolers, Sherri’s hands were scribbled with different colored pens and markers, little doodles that she must’ve drawn in a nervous rush on the bus. But the farther up her arms we looked, the drawings got much more precise and, dare I say, intricate. They were all etched into her skin with black ink, carefully prodded beyond the point of erasing: Sherri was a thirteen-year-old with at least five visible stick and poke tattoos.
We all watched as she sat down and tucked a ribbon of black hair behind her ears, dutifully removing a pen and notebook from her backpack.
For a while, Sherri was simply another member of the class, albeit with two social strikes poised and waiting for the third. She didn’t stir up any trouble, staying mostly silent during class unless she was called on, sketching with a blue pen up and down her arm. Sherri was definitely pretty in a weirdly gaunt sort of way, but surprisingly, she wasn’t recruited to any cliques. No one seemed to want to talk to her at all.
“I think her whole goth look is pretty cool,” my friend Jessie said at lunch one day, eyeing Sherri from across the cafeteria.
“Then go talk to her,” Bethany urged.
Jessie shook her head, her eyes shifting anxiously in Sherri’s direction. “No way,” she said. “Something feels weird about her.”
“She’s new, not poisonous,” I said dryly.
Bethany smirked. “Then you go.”
I looked toward Sherri, watching as she pleasantly and wordlessly ate through her packed lunch, and shook my own head.
“Nah,” I said.
Sherri was reminiscent of a magnet turned the wrong way: nobody seemed to want to grow near her, and it seemed like the closer you got, the more she pushed away. She wasn’t mean or anything, and no one said much of anything about her. She was simply there.
And then Doug talked to her.
Inexplicably, one day, Doug walked right up to Sherri between homeroom and first period, waving at her and offering her the school’s most precious contraband--a can of soda. Sherri had laughed and accepted, and the two became friends quite rapidly.
No one thought much of it. Doug had taken the leap that no one else had been able to, and now Sherri had a friend. It was incredibly mundane news, especially in the world of middle school drama ripe with boys talking to multiple girls and two girls having a crush on the same guy.
Doug passed away two weeks before winter break.
Our teacher informed us of this during homeroom, and tears were shed by all, myself included. Doug had been in the backseat of his parents’ car, coming home from the grocery store, when a drunk driver had struck the side of the car and killed him instantly.
Thirteen is far, far too young to die, and we were all faced with our mortality without preparation. Denial came and went, and unfortunately for Sherri, the anger of two hundred grieving, hormonal students was pinned on her alone.
Strike three had struck.
Since Doug had been Sherri’s first and only friend, it didn’t take long for the rumors about Sherri to start flying: by the end of the day, I could hardly tell what was true and what was a myth. According to my classmates, Sherri was an adopted weirdo who’d killed both her biological and adoptive parents, and her tattoos were trophies for every murder she’d committed. Someone else said that she was cursed, and that everyone she talked to would drop dead, leading to many, many lunchroom dares during that last week before break. Another student theorized that beneath her thick black bangs were demon eyes that would turn you to stone.
“She’s a witch,” someone said, waggling his fingers menacingly and glaring at Sherri from across the room. “She picks a victim, ensnares them, and wham! Next thing you know, you’re in front of a bus.”
“I heard she ate her real parents,” someone else said wisely. “And her adopted parents gave her up because she kept demanding human meat!”
Scary Sherri either didn’t know about the rumors or simply didn’t care. She was the same as always, sitting at her desk and testing new stick and poke designs with a blue pen, poring over her big, wordy mythology books. I pitied her, I really did, but seventh grade politics are no joke. As much as I wanted to talk to her and comfort her, telling her that everyone was just upset about Doug, I knew it would be social suicide to even express my compassion. That and her strange reverse magnetism was more than enough to keep me away.
She made no more friends in the next two weeks, and once winter break was over, she was gone. Transferred, our teacher had told us. And so began the legend of Scary Sherri, the witch, the demon, the murderer, who had come to our school simply to kill our classmate and vanished on the wind without a trace.
~
For a long time, that’s all Scary Sherri was: a legend. Throughout the rest of middle school and all of high school, Scary Sherri was the mystical deterrer of bad behavior, a threat that us kids would yell at each other when emotions boiled too hot. “I hope Scary Sherri gets you!” a girl would shout after her boyfriend cheated on her, and “watch out or Scary Sherri will find you and eat your soul!” was a frequent warning amongst students skipping class. Even when we all parted ways and left our small town for college, Scary Sherri lived on, her story being told over shared cigarettes and green.
I was certainly guilty of joining in on the storytelling--who wouldn’t be? Scary Sherri was a great spooky story, and since it was all bullshit anyway, I could dress up the tale however I wanted. Sometimes she pushed Doug in front of the car, and other times she’d been sacrificing a bunny the night before he’d died. It was all in good fun, and since I had no idea where Scary Sherri was, nor did I even remember her real name.
By the time I graduated college, I had almost completely forgotten about Scary Sherri. Other things occupied my mind--getting a stable job, decorating my new studio apartment, maybe even adopting a pet if my landlord would allow it. Much as I loved my new place, I was still broke as hell and swimming in student loans, and my budget for furniture and interview clothes was strictly limited to what I could find in thrift stores.
Not that I minded all that much: I’d been thrifting since I was in high school, and I knew how to find a good deal. New York City was sure to be overflowing with awesome secondhand gear. Bursting with the excited energy that only a recent grad in the big city could have, I set off for East Village, feeling ready to take on the world with my $54.
The first store was a bust--way overpriced, even for secondhand--but I struck gold in the next store.
“Sweet,” I whispered, practically fawning over the elaborately carved set of antique armchairs. Five dollars each. I was over the moon, taking a moment to simply bask in the glory of my luck. These things were just my style, and even though I hadn’t yet considered transporting multiple pieces of furniture to my apartment in Chelsea, I was ecstatic.
My eyes darted wildly around the thrift store, intent on buying these chairs before someone else snapped them up, and that’s when I saw her: Scary Sherri, perusing her way slowly through the assortment of sweaters in the men’s section.
I wouldn’t have recognized her if she hadn’t been wearing short sleeves, and even then, her arms were far from what I remembered. From a distance, I couldn’t make out the specifics of her collection of stick and poke tattoos, but even the blurred, distant shape was a sight to behold. The ink swelled and danced effortlessly around her arms and shoulders, each bone in her arm drawn to scale against the skin and decorated to the nines. Even her fingers were tattooed, all in black, contrasting sharply with her pale skin.
I stared in awe for a few moments, my eyes locked on the strange shape etched into her wrist, one of the relics from middle school. It hadn’t aged a day, only woven more intricately into the tapestry surrounding it.
More than anything, I wanted to walk up to her and say hello. I couldn’t pinpoint why, exactly--maybe it was guilt about how I’d ignored her in middle school, or maybe it was to get a closer look at those incredible tattoos. Whatever the reason, before I even realized I was doing it, I had abandoned my chairs and was drifting toward Scary Sherri, as though her magnetism had somehow switched directions in the past decade.
Once I reached her, I completely blanked on what I was supposed to say to someone who was basically a stranger, and all of my tact was abruptly abandoned. I leaned toward her and tapped her shoulder, blurting before I could stop myself.
“Scary Sherri?”
She turned rather abruptly, looking quite surprised, and for the first time, I noticed that her eyes were hazel--a vibrant, golden hazel. I slapped my hands over my mouth, embarrassed, my cheeks growing red-hot under my fingertips.
“Oh, my God, I am so sorry,” I said hurriedly. “I just--I’m sorry, that completely slipped out, it’s just--we went to middle school together. Is that weird for me to say?”
Scary Sherri regarded me with remarkable calm, cocking her head to the side like a curious dog, her long black hair sliding gracefully over her shoulders. “Which middle school?” she asked, her voice soft, slightly raspy.
“Um--Dalewood?”
Scary Sherri’s eyes cleared, and a thin smile lit up her face. “Oh, right! Seventh grade!” she said, her eyes swirling with an odd mix of sorrow and relief. “I’m so sorry about what happened to Doug. I take it that’s where ‘Scary Sherri’ came from?”
I flushed more violently, amazed at how much more beautiful Scary Sherri had gotten over the years. She was beautiful in an unconventional, gaunt sort of way, her skin taut over her slender features. Her tattoos snaked up her neck and, from what I could see, covered everything but her face--her legs, the tiny bit of exposed midriff, everything was painted with endless black dots, clustered just the right way to form images that seemed to move where she did.
“Uh, yeah,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck anxiously. “Yeah, we all sort of got it in our heads that you were a witch or a demon or cannibal or something.”
Surprisingly, Scary Sherri laughed. “Witch and demon I’ve heard before, but cannibal is new,” she said, her shoulders trembling as she tried to swallow giggles.
“We were pretty awful to you back in the day,” I admitted. “I’m really sorry about--”
“Oh, please, Diana,” Scary Sherri said, playfully swatting at my shoulder. “That was years ago. Don’t even worry about it. Trust me, if you think of the world’s meanest nickname, I’ve still heard ten times worse. Never been a lucky girl, and that shit leaves a reputation.”
I was about to pry, incredibly curious, but Scary Sherri’s yellowish gaze shifted over my shoulder, her eyebrows crinkling.
“Uh, you were looking at those chairs, right?” she said, pointing. “You might wanna grab them before Grandma over there gets to them first.”
I whirled around, immediately ready to cut the throat of any old woman who tried to take my chairs. “Shit,” I hissed. “Thanks!”
I took two steps toward the chairs before pausing, turning back to look at Scary Sherri. “Wait right here,” I said.
Her head cocked once again, ever so slightly. “Okay. Why?”
“Because I need your number,” I said. “If you wanna join me for coffee sometime, that is.”
Scary Sherri’s eyes softened, and she nodded, a small smile lifting her lips. “Yeah,” she said. “I’ll wait here. Go get your chairs, girl.”
I returned to smile and rushed to claim my chairs, completely oblivious to the fact that I’d never, not even in middle school, told Scary Sherri my name.
~
Three hours into our coffee date, I was finally beginning to pinpoint why Scary Sherri’s eyes held so much woe.
The middle school rumor about her parents had been partially true--her biological parents had both passed away in a tragic accident just months after her birth, and her adoptive mother had died of heart failure, leading to her adoptive father committing suicide a few days later. Scary Sherri assured me, with a surprising amount of lightheartedness, that she had not killed them.
“If I did,” she said with a smirk, “I would’ve kept up their old house a lot better. Place was a dump when I finally got to move in.”
Scary Sherri also promised me that she was not a witch nor a demon--tragedy just seemed to follow her. Almost all of her friends, her girlfriends, her family members, even her pets had met untimely and unfortunate ends, which is why she tended to keep to herself.
“That must get lonely,” I said sympathetically.
“Sometimes,” she admitted. “But the people I do meet are wonderful, and they’re always worth the heartache. Especially the dogs. Those might be my fault, since I always adopt them out of hospice and spoil them to death. Literally.”
She was very casual about death, and strangely, I was charmed by it. It was beautiful. The universe seemed to take joy in stealing loved ones away from her, and she still found the strength to smile.
I told Scary Sherri about my dreams of being a social worker, even if my current job was nonexistent. She assured me that I would find one soon, especially with the growing acceptance of getting help for mental health issues. I asked her what she did, and she told me that she was a kayaking instructor on the Hudson. She loved being on the water.
I asked if she’d teach me how to kayak sometime. She regarded me with that calm, sad smile for a moment before nodding. She’d love to, she said.
~
My assumption had been correct--Scary Sherri was covered head-to-toe in tattoos, a fact that was immediately confirmed when she walked out of the kayak storage garage in nothing but a bikini. I asked what some of them meant, and she simply laughed, saying we would need a third date just to explain the meanings behind them all.
She dragged one kayak in each arm as we approached the water, beaming, her hair tied back into a long ponytail that swayed side to side with each step. I couldn’t stop staring at her, watching as her tattoos seemed to move in the fading sunlight, vines and flowers and snakes and symbols weaving in and out of her anatomically flawless inked ribs.
I was incredibly clumsy in the water, which was only amplified by the incredible grace with which Scary Sherri moved. She handled the paddle with unmatched deftness, laughing as she tried to show me the right way to effectively steer.
“Use your hips!” Scary Sherri called, standing up in her kayak and sticking the paddle vertically into the water. “Point your body toward the direction you want to go!”
“I want to go forward!” I laughed. “Why do I keep turning?!”
“The hips, Diana, the hips!” Scary Sherri yelled, swinging her own hips from side to side--how her kayak stayed afloat was an absolute mystery. “And you’re favoring your right arm! Put more juice into the left!”
I rotated in a complete circle without moving forward at all. I must’ve looked like an idiot, but it was worth it to see Scary Sherri laugh as hard as she did. She jumped into my kayak and grabbed my hands, twisting the paddle using my grip, successfully moving us forward a few feet.
“See?” she said, her words just shy of my ear. “It’s all in the hips.”
I turned my head and kissed her. She kissed me back, and the kayak capsized. We laughed, and I suggested we go to my apartment to get dried off--it wasn’t far from here, and I had just bought a bottle of white wine the other day. Scary Sherri said she preferred red, so we went to the liquor store first.
Back at my apartment, we drank it all and fell over each other, laughing. We kissed in my new chairs, we kissed against the wall, we kissed on my mattress, and I made sure to kiss every single one of her tattoos.
~
When I awoke in the middle of the night, Scary Sherri wasn’t next to me.
I sat upright, gathering the sheets over myself and looking wildly around the studio apartment for any sign of her, my eyes landing on a note pinned to the refrigerator. I shuffled toward it, rubbing sleep out of my eyes.
Had to go to work, it read. I’ll be back with wine tonight. Wait right here.
I smiled and clutched the note to my chest, falling back into the bed, too tired to wonder why anyone would sign up for kayaking lessons held at two in the morning.
~
Scary Sherri’s schedule was incredibly irregular, but as I was still unemployed, it didn’t bother me one bit. She slept at my place at least three times a week since it was so much closer to work than her own apartment, and I had no complaints. We spent many evenings in calm, blissful quiet, Scary Sherri’s head resting in my lap and pointing at my laptop screen as I scrolled through job openings.
It was a month before I finally got an interview, and when I did, Scary Sherri was even more excited than I was.
“You are going to do amazing,” she said as we settled into bed, stroking my hair as I checked my alarms again and again. “If they don’t hire you, they’re idiots.”
“If they don’t hire me, you’re going to have to chip in for rent, because I’m fresh out of cash,” I joked.
Scary Sherri smiled warmly. “If you need me to, sure.”
I tilted her chin up and kissed her. She smiled underneath my lips, soothing me into a fretful sleep.
~
Scary Sherri wasn’t there when I jolted awake at midnight, but she was there when my alarm went off, smiling and perfectly well rested.
“Interview time, babe,” she said brightly. “Come on, get up! Big day!”
“Five more minutes,” I groaned, throwing a pillow over my head.
“No more minutes!” Scary Sherri said, whapping her hands against the blankets noisily. “If you don’t get up, you don’t get breakfast!”
“Bagel and butter?” I mumbled.
Scary Sherri nodded, her golden-hazel eyes shimmering with an emotion I couldn’t quite place. “And cinnamon sugar,” she tempted.
~
As I adjusted the collar of my blouse, Scary Sherri walked up behind me, plucking at the flowing fabric.
“I have something for you,” she said, resting her chin on my shoulder.
I grinned, nudging my head against hers. “I only have a few minutes before I leave,” I teased.
Scary Sherri snorted. “No,” she said with a roll of the eyes. “Here.”
She placed her hand in mine, leaving behind something cold and round as her fingers slowly withdrew. “Hold onto this no matter what,” she said mysteriously.
I looked down at my hand, puzzled at the sight: a heavy golden coin sat heavily in my palm, slightly tarnished yet still glowing with warmth. I lifted it to my face, rotating it gently between my fingers, surprised at the heft that such a small coin could have.
“A gold dollar?” I said, giving Scary Sherri a dry grin. “What’s it for? Special vending machines?”
“For good luck,” she said, closing my fist around the coin. “Promise me you’ll keep it with you.”
“I mean, sure,” I said, still incredibly confused--I’d never heard of golden dollars being a good luck charm, but I supposed anything was possible. “I’ll keep it right here.”
I lifted my leg and dropped the gold coin into my shoe, safely tucking it under my toes for safe keeping. Scary Sherri smiled, her eyes slightly forlorn.
“I love you,” she said, catching me off guard.
I blinked and met her eyes, my face melting into a surprised smile. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I love you, Diana,” Scary Sherri said, rolling her eyes amusedly. “Now shush and go get a job.”
She smacked me from behind, jolting me toward the door, and I smirked over my shoulder as my hand met the doorknob.
“I love you too, Sherri,” I said. “Be back in an hour or so, okay?”
Scary Sherri nodded, waving as the door closed behind me.
~
The coin initially felt very strange in my shoe, but after a few blocks, I barely noticed it anymore. My heart was too busy glowing, constantly replaying Scary Sherri’s voice in my head. If Scary Sherri could love me, then dammit, I could do anything. I was going to ace this interview and no one was going to stop me.
I debated getting a taxi since my GPS was trying to steer me in all kinds of strange directions, but the sun felt so wonderful against my shoulders that I opted to walk instead. The NYC smog seemed to fade away, the skies clearing, the skyscrapers glistening, cars honking a beautiful song of love and new beginnings.
I wiped a joyful tear from my eye as I turned down a street I wasn’t familiar with, listening to the sounds of people chatting and shouting. My heart thrummed a tune as I passed a row of brownstone buildings, the jagged architecture a treat for my eyes to behold.
One of the doors whipped open as I passed by, and a woman came stumbling out, cowering and shrieking. I froze, turning toward her with wide eyes, only catching a glimpse of the man that had pushed her.
I didn’t even see the gun in his hand--I only saw the brownstone buildings vanish from view, replaced by an empty blue sky and an endless, penetrating darkness.
~
When I awoke, I immediately became aware of only one thing--this was not New York City.
I bolted upright, grasping at my chest, wheezing wildly as though I hadn’t tasted air in years. Nothing hurt, but nothing felt good, either. I gripped at my blouse, something coarse slipping down the fabric, my fingers like icicles against my clothes.
It was so dark. Maybe I had passed out on the street? I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my fuzzy vision, hoping to make sense of my surroundings and only growing more confused.
The crystal New York City was gone, replaced with a haze of murky grey like nothing I’d ever seen before. The sky was tinged with red and orange, though with no apparent source--there were no clouds, no sunlight, nothing. Just smudges of grey and crimson like a painter’s failed abstract piece, higher than anything I’d ever seen, higher even than the sky itself.
It was so dark. I struggled to get to my feet, my heels slipping against a ground that was grainy and damp, the coldest silt I’d ever felt seeping between my toes and scraping the undersides of my feet. I rubbed my eyes, clearing the sediment from my face, jostling it out of my hair and sending it cascading down my blouse.
The mist that surrounded me was of no color I’d ever seen before, caught somewhere between grey and blue and green and a deep, unending black. I held my hands forward, skimming my fingers through the fog, part of me expecting to cut through it like putty, but my touch did nothing.
“Hello?” I called, cupping my hands around my mouth and turning in confused circles. “Anyone out there?”
The response I received was as immediate as it was unexpected: “Shh.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin, spinning around wildly. I appeared to be entirely alone, but the whisper had been so close to me, right behind me. I clasped instinctively at my chest, searching for the reassuring pounding of my heart and feeling nothing.
Hello?” I called again, panic rising in my voice. “Can anyone hear me?”
“Shh.” Once again, I heard it, but the disembodied voice was at least kind enough to elaborate. “Follow. Do not disturb the waiting.”
“Follow?”
And just like that, out of the darkness, I was able to make out shapes. Strange, translucent shapes, but shapes nonetheless. They were moving strangely, their dark forms twisting and curling in a manner unlike anything I’d ever seen, but they were also getting smaller.
Whatever they were, they were moving away.
“Follow,” the whisper urged me once again.
I was too confused and too terrified to ask for clarification. Still seeking my heartbeat, I stumbled across the silty ground, clumsily making my way toward the shadowy figures as they curled and contorted deeper into the colorless mist.
It may have been seconds that I was walking, or it may have been hours, but at some point, I became acutely aware of sounds that were finally penetrating the air and making my breath catch in fresh panic. Moans, cries, gentle sobs, and confused whispers resonated through the dreary landscape, growing louder as my footsteps grew longer. My teeth chattered, and I joined them for a moment, a miserably confused choking sound bubbling from my throat before I could stop it.
“Please,” someone murmured, just to my left. “Please, do you have a spare?”
I kept my eyes forward, not wanting to look at whoever was speaking. Whatever these shadows were, I doubted I wanted to see one up close.
Please,” someone else whimpered sorrowfully. “I can’t wait anymore. They won’t let me cross.”
I kept walking, swallowing down tears as they stung the backs of my eyes.
I beg of you!” A voice shrieked just ahead, the sudden increase in volume setting off a chorus of groans and sighs from all directions. “Please! I deserve to cross!”
“I already told you, no,” a strangely familiar voice responded. “Either you pay or you wait. Those are the rules.”
“But I need to cross,” the crying voice wailed. “My wife!”
“And I need you to stop bothering me,” the familiar voice said exasperatedly.
My breath caught in my throat as realization struck me, and I let out a strangled cry, pushing through the shapeless crowd of silhouettes. “Sherri?” I called, my voice cracking.
I pushed directly through one of the dark masses, earning myself an indignant grunt of disapproval, but I no longer had the capacity to care. Finally, this confusing dream had something that made sense: Sherri was here.
“Sherri!” I said again, tripping over a plank of clammy wood and nearly losing my footing. “Sher--”
I stopped dead, my eyes growing wide at the sight of her before me.
It was undoubtedly my beloved Scary Sherri, but only someone with my knowledge of her could have possibly discerned such a fact. Her long black hair was swirling around her head slowly, purposefully, as though she were suspended underwater. Her clothes did the same, an unfamiliar black robe billowing outwards in plumes of black velvet and silk. Every tattoo was in place across her body, but instead of simply looking like they moved, they were moving--endless designs danced across her transparent skin, flowing and rippling around her visible white skeleton.
When Scary Sherri turned to face me, though her smile was the same one I knew, her eyes were not--two solid orbs of gold lay within her sockets, the skin on her face entirely transparent, showing every detail of her skull underneath. If I’d cared to, I could have counted every tooth in her jaw, picked out each minor imperfection in the bone beneath her flesh. I wasn’t even sure if I was looking at her or through her, but I could still easily make out of the softness of her expression, the sadness and relief blurring together in her eyes like they always had.
“Diana,” she said soothingly, her voice so wonderfully familiar in a world that no longer made sense. “Do you have your coin?”
“Sherri,” I gasped, staggering forward and grabbing onto her shoulders, relishing in the familiar feeling of her cool skin. “Where am I?”
Scary Sherri chuckled, and from this close, I could hear that her voice was not entirely her own--a thousand other voices mingled with hers, deep and high, smooth and gruff, gentle and stern. “Down here, it’s ‘Sharon,’” she corrected gently. “Give me your coin, babe--I’ll explain on the way.”
I looked up into her golden eyes, tears falling from my own, but I obliged despite my complete and utter confusion. Slowly, I leaned down and extracted the single gold coin from my shoe, holding it toward Scary Sherri with trembling fingers.
“Here,” I said. “Why do you--”
Behind me was suddenly a raucous uproar of miserable wailing and begging, shaking the unstable ground beneath my feet.
“Let me come with you!” a woman’s voice shrieked.
“I’ll trade anything for that coin!” a man bellowed, his voice cracking. “Please, young lady, I’ve been here for--”
“I told you all to shut up!” Scary Sherri snapped, procuring a massive and ostentatiously carved pole from the mist that surrounded us. She slammed the pole down, and a loud splash both silenced the herd of shadows and rocked the ground beneath my feet. I stumbled, but Scary Sherri tightened a slender hand around my arm, keeping me upright. “Unless any of you have payment, I will now be departing.”
A few more of the misty silhouettes moaned in disapproval, but none stepped forward. I stared down at my feet dumbly, finally able to make sense of at least one thing.
“We’re on a boat,” I said.
Scary Sherri smiled at me, unbothered by the horde of faceless masses that had just pleaded with her. “Shall we, then?” she said warmly.
Without waiting for me to answer, she lowered her pole into the water, pushing the mysterious shore and its wailing crowd away and engulfing us in silence.
~
“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner,” was the first thing Scary Sherri said as soon as the tenebrous coastline was out of sight.
For a long moment, I didn’t know what to say, and I simply stared at the water as it foamed beneath our boat.
“Tell me what, exactly?” I said, my voice thin and rusty. “You haven’t told me anything. At all.”
Scary Sherri sighed. “You never did like when I sugarcoated things,” she said. “You’re dead, Diana. And so are all of those souls on the shores.”
I wished that I could have been surprised, but instead, I felt as though a large weight had been lifted from my chest. “Bummer,” I said, reaching toward the water, wondering what it felt like.
Scary Sherri swooped down and grabbed my wrist before my fingertips made contact, shaking her head. “Don’t touch it,” she said harshly.
I frowned. “Why?”
“It’ll claim you.”
I rolled my eyes, growing more and more frustrated by Scary Sherri’s non-answers. “Sherri--or Sharon, I guess--where am I? Is this hell? You said you weren’t a demon.”
Scary Sherri, much to my surprise, giggled quite amusedly. “I’m not,” she said. “I’m a ferryman.”
My brow furrowed as I looked up at her. “Sharon… you mean like…”
“Yes,” she said with a nod, pleased with my understanding.
I looked back down at the water, realization beginning to wash over me. “So you knew that I…?”
“I’m sorry,” Scary Sherri murmured, pushing her pole gracefully through the water once again. “I told you, I’m not lucky in the mortal realm. Souls only approach me when their time is close. They know that their current cycle is ending, and they remember to come to me when the time comes. I give them coins so they can pass… it’s not much, since I can only help so many of them, but He doesn’t want me handing out coins all willy nilly. The Underworld has been at capacity for centuries, and it’s better to keep some souls waiting on the shores. Even if it pains me to hear them cry, day in and day out.”
A heavy silence fell between us. I dragged my fingers along the soft wood below me, biting my lip.
“Your parents?” I inquired, lowering my head. “And your adoptive parents? Doug?”
“I was born to my parents because their time was nearest,” Scary Sherri sighed. “My adoptive parents came to me because they were so close as well. Same with Doug. With all of them.”
“You just follow them around,” I mumbled, my motionless heart somehow still managing to sink. “With me, you just…?”
Scary Sherri chuckled quietly. “I’ve explained this to you a dozen times, and I’ll explain it again,” she said, sounding almost entertained. “I have always found your soul. And I will always find it, over and over again. Until your cycles have run their course, I will be waiting for you with a coin in my pocket.”
I lifted my head, looking into Scary Sherri’s skeletal face, the gold orbs deep in her eye sockets. “You--?”
“This is the ninth time I’ve had you on my ferry,” she said wistfully. “Stop being a little shit in the mortal realm, and maybe you’ll finally get your second entrance into Elysium. I’ve got my fingers crossed this time--your last cycle got you into Elysium, and since you wanted to be a social worker in this cycle, I bet They’ll vote favorably. You were even blessed with Diana’s name--that’s gotta show for something. Just one more cycle, babe. Just one more.”
I met Scary Sherri’s eyes, bursting with questions, but she simply shook her head and lowered her pole into the water once again. The hushed sound of water lapping against silt had filled my ears once again, and she leaned down to kiss my forehead, a smile on her lips.
“Go,” she breathed. “Be cleansed. I’ll be waiting for you no matter what They vote.”
As the sound of tired voices and barking dogs filled my ears, a sense of familiarity washed over me, and I nodded all of my uncertainty away. “Okay,” I whispered. “I love you.”
Sharon’s smile widened, and she put my gold coin between her teeth, winking at me. “Good luck.”
~
The new girl came into our class in early October, a particularly strange time to enroll, which was the first strike against her. The teacher bounced up from her seat the greet the new student, but the nervous young girl shrank away from her, rumpling her hair into her face.
“Everyone, we have a new student today,” the counselor said, grouchy and dry as ever. “Say hello to Miss Zoe McAdams.”
“Hi,” the girl whispered without lifting her gaze from the ground.
The class droned a monotonous greeting at Zoe slipped toward her desk, the eyes of fourteen students following her all the way across the room. I watched her carefully, my heart pounding as she sat in the chair next to mine.
"Zoe?" I whispered, nudging her shoe with my own. "We're seat buddies now."
Zoe glanced in my direction, tucking her hair farther into her face. "Okay," she said uncertainly. "What's on your arm?"
I looked down at my wrist, prodding the pomegranate I'd tattooed on myself a few weeks prior. "A tattoo," I said. "Did it all by myself."
"Cool," Zoe murmured. "I love pomegranates."
"Really? Me too!" I said, ignoring the way the teacher glared at me. "Wanna come over after school? I can read you my super secret story, if you wanna hear it, since we're seat buddies."
Zoe nodded. "Okay. That sounds neat. Thanks, um... what's your name?"
"Sherri," I said, a smile splitting my face in half. "My name's Sherri. And you're totally gonna love this story. I just know it."
submitted by itssusanity to Wholesomenosleep [link] [comments]


2020.06.18 23:53 Tomas-T My season idea: Total Drama - The Next Generation

So during my walk with my dog I though about how cool a "next generation" season could be cool for TD. So after some thinking I created this concept:
20 years later, 20 children of past campers invited to a new season of TD named "The Next Generation" season that will take place at "Camp Wawanakwa 2.0" (pak Island that now looks like Wawanakwa). The host is not Chris. Chris got promotion and now he is the producer. since we need someone to host the show Chris decide to do a good thing for once and give the hosting job to Topher himself (and Topher's adopted chilren: Gina and Kyle are the hosts of the aftermath). The 20 campers slit to two teams:
Copycat Cats (Campers who grown up to be like their parents):
Chase - The son of Mike and Zoey. Nice guy overall. afraid he has MPD like his father
Laura - The daugther of Dakota and Sam. Like her mother (who turned human back years ago) she is very pretty. like her father she has obssesion for something but its not video games. she is anime fangirl.
Gedon - Gedon's father is a red head farmer with armpit fetish, his mother is successful lawyer from the suburbs. just because his father loves bossy ladies their relationship works. Gedon want to be a successful layer just like his mother but her wants to enjoy the freedom of the farm. Gedon's world will change when he will fall in love with the most unexpected person that proved that history can repeat itself.
Jade - Jade is the leader of this team. Her mother raised her to be indipended and strong woman. But another camper really hates her just because her rejected his father during the 6th season.
Cody Jr. - Sierra decide that if she can't get simp Cody she just need another simp. and she find the perfect one: Dave. still her obbession for Cody made her call her son Cody Jr. Dave told Cody about Sky. and when Cody met Sky, he began to hate her.
Thunder - Surprised but Lightning has a son. of course Lightning will give him this nickanme. Thunder is basicly Lightning because they are so close. but Thunder has some planes to make to prove that he is better than his father. but by the end of the day Thunder is like his father: secondray antagonist
Luna - The calm daugther of Dawn and Dj. she loves animals and they love her. she has the same supernatural powers as her mother but somehow Luna's power are stronger. so stronger that she could find the antagonist's true face. but she will learn from her mother's mistake and do anything to make it further.
Jax - Jax got the sas and attitude of his mother Leshawna. but he got the geekness of his father Harold. some people will try to bully him but it won't be that easy because Jax's skills are mad.
Marina - like her parents Marina love the ocean. she loves surfing and she want to help animals. she work as her mother (Bridgette) assistent in her clinic. however, because she is the first girl who was born to Geoff's family in six generations, Geoff see her as his little girl and he can't get over the fact she is growin up.
Barbara - a true survivor. Her father, Shawn, alwsays raised her like a zombie appocalips could start any moment. While her mother, Jasmine, never liked the idea about tell little kids about zombies, she wanted her daugther to be a true survivor like them. the bad news, like her father, she belive the zombies.
Individual Dogs (Campers who are nothing like their parents)
Cassandra - our main protagonist. Cassandra, AKA Cassie, is the only daguther of single mother Gwen. Cassie arrived after a huge fight with her mother. fight about the competition and the fact that Gwen does not want to tell Cassie the identity of her father. Cassandra wants to win the money to hire a prive detective to find out who her father is and what happened to him. mayby Cassie's long black hair, green eyes and cleft chin gives us a clue?
Nico - Nico arrived from New Jersy were he lives with his mother Anne Maria and his father Ezekiel. Nico never felt belong to New Jersey and he think that maybe in TD he will find the place he can fit. lets just hope the curse of being eliminated first is not on him.
Jack - it seems all the hate between Brick and Jo was a cover up on their sexual tension. While he raised to love sports and fashion, he hate both. He just laid back and want to have some good time. it is really hard thing to get? (yes)
Elizabeth - its hard thing to be the smartest person in your family. and its harder to be the only smart person in your family. Elizabeth had to deal with this issue because her paretns are not so smart. but still Elizabeth love them so much because Lindsay and Tyler are so likable people. yet, she need to find the proper place to study if she want to go to a good university.
Ozzy - yes its weird to be named after the ship name. but he is Owen and Izzy's son so it make sense. Ozzy is a true gentelman. smart, handsome and polite. and the most important: SANE!
Kira - Kira is a bitch. just like her mother. but her bitchness make Gedon, Courtney's son, fall in love with her. only if Kira knew that her (divocred) father used to be Courtney's boyfriend when they compete in the original season of TD.
Tristan - Noah used to say that Justin is his "anti-me" but the real "anti Noah" is Noah's own son. Tristan is joyful and positive person. has a lot of motivation to do his best in the season and help his team as much as he can.
Regina - Regina is very attractive girl. she got her father's spanish tan skin, her mom long black hair. her eyes are green like her father but they have asian shape like her mother. When you see her, you can geuss she is the daugther of Heather and Alejandro. but when you know her you ask yourself "how the nicest peson ever is the daugther of those two jerks?". and to make things more confusing: She is Cassie's best friend.
Glen - Trent's only son. Glen is a loner, he has social anxity disorder. its really hard for him to connect people, know them and open his heart and some people think he had bad intentions because his gothic style. but underneth the goth clothes there is a person with big heart. and he find an amazing connection with Cassandra.
Alisson - sometimes even the best plans can go wrong and this is the case with Alisson. She claims she is the daugther of past campers but she refuse to give more information. She claim she nicer than her but smarter. she watched home every single episode of TD and was send by her mother to be the best TD antagonist EVER. its so terrific!
So, what do you think? any ideas for elimination order? XD
submitted by Tomas-T to Totaldrama [link] [comments]


2020.06.11 11:48 noglassisjusthalf The Forgiving Noose

Author's Note: Maybe this is all excessive and overplayed, but it comes from a place of sorrow. Now let's get back.
<>
???: Finally, some darkness. I was afraid that I'd go blind from seeing the color of radiation.
???: ......
<>
Prisoner: I specifically ordered Soil Association gruel. All I got was a whale steak. They know my spirit animal too well. Still, what difference would it make if the poor guy made it up there before I know where I go?
???: I gather that you do not like your given name very well. But I will call you Mr. Doe, the unidentifiable trans name.
Doe: Bambi, please shoot me.
Chaplain: Let us begin. What do I need to listen to you right now?
Doe: Murder. I put a man to death. That is why we will walk down the aisle in just a little while.
Chaplain: I decide the time. They trust me.
Doe: Bite me. See if I care more.
Chaplain: Now, let me listen.
Doe: Not talking, mister.
It started with a bang. My big bang. A costly mistake for a YouCab wheeler. Wasn't on the clock though. No, I was fighting microseconds just to make sure I didn't drive with an expired road tax sticker. All it took was for one highspeed mistake to send the unwitting motorcyclist scraping the ground like a swimmer. And we haven't even begun to get to the worst part. No, not that, he got corrective surgery at a private hospital with extra money for a brand new motorbike. It was a bonus that Daddy's cousin, the store supervisor, said he did it, not me.
So. My point?
I ended that fateful 201X with this, a family reunion. Lah tee duh! Back in the home, with the family, and all the politics of being an adult who can't live like one. Woo hoo.
Doe: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Whuh? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
???: My name is WWW. That's right, that one. So, one night before any of this, in a very bachelor kind of apartment, thanks to an "accidental" lapse of cognitive power, my Jean Grey and I met each other en deshabille. I too died young, as you will know.
I told Bill that we can never meet again. He has to show himself to me. I wanted a real relationship. I want to be able to talk. But no, that was too much for him. So yeah, I don't stay if you don't talk. And yes, I do have a pair down there. That's why I left the guy.
The following year was a very fatty one. I got fat. Fat on not just witching hour coconut chicken curry, but also "reality". This joke, called society. Or more aptly, secret societies. Yes. They all make the same hand sign, thanks magic plumber, over and over again. And the people who do these are your parents. Your policemen. Your presidents. Your farmers. Your siblings if they have been scouted. And here I was, thinking you were just being "expressive" with your hands. Who knows maybe even the little one in your womb is making it.
So yeah, what is a guy to do with mysteries? Why should he even care?
All this while, I never thought I'd see Satan for myself. He is in the system of his making. 666. Club 33? 666. UN? 666 Deus Ex PC Game? Mr. Lewis, the satyr of Christ? Guess what? That's right, Sherlock.
So the world is full of top elites, who want the world to become a slave electricity grid. Inch by inch, they lead you further and further away from God. And God let this happen. So they made you the internet, the smartphone, the FaceAlbum, the Hollywood homes, the singers, and most of all, the currency makers. You may not end up like a human battery like in the Matrix, but you are sure to run out of options that can actually save you, besides the guarantee of suicide. And suicide is the real post-crucifixion sin. Let that one sink in.
So yeah, who was going to stop me from leaving on my own terms anyway? You? I made you, and if you stand in my way, you get to watch me rip you with a single mental loose thread. I could but I'm not such a bad guy. Don't try me though.
Doe: So how did I end up here?
Chaplain: You turned.
Doe: LOL, turn.
Then, it all turned.
First with a funny story.
Sugar in your Tea. Lalalalalalala.
I'm kind of glad I got what I wanted. No one should have to call a Jew stupid only to find out that the caller is also Jewish. That is a kind of self-inflicted goth abortion for your brain.
Sugar in your tea. Lalalalalalala.--->My exaggeration. I felt guilty doing the lalalala part it was how I felt then.
Then now back to the family home.
It started with FaceAlbum. We became really close, yet not sexually so. It was like having a friend again at school recess playing the chase game. It started with tears of a very hard start for a young family that couldn't even start.
I thought, that maybe, I should be the change the world I want wants to see. Who cares about being street smart when your logic is the noose around your target? Not me. But this time, I will decide the fate of the world with my terms.
And so began my odyssey. Back towards Revelation 22 not Revelation 1.
I wanted to make it big in social media. Everyone is all siloed up and all they end up when they travel is friendless. No gain, no loss. Just big fat friend 0. I was also fat with being a friendless 0 in "real life".
I will get to the States, and then I'll learn to encapsulate. Never mind that no legal firm can patent my social media idea without code. I can get people to do it with my natural leadership. No flop sweat.
I met a divorcee and I was prepared to father her two kids with a YouCab commission and possibly let them stay in a 490 square feet studio with one queen bed, the oxygen of the luxurious neighbourhood is all they need to lead the world.
Then she left with my old laptop. No skin off my back. And my birthday novel. Kind of pissed. But, whoever out there cut the cables to my Korean car, I still haven't forgotten you and how afraid you made me feel back then. Water under bridge when you apologise as well as me. I got back with Bill, and see that she is beautiful, with huge muscly man pectorals, just what will seal a deal like mine. Yes, I know, I still have to catch up.
Doe: Aha! You.
Chaplain: Just listening.
Doe: Did you know that I turned my well earned sandy hourglass when I heard your footsteps? Lol. It's so loud you know, like really really loud right now. Shut up hourglass!
A man died. Not just any man. Let me be clear first. I first thought of a band that I forgot for years, then downloaded CyberRadio, and then listened to the song that made me cry. Happy tears at first, then indifference mixed with ohnoes! when I heard that he died. It hurts my head a little to think I can be like that, yes we are all really surprised.
It has been a few years. My life has never been better. But the thing about life outside of a Messiah, is that a death like this lets you pierce the mists, just when you thought the moonshine makes the dark Earth day. Nononono. It is a cruelty only the strong should face. I am nearly there, and will be so soon.
But first! A TV show. And a dearly loved old man.
An old guy decided to love my past life brother and I so much that he would become gay and trans so that we will never have to pay the price of pioneering it ourselves. He knew that we needed much more than birth parents to make it this far.
Which got me thinking. Didn't this Mojave Garden singer also feel the same way?
Here comes my shame. He was a part of me from the very first time my pop radio station played his songs. He was so successful because the people up there knew that somehow, some way I would be led back into my birth purpose and to see it to the last earthly breath. The streetsmart notemaker took it upon himself to make my karmic debt as light as one sparrow feather. But what he didn't see coming was this, my brain and the noose it becomes around those misperceived as evil. And because of that, there is another real death in a world full of ultimately false ones. He decided to make his own salvation mine. Can you really ask for anymore birthdays or Christmasses if anyone did that for you, especially the bus station lady everyone is afraid of?
Doe: Man, that was long. But I want longer now.
Chaplain: One more thing, do you know who I am?
Doe: John 19:11, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the me who handed myself over to you is guilty of a greater sin."
Brotherly Goal Keeper: So you are really not the smartest guy in the world. I was the judge too, but you perceived me not. You were very good at forcing my hand though. But even if you did guess that, you would have felt the sand upon your lap. Come now, I have secured your release. We will have a debt to pay back the old whale. But ChicagoMan's soul is very much a part of the world we know, you only have to ask. Oh there now, my chest is all wet from your tears............
submitted by noglassisjusthalf to BedtimeStorytime [link] [comments]


2020.06.10 17:48 Dekkster Colossus Dimensional Ripper Warrior to Legend - Guide

Hey /CompetitiveHS I’m Dekkster and I hit legend this month using a Colossus Dimensional Ripper Warrior deck. I’ve played over 100 games using different builds of Big Warrior, but this one is the most refined and sits at a 64% win-rate (47-27).

Stats:
64% win-rate 47-27

Proof (w/ stat screenshots): https://twitter.com/DekksterGaming/status/1270453749924810753

### Colossus Ripper Warrior
# Class: Warrior
# Format: Standard
# Year of the Phoenix
#
# 2x (1) Boom Squad
# 2x (1) Shield Slam
# 2x (1) Sword and Board
# 2x (2) Corsair Cache
# 2x (3) Bladestorm
# 1x (3) Bulwark of Azzinoth
# 2x (3) Ramming Speed
# 2x (3) Shield Block
# 1x (4) Archmage Vargoth
# 1x (4) Kargath Bladefist
# 2x (4) Molten Breath
# 2x (4) Wrenchcalibur
# 2x (5) Brawl
# 2x (7) Evasive Drakonid
# 1x (8) Deathwing, Mad Aspect
# 1x (10) Colossus of the Moon
# 2x (10) Dimensional Ripper
# 1x (10) The Boom Reaver
#
AAECAQcG9pYD1pkD36kD360DvrkD+cIDDEuiBP8HlpQDmpQDl60D260D/7QDpbYDuLkDwLkD9sIDAA==
#

YouTube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GevdUwtGLkM
Twitch VOD link: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/645882020

General Strategy:
You usually end up playing like a control deck where once you hit 10 mana you just overwhelm your opponent. The game plan is to just use your removal as efficiently as possible and survive until 10 mana when you can start cheating out big minions with The Boom Reaver and Dimensional Ripper.
Be sure to not be TOO greedy with your removal and armor gain. If you can survive to 10 with a decent board state you’re probably gonna win, so sometimes shield slamming a 1 or 2 damage minion early may be the correct play.
Card Inclusions:
Boom Squad - This is to improve your dragon consistency for Molten Breath without actually putting a dragon in your deck in order to keep the value of Ripper higher. It’s also very flexible and sometimes you can find an additional Reaver or maybe you even want the lackey as you already have a dragon in hand to activate your breath.
Bulwark of Azzinoth - Super underrated card especially in this deck. Equipping this around turn 8/9 in order to feel more comfortable jamming your Ripper or Reaver on 10 is massive. Also it seems a lot of people don’t understand this card and don’t know how to read so they will misplay. This is insane vs DH when they’re trying to chunk you with Adepts and Metamorphosis, just keep in mind that Altruis and the lady with the arms will shred right through it.
Archmage Vargoth - The dream is to pull Goth out of your Ripper which will result in 6 minions on the board, but sometimes you end up drawing him and you have to use him differently. Maybe you want to try to stick him right before a Ripper turn, or maybe you end up just using him with Shield Block for +10 armor and 2 draws. Bladestorm + Vargoth can often be fantastic as well. If you need to go for value you can hope that Vargoth + Boom Squad pans out.
Wrenchcalibur - I had Lances in here before, but these fellas are much better. They ruin highlander decks and maybe also confuse your opponent to think you’re a terribly drawing bomb warrior. If you don’t have these you can try the Lances as the lackeys are great value, but these make the HL Hunter matchup pretty easy. The damage from the bombs are also great vs Druid and DH because they draw so quickly and then by the time you cheat out some big minions you end up killing them shortly after.
Colossus of the Moon - This big boy is probably the card I’m least sure about, but he just feels nutty sometimes. Ripper -> Colossus usually wins games if you do it on an empty board, but in aggro matchups you maybe would prefer to hit a taunt. Pulling Colossus off of Reaver is also bonkers because a 10/10 with divine shield rush can deal with almost anything. He usually feels awkward to play for 10 mana, but if your opponent just spent a turn board clearing (Reno Poof, Nether) then slamming this down afterwards can be game winning.
Dimensional Ripper - The deck is built around this and it’s why we’re limiting the amount of minions in our deck. You must keep in mind what minions are still in your deck and what the odds are of pulling what you need. Generally you’re gonna hit something super useful though. The nut is Goth, but even hitting two Kargaths is pretty nice because it will shuffle two primes into your deck. If you manage to hit two Kargath Primes you just win. Hitting Drakonid is also amazing against most decks. The worst target is generally The Boom Reaver because he’s not very proactive.
The Boom Reaver - This fella is very good as long as you still have a minion in your deck that isn’t Goth. Pulling DW, Colossus, or either Kargath is pretty great. Just don’t pull him out from a Ripper please.
Matchups:
Demon Hunter - 14-5 - (74%)
Pretty good matchup. You really want your Sword and Board, Cache, Bladestorm, Bulwark, and Ramming Speed. I would also keep Kargath and Molten Breath depending on your hand.
Bulwark is huge for denying a lot of damage from metamorph and adepts, but at the same time you don’t want to be too greedy with it. Ramming Speed is great for removing Satyr and so is Bladestorm although it may be awkward as they often have 1hp minions on the board too. If they waste Kayn and you clean him up with a Molten Breath then usually a Drakonid can seal the deal.
Druid - 6-2 - (65%)
Another great matchup. I’m going to assume these are the token builds with Ysera, Mountseller, and a couple swarms. You want to mulligan for your Bladestorms and Brawls. I’d even consider keeping DW if you have a couple AoEs.
Bladestorm is used to remove glowflies or large single targets like Mountseller and Ysera. Brawl is used to remove wide boards that have strange health totals that BS cant deal with, so usually you’re gonna be using this on Mountseller boards. Make sure that the Mountseller isn’t the minion winning the brawl. Deathwing usually deals with an entire board from Mountseller as well. Ysera is often a non-issue because if you follow up with a Ripper or Reaver, you’re gonna win.
Hunter - 6-1 - (86%)
This is vastly improved by using your Wrenches so I would keep those in the mulligan in addition to your early removal like S&B, Bladestorm, Ramming Speed, and Molten Breath. Just keep using efficient removal and gaining armor. If they can’t Brann or DQA you’re probably going to have a good time. They often can’t handle a couple big dudes, so once you Rip or Reaver you force a concede. Be mindful of the possibility of Rotnest and maybe don’t spend all your mana playing something like a Drakonid unless you have nothing else to do.
Mage - 2-2 - (50%)
This actually feels favored, just don’t get high rolled by boxes. Bombs are massive here so try to get caches and your Wrenches. One of the biggest mistakes you can make here is over extending into a Poof. Pace out your threats, try to save brawl for their big things. Bulwark is pretty weak here because they can ping it down. Not a lot of mages out there at the moment.
Priest - 0-7 - (0%)
I just auto concede. They’re super frustrating and my matches just end up being 30 minutes not only long resulting in a loss, but they tilt me beyond belief. I imagine I could have won a couple of these as they don’t have a great way to deal with Colossus. If you are feeling lucky and think you can Rip a Colossus, go for it, but I don’t think these are worth the time.
Rogue - 2-5 - (29%)
Rogues are a pain. Their dagger and small minions chip away at your Bulwark, Ramming Speed usually doesn’t clear much. Bladestorm won’t work well because non of the minions ever have the same health. Large dudes get sapped. You can’t usually deal with a large Eddy. Flik absolutely ruins you when you Ripper. Maybe hope to bait out their Flik and then Rip After, but no matter what they Flik it generally makes you lose.
Warrior - 10-4 - (71%)
Most of these are Bomb in my experience. Make sure you remove Skippers. Go for early game removal and Cache. The bombs don’t do too much to us because of our armor gain. The hardest turn is usually when they Boom, but hopefully you have some AoE in addition to a Shield Slam or some other sort of removal for Blastmaster. They don’t seem to do well against your large taunts so just survive ‘til Ripper and win.
Paladin, Shaman, Warlock (Favored)
Sample size is so small on these. Warlocks can’t deal with bombs or colossus. Paladin plays out similar to DH, Shaman can be annoying with Hexes and Earth Shocks, but are generally just long matches where they finally crumble.
Conclusion:
I’ve really been enjoying this deck. Nobody is playing it which ups the fun factor for me. I feel like there’s still a lot of room for refinement so hopefully that happens. Also, I do feel like a lot of the success for it comes from people expecting bomb warrior instead. Once people realize what you are, perhaps the win-rate will drop drastically.
Here are my socials if you want to see more off-meta stuff
https://www.twitch.tv/dekkster - I should be live right now
https://www.youtube.com/dekkstergaming
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